User talk:Ads695/sandbox
Peer review
[edit]Hi Ashleigh! I'm adding my comments on your work below:
I think you’ve done a great job on your wiki page so far. Your language is suitable for the task and has a neutral tone. Your references seem to be good sources of information as well. I really liked the rewritten lead, you made it easy to follow and the structure makes sense. Also the information you added fits well in the intro. It might not be necessary to add “Wattle seeds” after it is named as Wattleseeds.
In the nutritional fact sheet it would be nice to rearrange the subgroups of fat (mono-, poly-, and saturated + linoleic acid) to be included under
neath Total fat (g). Furthermore, micro g could be changed to μg.
Maybe it is not necessary including two nutritional charts. You could keep one of them (which maybe already is your plan) and instead mention in the text that there are some minor differences in nutritional profiles between ground and whole seeds.
I also added some suggested changes to the last paragraph (marked in bold):
Wattle seeds' nutritional profile make it a complete food source. Per 100 grams, the seeds can contain up to 32% protein, 36% carbohydrates, and 14% lipids, 64% of which being the essential Omega 6 fatty acid (Linoleic acid), and 15% fiber. Mention fiber before lipids – would be a more fluent text [11][12] Ground wattle seeds contain around 54 grams of fiber per 100 grams, making it a low glycemic food and, therefore, is a well-suited for diabetic foods.[5][11] Wattle seeds contain 20 grams of protein per 100 grams. In one way contradictory to what is stated in the first sentence in this paragraph – where it says the seeds could contain up to 32% of protein. Maybe you could write “Wattle seeds contain on average 20 grams of protein per 100 grams” or something similar? [11] They have a 25% greater protein content compared to common grains, like rice and wheat.[4] In addition, they are (remove "are") also have a considerably higher protein content than their legume counterparts, and even rival certain animal proteins.[12][13]
For future writing: would be interested to learn more about the history in Australia. How did the aborigines manage to mill the seeds back then? Were wattleseeds a large part of the aboriginal diet? What was the bush bread made of more than wattle seed? Have wattle seed been adapted to be included in modern diets of aborigines today?
Is the wattleseed naturally grown anywhere else? Or has someone try to grow it in other parts of the world? Maybe these things are difficult to find answers to, but these were questions that popped up while I was reading and thinking about the history aspect. Overall, great work! ☺ --Emmiesoderstrom (talk) 04:57, 14 November 2017 (UTC)Emmie--Emmiesoderstrom (talk) 04:57, 14 November 2017 (UTC)