User talk:Jcolls4/sandbox
For the Wiki article Golimumab (Simponi) information regarding the mechanism of action is lacking, and I would like to provide more information regarding safety and the clinical trials for RA.
Peer Review
[edit]Awkward wording of last sentence in first paragraph "reduction of x, y, and z demonstrates XXX as an effective modulator of A and B." Suggest something like "XXX modulates A and B via profound reduction of x,y, and z" or some-such. Another in the line before "it does this...and hence in a TNF inhibitor" --> "it's a TNF inhibitor that does this"
Another wording consideration in last sentence of Uses paragraph. Delete the "either" and consider putting links on "subcutaneous injection" and "intravenous injection" as they are bit too specialized for general knowledge.
I'm also not sold on the whole "clinical trials" Wouldn't these just be uses? Seems like unnecessary information. Also Uveitis section seems comparatively short.
Other than that, some good additions to what looks to be some pretty important information for patients. Again I would focus on fixing wording and adding links to make things accessible to those outside the field. Good citations from what I can tell. GreenMacaw (talk) 19:59, 14 April 2017 (UTC)
In response to the Peer Review done by GreenMacaw:
[edit]I would like to thank GreenMacaw for your comments on my edits of the page.
I agree that some of the wording is a little convoluted. I will work to fix that and link items that are not necessarily general knowledge. The clinical trials subheading was something I did not change from the original article, however I may keep that subheading and add in more information regarding ongoing clinical trials. I may then move the diseases into the uses subheading. Similarly, I will work on finding more information for Uveitis.