User talk:Bebelong

This user is a student editor in Wikipedia:Wiki_Ed/University_of_California,_Berkeley/Research_Group_on_Privacy_Literacy_-_Coleman_Lab_(Fall_2017).
Student assignments should always be carried out using a course page set up by the instructor. It is usually best to develop assignments in your sandbox. After evaluation, the additions may go on to become a Wikipedia article or be published in an existing article.

Welcome!

Hello, Bebelong, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Adam and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 21:29, 28 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Peer Review on Connected Toys

Hey, this is cookiestan! Below is my peer review of your Connected Toys draft.

In general, you need to include more citations to your work.
For your first paragraph, I can see places where you can be more concise and effective with your wording like "form of smart toy that can connect" (more active wording would be better)
Make sure to be consistent with upper case and lower case of the information that can be attained from connected toys in the information collection section.
Under privacy related issues, the concerns section, correct grammar is necessary, so a suggested edit would be "people are concerned that children's information is not secured properly".
I would love to see the privacy laws that pertain to the data collection of these toys and any examples of violations of these laws.
I see that you have notes taken for the second half of your section, and I think it would be wonderful to see you expand from the topics that you've chosen and write about them in complete sentences!
Make sure to include peer-reviewed sources for research on your article- I looked up independent.ie, and it seems to be popular media as it is a British online newspaper. If you have more questions about the criteria of reliable sources, Naniette is wonderful to talk to.
In general, it seems like you have a broad idea of the topic, and I can't wait to see what you do with the little examples and details for this topic.
You've done a good job and keep up the good work. Continue to expand and dive deeper into the topic.

Cookiestan (talk) 07:38, 12 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Introductions from Classmates

I have just finished trainings from week 1 and now am trying to practice by saying "hi" on your talk page--Strillonator (talk) 02:41, 18 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Friend! Just following up A4j023e11 (talk) 22:22, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hello there! from ClassybluepowerClassybluepower (talk) 22:25, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hey James! from Yaxin little ball lol RayBall (talk) 22:26, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! from Xkwhvzde (talk) 22:30, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hello!!! -Xicanxchick (talk) 22:28, 22 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

00:05, 23 September 2017 (UTC)

Hi.MooCow1 (talk) 00:08, 23 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]