User talk:Abhurley

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16:01, 30 November 2021 (UTC)

Your massive addition to Climate change in the United States

Especially for people who are relatively new to Wikipedia, it's wisest to pursue a gradualist approach to editing. Huge additions are difficult for other editors to review.

While you cite various academic sources (good idea), much of your text appears to incorporate your own interpretations of what's in the sources rather than closely articulating what the sources actually say. It's too massive an addition for other editors to undertake to be sure the sources are accurately portrayed.
Specifically, "I'm-lecturing-you" sentences such as "This is just one example of an environmental pollutant negatively impacting the livelihood of Native peoples." show a personal bias that violates a basic pillar of this encyclopedia, Wikipedia:Neutral point of view.
Generally, each sentence should have a footnote to a source. Putting a footnote at the end of a multi-sentence paragraph leaves open the possibility that someone will insert a sentence in the middle of the paragraph and thus separate the first part of the paragraph from its source. Not all of your paragraphs follow this advice.
Your addition generally expresses too much detail for a fairly high-level encyclopedia article. If you want to maintain that level of detail, it might conceivably be appropriate for future separate articles, such as Effect of climate change on indigenous Alaskans.

It's possible that another editor might revert your entire addition and make you start from scratch, though I have not done so because of the cited references. However, I hope that you at least shorten your contribution substantially, and make it more concise, objective, true to the sources, and neutral in tone. —RCraig09 (talk) 20:59, 9 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Your contribution has been pared back, per discussion at Talk:Climate change in the United States. —RCraig09 (talk) 13:25, 12 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]