User:Kinkyturnip

Kinkyturnip

— Wikipedian ♂ —
Name	Tony Logan
Born	June 19, 1964 Chillicothe, Ohio, United States
Current location	San Francisco, California
Education and employment
Occupation	Writer/social observer
High school	Unioto High School
College	Ohio University
Hobbies, favourites and beliefs
Religion	I blame God
Politics	More Vesper Lynd, less Paul Lynde

A turnip cannot be coaxed, squeezed, or cajoled into producing blood. All efforts at obtaining blood from this vegetable will be futile, unless of course it is a vampire turnip.

Names of stand-alone US cities, list of which is well-nigh impossible to find in WP's Manual of Style:

• Atlanta
• Baltimore
• Boston
• Chicago
• Cincinnati
• Cleveland
• Dallas
• Denver
• Detroit
• Honolulu
• Houston
• Indianapolis
• Las Vegas
• Los Angeles
• Miami
• Milwaukee
• Minneapolis
• New Orleans
• New York
• Oklahoma City
• Philadelphia
• Phoenix
• Pittsburg
• St. Louis
• Salt Lake City
• San Antonio
• San Diego
• San Francisco
• Washington

Editors do not need to add the name of the state after these cities. Why is this information not easier to find on Wikipedia? Copyediting is already hard enough; please don't make it even harder.

Favorite Wikipedia notification: "Your edit on Anal sex was reverted."

Editing These Entries Nearly Induced Insanity/Suicide:

• The Guess Who
• Rice Krispies
• Howling III (one of the worst films—and plot summaries—I've ever seen)

Musings From An Old-school, Cranky-pants Writer:

• When you start nearly every sentence or paragraph in an article with a date, it's akin to taking minutes at a meeting — and just as dull. This format is called proseline, which tranquilizes readers and irks other editors (to the point of insanity). If you lack writing skills, consider another career as a politician or accountant so you can bore people to death in a completely different way.

• Editing Wikipedia alone during a pandemic leads to isolation, crankiness and overconsumption of caffeine. If you bristle at picky editors' changes, please remember most of us labor under the delusion that everyone shares our love of language and proper grammar — and getting the damn details right so WP doesn't deteriorate into an embarrassing site of poorly written trivia.

Kinkyturnip's Copyediting Tutorial:

• 1. Read this run-on sentence from article on Bugs Bunny:

Bugs was used to advertise World War II because they were low on troops so they found out the most athletic adults watched Bugs Bunny so they used that to attract them into the war so they could fight.

• 2. Now compare the run-on sentence with this line from The Simpsons episode "King Size Homer":

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.

In both cases, one word (i.e., so and restaurant, respectively) is overused to comical effect (intentionally in The Simpsons, unintentionally in the Wikipedia article—at least I hope so.)

The line from The Simpsons is spoken by Ralph Wiggum, an eight-year-old child. Unless second graders are editing Wikipedia, I suggest running edits by someone proficient in reading and writing the English language.

Or else Wikipedia can change its motto to: The encyclopedia that anyone can edit—but probably shouldn't.

Favorite Film Quote: May I suggest Mr. Ray's Wig World? 🎥

Chick-fil-A is a North American restaurant chain with locations in 47 U.S. states. Chick-fil-A also operates Chick-fil-A locations in Hawaii Chick-fil-A and the U.S. Chick-fil-A territory of Puerto Chick-fil-A Rico, as well as several Chick-fil-A locations throughout Chick-fil-A Canada and Transylvania Chick-fil-A.

there he labors less for people's affection and acceptance than "to persuade them to do what he wants", with the film bearing "witness [to] his scams."

a "sociopathic narcissist" https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/savannah-film-fest-red-rocket-simon-rex-1235039198/

In an unspecified future,[b] space adventurer Barbarella is sent by the Earth's president to retrieve Durand Durand from the Tau Ceti planetary system. Durand is the inventor of a laser-powered weapon, the positronic ray, which Earth leaders fear will cause mass destruction. Barbarella crash-lands on Tau Ceti's 16th planet[c] and is knocked unconscious by two children. They bring her to the wreckage of a spaceship, where they bind and attack her using mechanical dolls with razor-sharp teeth. Barbarella is rescued by Mark Hand, the Catchman who patrols the ice looking for errant children. Hand tells her that Durand is in the city of Sogo and offers her a ride to her ship in his ice boat. When Barbarella offers to repay him, Hand asks her to make love to him. Barbarella is confused, since Earthlings no longer have intimate physical relations; instead they take pillows "until full rapport is achieved." Hand suggests having sex in his bed instead. Barbarella relents and enjoys it but admits that she understands why sex is considered primitive and distracting on Earth.

Barbarella leaves the planet and crashes into a labyrinth inhabited by outcasts exiled from Sogo. She is found by Pygar, a blind angel who has lost the will to fly. Pygar introduces her to Professor Ping, who offers to repair her ship. Pygar flies Barbarella to Sogo after she restores his will to fly by having sex with him. Pygar and Barbarella are captured by Sogo's Black Queen and her concierge. The concierge describes the Mathmos:[12] living energy in liquid form, powered by evil thoughts and used as an energy source in Sogo, which sits atop it. Pygar endures a mock crucifixion and Barbarella is placed in a cage, where hundreds of birds prepare to attack her. She is rescued by Dildano, leader of the local underground, who joins in her pursuit of Durand. Dildano gives her an invisible key to the Black Queen's chamber of dreams, where she sleeps.

After returning to Sogo, Barbarella is promptly recaptured by the concierge. He places her in a machine which induces fatal sexual pleasure. She outlasts the machine and causes it to go haywire. The concierge, shocked at its destruction, reveal himself as Durand Durand. Barbarella is surprised since he is only 25 years old but has aged tremendously&mash;a side-effect of the Mathmos. Durand wants to overthrow the Black Queen and become Sogo's new leader, which requires using his positronic ray and gaining access to the Queen's chamber of dreams. Durand takes Barbarella to the chamber and locks her inside with the invisible key. She sees the Queen, who warns that if two people are in the chamber, the Mathmos will devour them. Durand seizes control of Sogo as Dildano and his rebels begin their attack on the city. The Black Queen retaliates by releasing the Mathmos to destroy Sogo. Protected by what the Black Queen calls Barbarella's innocence, they escape the Mathmos and find Pygar. He angel clutches them in his arms and flies off. When Barbarella asks Pygar why he saved a tyrant, he tells her that an angel has no memory of the past.

Plot

Five dogs and their owners, trainers and handlers travel to Philadelphia to compete in the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show.

Gerry and Cookie Fleck are a middle-class couple from Florida who arrive at the Taft Hotel with their terrier Winky. After having forgotten to pay their credit card bill and short of cash, they are forced to sleep in the hotel's storage room. While traveling to the show, they encounter several of Cookie’s former lovers who kiss her passionately and try to seduce her, making Gerry jealous. To Gerry's chagrin, they still cross paths with Cookie's paramours after the show ends.

Meg and Hamilton Swan, a stereotypical yuppie couple from a Chicago suburb, arrive with their Weimaraner Beatrice. Their constant doting and neurotic behavior confuses and upsets Beatrice. Earlier they take Beatrice to a psychotherapist after she sees them having sex in a position they learned from the Kama Sutra. Before the show, the Swans lose Beatrice's favorite toy and fear she will become unhinged. They frantically search for a replacement toy before the show starts, but are unable to find one. When Beatrice performs poorly and is removed by a judge for unruly behavior, they blame it on the lost toy. Later they replace Beatrice with another dog.

Harlan Pepper, the Southern owner of a fishing goods store and an aspiring ventriloquist, arrives with his Bloodhound Hubert. Harlan is an affable, good-natured man who prides himself on being able to name every type of nut. The Pepper family has raised a variety of hounds for generations; Harlan continues the tradition by raising Bloodhounds.

Sherri Ann Cabot is the plump, buxom, overly-made-up trophy wife of the elderly Leslie Ward Cabot, her sugar daddy. A former two-time winner of the show, Sherri Ann receives help with her Standard Poodle Rhapsody in White, also known as Butch, from her taskmaster trainer Christy Cummings. Christy is an extremely competitive handler who makes sure the dog is prepared for the show. A no-nonsense, short-haired lesbian, she resists Sherri Ann's attempts at giving her a beauty makeover. Leslie is oblivious to Christy and Sherri Ann's romantic involvement — as well as everything else happening around him.

Scott Donlan and Stefan Vanderhoof are a campy gay couple who take great pride in their Shih Tzu Miss Agnes. They are confident that she will win the competition. They share a love of old movies and enjoy making fun of Christy Cummings, but are friendly to the other competitors, especially the Flecks.

The dog show is hosted by dog expert Trevor Beckwith and oblivious "color" commentator Buck Laughlin, whose inane banter annoys Beckwith. During the first round, Beatrice is disqualified when she becomes aggressive and Hamilton cannot control her. The other four dogs advance to the final round. Just before the finals, Cookie dislocates her knee and insists that Gerry take over for her despite his two left feet (the result of a birth defect). Though Gerry is nervous, Winky ultimately takes Best in Show.

After the competition, Gerry and Cookie return home to Florida and enjoy brief fame there. While in a studio recording novelty songs about terriers, they discover that the recording engineer is yet another of Cookie's ex-lovers, to Gerry's unending frustration. Christy and Sherri Ann publish American Bitch, a magazine for lesbian owners of purebred dogs. After spending weeks on a kibbutz, Harlan fulfills his dream of being a ventriloquist, entertaining sparse crowds with a honky tonk song-and-dance number. Stefan and Scott design a calendar featuring Shih Tzu dogs in costume appearing in scenes from classic films such as Casablanca and Gone with the Wind. Meg and Hamilton Swan replace Beatrice with a pug named Kipper, which they claim enjoys watching them make love.

Plot

Five dogs and their owners, trainers and handlers travel to Philadelphia to compete in the Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show.

Gerry and Cookie Fleck are a middle-class couple from Florida who arrive at the Taft Hotel with their terrier Winky. After having forgotten to pay their credit card bill and short of cash, they are forced to sleep in the hotel's storage room. While traveling to the show, they encounter several of Cookie’s former lovers who kiss her passionately and try to seduce her, provoking Gerry’s jealousy. To Gerry's chagrin, they still cross paths with Cookie's paramours after the show ends.

Meg and Hamilton Swan, a stereotypical yuppie couple from a Chicago suburb, arrive with their Weimaraner Beatrice. Their constant doting and neurotic behavior confuses and upsets Beatrice. Earlier they take Beatrice to a psychotherapist after she sees them having sex in a position they learned from the Kama Sutra. Before the show, the Swans lose Beatrice's favorite toy and fear she will become unhinged. They frantically search for a replacement toy before the show starts, but are unable to find one. When Beatrice performs poorly and is removed by a judge for unruly behavior, they blame it on the lost toy. Later they replace Beatrice with another dog.

Harlan Pepper, the Southern owner of a fishing goods store and an aspiring ventriloquist, arrives with his Bloodhound Hubert. Harlan is an affable, good-natured man who prides himself on being able to name every type of nut. The Pepper family has raised a variety of hounds for generations; Harlan continues the tradition by raising Bloodhounds.

Sherri Ann Cabot is a plump, buxom, overly-made-up trophy wife to the elderly Leslie Ward Cabot, her sugar daddy. A former two-time winner of the show, Sherri Ann receives help with her Standard Poodle Rhapsody in White, also known as Butch, from her taskmaster trainer Christy Cummings. Christy is an extremely competitive handler who makes sure the dog is prepared for the show. A no-nonsense, short-haired lesbian, she resists Sherri Ann's attempts at giving her a beauty makeover. Leslie is oblivious to Christy and Sherri Ann's romantic involvement — as well as everything else happening around him.

Scott Donlan and Stefan Vanderhoof are a campy gay couple who take great pride in their Shih Tzu Miss Agnes. They are confident that she will win the competition. They share a love of old movies and enjoy making fun of Christy Cummings, but are friendly to the other competitors, especially the Flecks.

The dog show is hosted by dog expert Trevor Beckwith and oblivious "color" commentator Buck Laughlin, whose inane banter annoys Beckwith. During the first round, Beatrice is disqualified when she becomes aggressive and Hamilton cannot control her. The other four dogs advance to the final round. Just before the finals, Cookie dislocates her knee and insists that Gerry take over for her despite his two left feet (the result of a birth defect). Though Gerry is nervous, Winky ultimately takes Best in Show.

After the competition, Gerry and Cookie return home to Florida and enjoy brief fame there. While in a studio recording novelty songs about terriers, they discover that the recording engineer is yet another of Cookie's ex-lovers, to Gerry's unending frustration. Sherri Ann and Christy publish American Bitch, a magazine for lesbian owners of purebred dogs. After spending weeks on a kibbutz, Harlan fulfills his dream of being a ventriloquist, entertaining sparse crowds with a honky tonk song-and-dance number. Stefan and Scott design a calendar featuring Shih Tzu dogs in costume appearing in scenes from famous classic films such as Gone with the Wind and Casablanca. Meg and Hamilton Swan replace Beatrice with a pug named Kipper, which they claim enjoys watching them make love.

Plot

Mikey Saber returns to Texas City, his Gulf Coast hometown, after 17 years. Badly bruised and almost broke, he arrives at the modest home shared by Lexi, his estranged wife, and her mother Lil. Mikey begs Lexi and Lil to let him stay at their house, but they insist that he get a job and perform household chores.

The handsome and fast-talking Mikey tries to land work at a local diner and a Dollar General store, but is hindered by a nearly twenty-year gap in his résumé. After he admits to potential employers that he spent those years working as a porn star in Los Angeles, they refuse to hire him. Desperate, Mikey persuades Leondria, a marijuana dealer, to give him his old job back selling pot. Leondria and her daughter, June, suspect that Mikey will smoke the weed himself, but after he returns with his earnings their business arrangement continues.

Mikey gives Lexi and Lil a month's rent in advance and takes them to a donut shop to celebrate. He is smitten with Strawberry, an attractive 17-year-old girl who works at the counter. He regularly returns to the donut shop and persuades Strawberry to let him sell pot to the construction workers who frequent the shop. Strawberry and Mikey soon start a sexual relationship.

After sleeping on the couch for several nights, Mikey starts having sex with Lexi. Eventually she invites him to share her bedroom. When Mikey disappears for a weekend with Strawberry, Lexi grows suspicious and jealous. They quarrel and Lexi hurls a coffee pot which narrowly misses Mikey's head.

Mikey becomes friends with Lexi's neighbor, Lonnie, who is intrigued by Mikey's tall tales about his porn career and sexual encounters. They visit a strip club and spend time together, but Mikey's impulsiveness causes Lonnie to swerve across traffic at a highway off-ramp, creating a massive vehicle pile-up. After Mikey persuades Lonnie to hide his involvement in the accident, Lonnie assumes sole responsibility for the crash when he is arrested.

When Mikey causes Strawberry to break up with Nash, her high-school boyfriend, Nash and his parents confront Mikey in the donut shop parking lot and beat him. Mikey persuades Strawberry to travel with him to Los Angeles to pursue a career in adult films.

After Mikey informs Lexi that he is leaving the next morning, she and Lil convince Leondria to send June and her brothers to confiscate the $3,000 that Mikey earned from selling pot. When Leondria's children confront him while he is sleeping, Mikey sneaks out a bedroom window naked and runs to Leondria's house to beg her to return his money. She gives him $200 and tells him to leave or face the threat of violence. Humiliated and nearly broke again, Mikey leaves with a few meager possessions. After travelling all night on foot to Strawberry’s house, Mikey imagines seeing her dressed in a red bikini in her front doorway and his eyes well with tears.

Plot

Mary, Ruth and Vivian—three women who went to the same elementary school—meet again as young adults. They each light a cigarette from the same match and discuss the superstition that Vivian, the last to light her cigarette, will be the first to die.

After spending time in reform school for grand larceny as a teenager, Mary is now a showgirl. Ruth works as a stenographer. Vivian is married to successful lawyer Robert Kirkwood, with whom she has a young son, Junior. Vivian grows dissatisfied with her life and tells Ruth and Mary that achieving her goals leaves her unfulfilled. Just as Vivian is about to leave on an ocean cruise with her son, Mary arrives with two men headed to a party aboard the ship before it sails. One of the two men, gambler Michael Loftus, flirts with Vivian and persuades her to disembark with Junior and run away with him.

Vivian and Michael's relationship is marred by gambling and drug addiction. Worried about Vivian's neglect of Junior, Mary tells Robert where to find his son. Robert proposes marriage to Mary and hires Ruth to look after the child. On the same day that Robert's divorce from Vivian is final, he weds Mary.

Vivian's money runs out. Michael owes almost $2,000 in gambling debts to a gangster, Ace, who threatens him with violence to collect. Desperate, Michael tries to blackmail Robert by threatening to inform the press about Mary's criminal background. Since Robert is already aware of Mary's checkered past, he threatens Michael with legal action and demands he leave his office.

Vivian is surprised when Michael kidnaps Junior and brings him to their apartment. Ace hears the police report of Junior's kidnapping on his shortwave radio. Hoping to extort a large ransom from Robert, he sends his henchman to the apartment to hold Michael, Vivian and Junior hostage. Harve, one of Ace's minions, is unable to collect the ransom because police have staked out its location. He is also unable to procure drugs for Vivian, who is desperate for a fix.

Harve pressures Michael to kill Junior, hoping his murder will distract the police and allow the gangsters to escape and seize the ransom. When he refuses, the gangsters knock him unconscious. Vivian overhears the men's scheme and ensuing scuffle but is unable to escape since they nailed her bedroom window shut. When she hears police sirens nearby, Vivian scrawls a message in lipstick on her nightgown and throws herself through the window of the fourth-floor apartment, leading to Junior's rescue. Vivian dies and Junior is reunited with his father.

Plot

Lora Hart applies for a job as a nurse trainee but is rejected when the hospital's superintendent of nurses, Miss Dillon, learns she does not have a high school diploma. After a chance encounter with the hospital's chief of staff, Dr. Arthur Bell, Hart charms him and he persuades Dillon to hire her.

Lora and Miss Maloney, a fellow nurse, become roommates and best friends. After they violate curfew, Miss Dillon assigns them night duty in the emergency room. When Lora treats a bootlegger named Mortie for a gunshot wound, he persuades her to not report the wound to the police as required by law. He makes romantic gestures to Lora but she resists them at first.

After she passes her training, Lora is hired as a private nurse for two sick children, Desney and Nanny Ritchey. She moves into the Ritchey mansion, site of frequent parties. Mrs. Ritchey, the children's socialite mother, lives in an alcoholic stupor and is infatuated with her brutish chauffeur Nick. When a drunken guest tries to molest Lora, Nick knocks him out. After Mrs. Ritchey gets soused, Nick demands that Lora pump her stomach; when she refuses, he knocks her unconcious with a telephone receiver.

The Ritchey family physician is "society doctor" and drug addict Milton Ranger. Lora is alarmed by Dr. Ranger's treatment of the children after she sees that they are slowly starving to death. When she is unable to persuade anyone to take her seriously, she quits and tells Dr. Bell of her suspicions. At first he is reluctant to interfere with another doctor's patients, but eventually he advises her to return to her job to gather evidence of the children's mistreatment.

Nanny Ritchey becomes so weak that Lora fears she will die. Lora is unable to get Mrs. Ritchey to show any concern. When Mortie delivers liquor to the perpetual party at the mansion, Lora sends him to get milk. He robs a Jewish delicatessen to allow Lora to give Nanny a milk bath, a folk remedy recommended by Mrs. Maxwell, the frightened housekeeper.

Maxwell gets drunk and confides her suspicions to Lora. Nanny and Desney have a trust fund from their late father. Nick killed their sister with his car; with Dr. Ranger's help, he is deliberately starving the girls to death. When they die, the trust fund will pass to Mrs. Ritchey and Nick will marry her for the money.

After being threatened by Mortie, Dr. Bell arrives at the mansion to examine Nanny. When he tries to take her to the hospital, Nick knocks him out. Mortie stops Nick from interfering further and Nanny's life is saved when Lora gives her a blood transfusion.

The next day, Mortie gives Lora a lift in his car. When they pass several police cars, Mortie tells Lora that Nick will not be arrested because he told his criminal associates of his dislike for him. An ambulance delivers a corpse dressed in a chauffeur's uniform to the hospital's morgue.

Plot

Soviet and Chinese soldiers capture a U.S. Army platoon during the Korean War and take the men to Manchuria in communist China. Three days later, Sergeant Raymond Shaw and Captain Bennett Marco return to UN lines. Upon Marco's recommendation, Shaw is awarded the Medal of Honor for saving his soldiers' lives in combat, though two men are killed in action. Shaw returns to the United States, where his heroism is exploited by his cut-throat mother, Eleanor Iselin, to further the career of her husband, Senator John Iselin. When asked to describe him, Marco and the other soldiers robotically respond, "Raymond Shaw is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life." In fact, Shaw is a cold, sad, unsympathetic loner.

After Marco is promoted to major and assigned to Army Intelligence, he has a recurring nightmare: a hypnotized Shaw blithely murders the two soldiers from his own platoon before an assembly of communist military leaders to demonstrate their revolutionary brainwashing technique. Marco learns that another soldier from the platoon, Alan Melvin, has the same nightmare. When he and Melvin separately identify photos of the same two men from their dreams—leading figures in communist governments—Army Intelligence agrees to help Marco investigate.

Shaw (Harvey, left) with Major Marco (Sinatra) after having jumped into a lake in New York City's Central Park when his programming was accidentally triggered

During captivity, Shaw was programmed as a sleeper agent who blindly obeys orders to kill without any memory of his crimes. His battle heroism was a false memory implanted during the platoon's brainwashing. Agents trigger Shaw by suggesting he play solitaire; the queen of diamonds activates him. Eleanor masterminds the ascent of John, a McCarthy-like demagogue who makes baseless claims that communists work within the Department of Defense. Shaw repudiates his mother and stepfather by taking a job at a newspaper published by their rival Holborn Gaines. Communist agents have Shaw murder Gaines to confirm that his brainwashing still works.

Chunjin, a Korean agent who posed as a guide for Shaw's platoon, infiltrates his apartment as a valet and butler. After Marco recognizes Chunjin when he visits Shaw's apartment, he violently attacks him and demands to know what really happened during the platoon's captivity. When Marco is arrested for assault, Eugenie Cheyney, a woman he met on a train, posts his bail and breaks her engagement to date him.

Shaw rekindles a romance with Jocelyn Jordan, the daughter of liberal Senator Thomas Jordan, the Iselins' chief political foe. Eleanor arranges their reunion to garner Senator Jordan's support for John's vice presidential bid. Unswayed, Jordan insists he will block Iselin's attempts to seek the party's nomination. After Jocelyn inadvertently triggers Shaw's programming by wearing a queen of diamonds costume at a party for her thrown by the Iselins, they elope. Furious at Senator Jordan's rebuff, Eleanor—who perversely is Shaw's American handler— sends him to kill Jordan at his home. Shaw also kills Jocelyn when she stumbles upon the murder scene. Afterwards, Shaw has no memory of killing the Jordans and is grief-stricken when he learns they are dead.

After discovering the card's role in Shaw's conditioning, Marco uses a forced deck to deprogram him, hoping he will reveal his next assignment. Eleanor primes Shaw to assassinate their party's presidential nominee at the height of its convention so that Senator Iselin, as the vice-presidential candidate, will become the nominee by default. In the uproar, he will seek emergency powers to establish a strict authoritarian regime. Eleanor tells Shaw that she requested a programmed assassin, never knowing it would be her own son. She vows to exact revenge on the communists for selecting him.

Shaw enters Madison Square Garden disguised as a priest and takes up a sniper's position in an empty spotlight booth high above. Marco and his supervisor, Colonel Milt, race to the convention to stop him. At the last moment Shaw aims away from the presidential nominee and kills Eleanor and Senator Iselin instead. When Marco arrives at the booth, Shaw tells him that the Army could not have stopped the Iselins before fatally shooting himself. Later Marco and Eugenie privately mourn Shaw's death.

Plot

A woman posing as Evelyn Mulwray hires private investigator J.J. "Jake" Gittes to trail her husband Hollis under the ruse that she suspects him of infidelity. After Gittes photographs Hollis in the company of a young woman, the pictures appear in the Los Angeles Times with a story exposing their supposed "love nest." Gittes is confronted by the real Evelyn Mulwray, who threatens to sue him after her imposter used him to discredit Hollis, chief engineer at the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power.

Gittes visits a reservoir where he sees his former colleague, LAPD Lieutenant Lou Escobar, as Hollis's dead body is dragged from the water. Evelyn officially hires Gittes to investigate Hollis's death as a homicide. He finds that huge quantities of water are being released from the reservoir every night, despite a drought. He is warned off by Water Department Security Chief Claude Mulvihill and is attacked by his henchman, who deeply cuts Gittes' nose with a switchblade. The next morning, Gittes receives a call from Ida Sessions, the woman who posed as Evelyn Mulwray. She tells him to check that day's obituaries.

Gittes discovers that much of the Northwest Valley has recently changed ownership. He visits an orange grove in the valley, where he is attacked by landowners who believe him to be an agent of the Water Department. He finds the department is sabotaging the water supply to force farmers off their land so it can be bought at a cheap price. He suspects Hollis was murdered when he uncovered the plan.

Some Northwest Valley property was seemingly purchased by a recently deceased retirement-home resident. Jake and Evelyn bluff their way into the home and confirm that other real estate deals were closed in the names of unknowing residents, with one former resident's name appearing in the previous day's obituaries. Their visit is interrupted by the suspicious director, who calls Mulvihill to confront Gittes.

After escaping Mulvihill and his thugs, Jake and Evelyn hide at her house, where they sleep together. Evelyn receives a phone call during the night and leaves. Gittes follows her to a house and sees her comforting the missing girl. A furious Gittes accuses Evelyn of holding the woman hostage, but she claims the woman is her sister, Katherine.

The next day, an anonymous call draws Gittes to Ida's apartment, where he finds her body. Escobar, who is waiting there, tells Gittes he knows that Ida hired him to follow Hollis and accuses him of extorting Evelyn to keep him from revealing that she is the real murderer. He adds that saltwater was found in Hollis's lungs, indicating that he did not drown in the freshwater reservoir where his body was found. Escobar tells Gittes to produce Evelyn quickly. At the Mulwray mansion, Gittes finds Evelyn gone and the servants packing up the house. He finds a pair of eyeglasses in the saltwater garden pond.

Gittes confronts Evelyn about Katherine, who she now claims is her daughter. Frustrated by her seeming dishonesty, Gittes repeatedly hits her. Evelyn breaks down sobbing and reveals that Katherine is both her sister and her daughter; Cross raped her when she was 15. She tells Gittes that the eyeglasses he found in the pond at her mansion are not Hollis's, since he did not wear bifocals.

Gittes arranges for Evelyn and Katherine to flee to Mexico and instructs Evelyn to meet him at her butler's home in Chinatown. He summons Cross to the Mulwray mansion to settle their deal. Cross reveals that he plans to incorporate the Northwest Valley into the City of Los Angeles, then irrigate and develop it with funds from a sham ballot measure that L.A. residents are misled to believe will bring them more water. Gittes realizes the bifocals are Cross's and accuses him of murdering Hollis. Cross has Mulvihill retrieve the glasses from Gittes at gunpoint.

Gittes is forced to drive Cross and Mulvihill to Chinatown, where Evelyn awaits. The police are there and detain Gittes. Cross advances on Katherine as she gets into Evelyn's car, identifies himself as her grandfather, and attempts to take her away. Desperate to escape her abusive father, Evelyn shoots him in the arm. The police open fire on Evelyn as she drives away with Katherine, killing her. Cross clutches a screaming Katherine and leads her away, while Escobar orders the traumatized Gittes released. As he is led away by his associates, one of them urges him to "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown."

Plot

Tony Wendice, an English retired champion tennis player, is married to wealthy socialite Margot. After Tony's retirement, he discovers Margot had an affair with American crime-fiction writer Mark Halliday. He plots to murder his unfaithful wife, both for revenge and to ensure that her money will continue to fund his comfortable lifestyle.

Tony invites an old acquaintance from the University of Cambridge, Charles Alexander Swann, to his London flat. Aware that Swann is a small-time criminal with several aliases, Tony has been secretly following him so he can blackmail him into murdering Margot. Tony tells Swann about Margot's affair. Six months ago, Tony stole her handbag — which contained a love letter from Mark — and anonymously sent her a blackmail note. After tricking Swann into leaving his fingerprints on the letter, Tony offers to pay him £1,000 to kill Margot; if Swann refuses, Tony will turn him into the police as Margot's blackmailer. If he were to deny Tony's accusation, Swann's credibility would be hurt by his criminal past, including the death of a woman from narcotics he gave her.

After Swann agrees, Tony explains his plan: he will go to a bachelor party with Mark the next night, leaving Margot at home alone. Tony will hide Margot's latchkey under the carpet of the staircase facing the front door of their flat. Swann will sneak in while Margot is asleep and hide behind the curtains covering the French doors to the garden. At eleven o'clock, Tony will telephone the flat from the party. Swann must strangle Margot when she answers the phone, open the French doors, leave signs to trick the police into believing that a burglary had gone wrong, and exit through the front door before hiding the key under the stair carpet again.

The next night, Swann enters the flat while Margot is asleep. At the party, Tony discovers that his watch has stopped, so he phones the flat three minutes later than intended. When Margot comes to the phone, Swann tries to strangle her with his scarf, but she manages to grab a pair of scissors and stab him fatally in the back. She picks up the telephone receiver and pleads for help. Tony tells her not to touch anything until he arrives home. When he returns to the flat, he calls the police and sends Margot to bed. Before the police arrive, Tony moves what he thinks is Margot's latchkey from Swann's pocket to her handbag, plants Mark's letter on Swann, and destroys Swann's scarf, replacing it with Margot's own stocking in an attempt to incriminate her.

The next day, Tony persuades Margot to hide the fact that he told her not to call the police immediately after Swann's death. When Chief Inspector Hubbard arrives and questions the Wendices, Margot makes several conflicting statements. When Hubbard says Swann must have entered through the front door, Tony falsely claims to have seen Swann when Margot's handbag was stolen and suggests that he copied her key. Hubbard does not believe this because no key was found on Swann's body upon inspection. Hubbard arrests Margot after concluding that she killed Swann for blackmailing her. Margot is found guilty of murder and sentenced to death.

On the day before Margot's scheduled execution, Mark visits Tony, saying he has devised a story for Tony to tell the police to save Margot's life. To Tony's consternation, Mark's "story" is very close to what actually happened: Tony bribed Swann to murder Margot. Tony says the story is unbelievable and will not fool the police. Mark hides in the bedroom when Hubbard arrives unexpectedly. He questions Tony about large sums of cash he has been spending, tricks him into revealing that his latchkey is in his raincoat, and inquires about his attaché case. Tony claims to have lost the case, but Mark finds it lying on the bed full of banknotes. Deducing that the money was Tony's intended payoff to Swann, Mark explains his theory to Hubbard. Tony lies that the cash was Margot's blackmail payment to Swann, which he had concealed to hide her guilt. Hubbard appears to accept Tony's explanation over Mark's theory, and Mark angrily leaves. Hubbard discreetly swaps his own raincoat with Tony's. As soon as Tony leaves, Hubbard uses Tony's key to re-enter the flat, followed by Mark. Hubbard had already discovered that the key in Margot's handbag was Swann's own latchkey and deduced that Swann had put the Wendices' key back in its hiding place after unlocking the door.

Hubbard develops an elaborate ruse to confirm his suspicion that Tony conspired with Swann to murder Margot. Plainclothes police officers bring Margot from prison to the flat. She tries unsuccessfully to unlock the door with the key in her handbag, then enters through the garden, proving her innocence since she is unaware of the hidden key. Hubbard has Margot's handbag returned to the police station, where Tony retrieves it after discovering that he has no key. The key from Margot's bag does not work, so he uses the hidden key to open the door, proving his guilt. With his escape routes blocked by Hubbard and another policeman, Tony calmly makes himself a drink and congratulates Hubbard as Hubbard makes a phone call (most likely to the home secretary to call off the execution of Margot).

Reception

When The Blob premiered as the B film on a double feature with I Married a Monster from Outer Space, it was quickly moved up to be the main feature. Audiences liked it, but critics were not as kind. The New York Times highlighted some of its problems and identified some positives, although Steve McQueen's debut was not one of them. On director Irvin Yeaworth's work, they wrote:

"Unfortunately, his picture talks itself to death, even with the blob nibbling away at everybody in sight. And most of his trick effects, under the direction of Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr., look pretty phony. On the credit side, the camera very snugly frames the small town background—a store, a church spire, several homes and a theatre. The color is quite good (the blob rolls around in at least a dozen horrible-looking flavors, including raspberry). The acting is pretty terrible itself, there is not a single becomingly familiar face in the cast, headed by young Steven McQueen and Aneta Corseaut".

Variety had a similar reaction, seeing McQueen as the star, gamely "giving the old college try" but that the "... star performers, however, are the De Luxe color camerawork of Thomas Spalding and Barton Sloane’s special effects".

In a discussion with biologist Richard Dawkins, astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson stated that among all Hollywood aliens, which were usually disappointing, The Blob was his favorite from a scientific perspective.

The film review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a 66% approval rating based on 32 reviews, with an average rating of 6.27/10. The website's critical consensus reads, "In spite of its chortle-worthy premise and dated special effects, The Blob remains a prime example of how satisfying cheesy B-movie monster thrills can be".