User talk:Landon Thomas 23/The Tintic War
Feedback from Dr. Hyde
[edit]You’ve gotten started here. The two key issues, now, are adding more text in general, but also citations to good, scholarly sources.
1) Lay out the structure of your article or the new chunks of an old article with an Introduction and titles for the parts you want to add or rewrite.
I’m not sure how much you will be able to add here – maybe focus on adding new sources and citations and choosing a few of your potential new sections to finish? The trick with this topic is not getting too much into Mormon history and debates over religion. The section called background information seems more like two sections – “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) and Western Settlement and “Utah Indigenous Nations and Their History.” Make sure you put in dates and links to other Native and Mormon communities and earlier battles. You could definitely write a conclusion that explains how this war is worth seeing as its own separate part of the story.
1) Added new, high-quality sources (books, articles, authoritative websites)
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT TASK LEFT: Use the Ronald Walker article to find some books and articles, but look at some books about Mormons and Indians in general: Farmer, Jared, On Zion's Mount Mormons, Indians, and the American Landscape Cambridge, Mass.: Harvard UP, 2010. OU has this online and on the shelf; Jones, Sondra, Being and Becoming Ute: The Story of an American Indian People / Sondra G. Jones. SALT LAKE CITY: UNIV OF UTAH, 2019. Start with those two and look at their indexes and bibliographies for other books and articles.
3)Written 50-60% of what you hope to add
Not much here yet. I can see where you plan to take this, but the key task is finding the details of the military situation in Utah in 1856 and what happens after the Walker War.
4) Thinking about linking as opposed to creating too much background
Here is where you might need to consider how much background people can get from other Wikipedia articles. I think you need more links to other battles, important leaders, Indigenous nations in the region.
5) Started to clean up a few paragraphs
You can decide whether you want to do this on the mainspace or in your sandbox, but the clean up and fixing spelling and writing errors takes a while.
GRADE FOR DRAFT (POINTS) : 65/80