User talk:Maryellen.clare/sandbox

Financial Emergency Management in Michigan Peer Review 1

"History" You provide a nice explanation of the different ways in which Emergency management has been utilized in Michigan, as well as how the legislation has evolved, but there was a bit of a disconnect between the timeline of the legislation & the events/utilization of EM as described in this section. It might be clearer to use a layout that is more conducive/akin to a timeline?

I think its great that you added a section on school dissolution, but maybe articulate how it ties to the overall EM legislation and how that is different from city financial management.

The procedure section seems like it is more historical than it is the procedure for acquiring an EM/determining financial distress; is there a way to combine the two sections?

Great work!!Ayoubjes (talk) 02:04, 11 March 2015 (UTC)ayoubjes

Emily's Comments

First off: good work! I am so much better informed now.

As for the overall flow of the page, I might consider combining the Historical and Procedural parts into one timeline, like Jessica suggested. You can keep the "Original Law" paragraph, and go into a timeline from there.

If you want to start with "History" you could focus instead on the historical events that necessitated the creation of an Emergency Financial Plan in the first place, since this isn't discussed elsewhere in the article.

School Dissolution I would put all of the information about schools into one section at the end of timeline. I might also move the sentence about Detroit Schools here. Similarly, with the piece about EMs and school districts. Also, are these EMs different from city managers? And as Jessica mentioned, it's a little unclear what the difference is between the school and city financial management, and what kind of management schools are under currently.

Ayoubjes (talk) 03:10, 11 March 2015 (UTC)eacobbey