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User:Shock Brigade Harvester Boris/On Wikipedia

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BJ: Hopalong Ferret Face just shot me in the leg.
Frank: Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Major Houlihan
Col. Potter: I see. So naturally, you shot Captain Hunnicutt.
Radar: [giggles]
Frank: Well, what's so funny, Corporal?
Radar: Sorry, Sir
Col. Potter: Don't blame the boy, Burns. He knows a good joke when he sees one.

On Arbcom

[edit]
Louise: [out of breath] He's dead, Chance! The Old Man's dead!
Chance: [flatly, turns back to TV] ...I see.
Louise: Must of happened durin' the night, I don't know...Lord, he wasn't breathin' and as cold as a fish. I touched him, just to see, and you believe me, Chance - that's doin' more than I get paid to do... Then I just cover him up, pulled the sheet over his head...
Chance: [nodding] Yes. I've seen that done.
Louise: ...Then I get the hell out of that room and call the doctor and I think I woke him probably, he wasn't any too alert. He just said, 'Yeah, he's been expectin' it and said he'd send somebody over...' Lord, what a mornin'!
Chance: [watches news flashes of season's first snowfall] ...Yes, Lousie, it's snowing in the garden today. Have you looked outside and seen the snow? It's very white.
[A beat of silence from Louise, then anger.]
Louise: Gobbledegook! Dammit, Boy! Is that all you got to say? More gobbledegook?
[Chance smiles, is silent]
Louise: That Old Man's layin' up there dead as hell and it just don't make any difference to you!
[Lousie takes a long look at Chance, then softens, sits next to him.]
Louise: Oh, Lord, Chance - I don't know what I was expectin' from you... I'm sorry for yellin' like I did... No sir, I just don't know what I was expectin'...
[Chance doesn't react, watches TV]
Louise: ...I 'spose I'd better gather up some breakfast for you...
Chance: [finally turns to Louise] Yes, I'm very hungry.

On canvassing

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Rick: How can you close me up? On what grounds?
Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!
Croupier: [hands Renault a pile of money] Your winnings, sir.
Captain Renault: [sotto voce] Oh, thank you very much. [aloud] Everybody out at once!