User:Farquaadhnchmn/HHNsubpage
- I'm not much of a peer reviewer, but I have a few suggestions:
- It's kind of crufty, see WP:CRUFT. Specifically, a long list detailing overly specific information on every year the event took place isn't really necessary; I suggest shortening them some and creating sub-articles covering certain headers and providing some sections summarizing the list.
- The opening section should be at least one paragraph long; for an article as long as this, 2-3 paragraphs. Provide an overview of what the article will be describing, a summary.
- It's more of a list than an article; under many headings, there is a brief description then a list of something. Try mentioning a few parts of the list in the main part of the section, and at least a few of the lists.
- The article is a bit long; most FAs are 32 kilobytes or shorter, this one is 38. While this isn't a very big deal for now, you could gradually shorten it over time, to maybe 35 KB.
- Overall, you a very good job on this; while it could definitely use a lot of improvement, it's off to a pretty good start. Instead of promoting it to featured status, I suggest focusing on making it a GA for now, and once it gets there, you'll be a long way through, and though it will still need a lot of work, I'm sure you could promote this eventually. —The Great Llama[[
The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.
- Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article.[1]
- Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.
- Per WP:MOS, avoid using words/phrases that indicate time periods relative to the current day. For example, previous [day/week/month/year] might be terms that should be replaced with specific dates/times.[2]
- See if possible if there is a free use image that can go on the top right corner of this article.[3]
- Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), when doing conversions, please use standard abbreviations: for example, miles -> mi, kilometers squared -> km2, and pounds -> lb.
- Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[4]
Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (headings), headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.
Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “Allpigs are pink, so we thought ofa number ofways to turn them green.”
- Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a. [5]
You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, AZ t 23:28, 1 December 2006 (UTC)