User:Jalapenos do exist

Name: I am impelled to remind the public that jalapenos do, in fact, exist, despite what the Anti-Jalapeno Conspiracy would have us all believe. The fact that there is no Wikipedia article on this conspiracy is proof of the conspiracy's all-powerful influence.

Views on the world: generally I am in favor of good and opposed to evil.

Views on Wikipedia: I am a wikicynic. Once the soapboxing and trolling are discarded, 30%-70% of the discourse here is bullshit, namely, speech intended not to express one's opinions and motivations but to cloak or decorate them. This is a somewhat higher figure than what I encounter in real life, but then I may live in a bubble.

Views on userpages: I have nothing against userboxes. Some of my best friends are userboxes. I just don't want them hanging around my userpage, that's all.

My behavior: I try not to be an asshole toward people who are not themselves assholes. If you are not an asshole and I have been an asshole toward you, you either caught me on a bad day, in which case I sincerely apologize, or you actually are an asshole but don't know it yet. Or, I'm an asshole and don't know it yet, in which case-- well, sorry.

About me: I am an adult and have been so for some years now, though this is disputed.
- Things I hate: people who say "the Wikipedia".

		The Modest Barnstar
		For a great edit on the Netherlands section in Antisemitic incidents during the 2008–2009 Israel–Gaza conflict. Naked statements are bad, complete context and information are better. --Cerejota (talk) 04:39, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

		The April Fool's Barnstar
		For restoring my faith in human intelligence. --Gilabrand (talk) 15:58, 1 April 2009 (UTC)

	The Working Wikipedian's Barnstar
	For your tireless work on Durban Review Conference and various other articles. I award you this shiny barnstar. Your work does not go unappreciated. Thanks for making Wikipedia a better place for everyone! Cheers Kyle1278 22:51, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

		The Defender of the Wiki Barnstar
		For working on an article that you felt shouldn't even exist and helping to bring it up, even if temporarily, to encyclopedic standards. Nableezy (talk) 18:32, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

		The Original Barnstar
		Your indefatigable persuit of impoving Middle East related articles, many of the controversial, has made the website a better place. The Squicks (talk) 18:38, 20 June 2009 (UTC)

		The Original Barnstar
		For saying a Zucchini should be called a Zucchini. --Firefly322 (talk) 16:17, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

		The Excellent Userpage Award
		I just happened to stumble on your username and your userpage, and both were highly entertaining to me and made me laugh. If that's not worth a barnstar, what is? — Hun ter Ka hn 05:34, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

On 22 June, 2009, In the news was updated with a news item that involved the article 2009 Iranian election protests, which you substantially updated. If you know of another interesting news item involving a recently created or updated article, then please suggest it on the In the news candidates page.

On 5 December 2010, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article Durban III, which you created or substantially expanded. The fact was ... that Canada has vowed to boycott the United Nations Durban III conference, calling it a "charade" and a "hatefest"? You are welcome to check how many hits the article got while on the front page (here's how, quick check) and add it to DYKSTATS if it got over 5,000. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.

On 14 December 2010, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article Civilian casualty ratio, which you created or substantially expanded. The fact was ... that according to a study by the International Committee of the Red Cross, the civilian casualty ratio in wars fought since the mid-20th century has been 10 civilian deaths for every soldier death? You are welcome to check how many hits the article got while on the front page (here's how, quick check) and add it to DYKSTATS if it got over 5,000. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.

On 3 January 2011, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article When We Die As Martyrs, which you created or substantially expanded. The fact was ... that the song "When We Die As Martyrs" is performed by the Arab children's choir Birds of Paradise? You are welcome to check how many hits the article got while on the front page (here's how, quick check) and add it to DYKSTATS if it got over 5,000. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.

On 25 March 2011, Did you know? was updated with a fact from the article Itamar attack, which you created or substantially expanded. The fact was ... that, in the Itamar attack, five members of a family were stabbed to death in their beds in the Israeli settlement of Itamar in the West Bank? You are welcome to check how many hits the article got while on the front page (here's how, quick check) and add it to DYKSTATS if it got over 5,000. If you know of another interesting fact from a recently created article, then please suggest it on the Did you know? talk page.