User talk:Nna Bankoo
| This user is a student editor in University_of_California,_Berkeley/African_Politics_(Spring_2020) . |
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[edit]Hello, Nna Bankoo, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 17:43, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
Rosemary Yin's Peer Review
[edit]Lead: Could not find a lead.
Structure: I think that the "About the movement" section could branch into two sections: "Historical background" and "Movement organization". In addition, a separate section for "Goals" would make the article more clear.
Balance: the "Court Trial and Bail" was very short, and can probably be merged with another section. Other than that, I thought the balance was fair.
Neutral content: There are many instances of subjective writing in this article. There was an "ONLY" in all caps- should be lowercase to be more neutral. There were also author arguments such as "I would argue that 3 Year Jotna became even stronger" which should be removed. Other non-neutral sentences include: "His argument may sound valid since the constitution of the Gambia said 'a president shall serve 5 year term in office' but ethically, it is questionable", as well as "Even though Darboe may be morally right, since it was Barrow himself who said that he will only serve for three years"; in both instances the author is judging the moral validity of their statement. There were also subjective sentences such as "But President Barrow after tasting the sweetness of power" which frames Pres. Barrow in a certain light. Another example is "The government spokesman Bai Sankareh, hurriedly released a unfitting statement banning the movement". The article is neutral when it states the opinions of other Gambians, but not when it states the author's own opinions.
Sources: The sources seemed neutral- most were independent research groups, one was a news site and the others were official documents such as the Gambian constitution. I think that the article could benefit from having more in-text citations - many paragraphs had lots of facts but only a couple of citations. In-text citations should be at the very end of the sentence, before the punctuation. In addition, I think that adding academic sources could add more depth to the article. There were also links to pages that aren't necessary - for example, there was a link to the wikipedia page for "injuries" but I don't think that is necessary for this article.