User talk:Huginnscientia/Turtle brain evolution

Review of article

Kenneth's review: This is a well-written draft and I like how every statement and definition were backed up with citations or references. It is easy to read and understand. However, I would suggest that more information on areas where the brain of turtle is relates to that of other animals, and how it differs, especially in it's structures and functions. Additionally, in the Evolution section, more information on how the brain of turtle has evolved over the years in it's structure and functions when compared to other animals should be provided. Also, the sentence that started the Reptiles section (Modern reptiles have diverged from mammals from a common amniote ancestor around 320 millions of years ago) should be corrected to: Modern reptiles diverged from mammals from a common ancestor around 320 millions of years ago.

Finally, although the article's topic is on the Evolution of Turtle's brain, the article seemed to focused on comparing the brain of turtle to other mammals and how it evolved when compared with other mammals. It would be great to focus the article on Turtle. Ogwu94 (talk) 03:12, 25 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your comments and suggestions. I will look into how much more I can expand the topics suggested. Unfortunately there isn't a lot of work done exclusively on turtle brain, and generally it is always compared to mammalian brain for reference and relevance, since mammalian brain is the most well known among vertebrates. Huginnscientia (talk) 03:15, 3 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Article draft review -NM

Hello Huginnscientia,

I really liked reading the section on turtle brain anatomy and I can see the effort you put in to summarizing the different regions of the brain. While reading your draft, I did notice a few minor grammatical errors. The first one is to change the word "solemnly" in the second sentence of the first paragraph to "solely" or "exclusively". "Solemnly" means with deep sincerity. The next minor error is to rewrite the following sentence: "differences that led to the conclusion of the neocortex neocortex have been a mammalian novelty." You forgot to capitalize "differences" and you mentioned "neocortex" twice. The last part of the sentence "have been a mammalian novelty." is kind of confusing to read.

The first sentence in the subsection "Reptiles" should be rewritten to something like "Modern reptiles and mammals diverged from a common ancestor around 329 million years ago". You may also want to change (of the brain of reptiles and mammals) to (of the brain in reptiles and mammals). I made the word bold just highlight what I was talking about. I like the picture you added to compare what a lizard brain looks like versus a bird brain (although, I also see a note that you will add a few sentences on other vertebrate brains).

Overall, I think once you make these small adjustments you will have a solid wiki entry. I enjoyed reading your topic. Nica88 (talk) 22:41, 6 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the the corrections and overall review. I have applied all the changes mentioned. I review the Brain page, and it has additional subheadings for other taxa, therefore I decided not to add extra information about other taxa within the Reptile subheading and focus on reptiles. However, it is indeed necessary to complement the page. Huginnscientia (talk) 04:09, 7 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Article Review - TT

Hello - I found these sections extremely interesting. I have read a lot about brains but not much about reptilian brains. I just have a couple of minor suggestions. First, I would change the order of some sentences in the first section, putting your general description of turtle brain anatomy before the comparison of reptiles and mammals. Second, I think these sections could benefit from more "organization" sentences. For example, "There are three different ways of describing the turtle brain anatomically. First, . . . " This kind of sentence can feel dumb to write but can help the reader organize this information hierarchically rather than as disconnected lists. Third, in the first sentence of the third paragraph in the first section ("The medial and dorsomedial cortex . . ."), I think that "dentate gyros" should be "dentate gyrus". Also, the next sentence starts with "it", and it is unclear whether you are referring to the dentate gyrus or the hippocampus. TigerTrash (talk) 23:31, 7 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. Thank you for your suggestions, they definitely helped improving the flow and understanding of the information. I was having trouble finding a way to better organize the anatomical description in a clear way. I really appreciate your input. Thank you.Huginnscientia (talk) 04:12, 7 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]