User talk:Polster.takala/sandbox

Hi Takala! My name is Alli and I am a junior with a major in marketing and a minor in organizational and professional communication studies. I'm excited to get to know you more this semester!

Peer Evaluation- You guys have done an awesome job so far! I think it is great how organized you are, it was very easy to follow along. There are only a few changes that I would suggest. In the first section on workplaces I would rewrite the first paragraph in a different order. The information that you have is very informative and interesting but I think it would sound better and help the paragraph flow better if you rearranged it. There were also a few concepts that were mentioned but not explained very detailed like the Bradford factor. If you add a few sentences about it and what it is I think it would really pull the concepts together. Otherwise I really enjoyed the edit choices you have made. The article is looking great! Good job! Wallace.megan (talk) 21:50, 18 November 2017 (UTC)Megan Wallace[reply]

Great job, Absenteeism group. Your work was wonderful and it is very clear that you put a lot of work into this. I agree with Tessa when she suggested maybe explaining a little bit about what the Bradford factor is very briefly. I really enjoy how you added a new section about absenteeism in school and how when children don't go to class, it has positive and negative impacts. I'm not sure if this is feasible, but if there is research out there I think it would be interesting to talk about it from the perspective of absenteeism among teachers, and how that form of absenteeism positively and negatively affects the students. Other than that suggestion I think your group has done some really good work! Keep it up. Buss.emma (talk) 17:39, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Evaluation Introduction- The lead is very well written. It defines the topic and gives you insight into what is going to be covered in the rest of the article. The only suggestion I have is to break up one of the sentences, it is a tad long and the point may be lost. Workplace section- Very relevant information in this section. There are a few places with grammatical errors that could be easily fixed, i.e. placing the word "and" into a list. Also I think it would be better if you broke the section up and put some sub-headers in, then the information would flow better. Consider removing "for example" in this section, it will sound more professional and less like a paper. In School section- This is also written very well. I like the study that you put into it. I would say just minor grammatical changes here and there and again maybe adding in some sub-headers. Managing Absenteeism in the workplace- I think you need to cite your information differently in this section, how you have it is similar to APA (but I do realize this is a draft so that probably will be done soon). I also think this paragraph sounds more like a paper because of how you word some things. Drop things like "for example" and make it sound more neutral and less like you are trying to prove something. Other than that the information in the paragraph is good. Alyssasachs (talk) 18:07, 18 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'm ambivalent about the measurement content. On one hand, I don't think it's completely necessary but if you do keep it, maybe explain what the "Bradford factor" is. The link is nice but it was a tiny bit inconvenient to have to go look at that to understand portion of the text. Otherwise your content, organization, and overall layout look phenomenal! I feel like my group will look to yours as inspiration. Great job! (sorry I put this in your sandbox first!) Tjtilot (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 01:23, 19 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]