Template:Did you know nominations/Tristan Clemons

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Miyagawa (talk) 13:57, 27 October 2012 (UTC)

Tristan Clemons

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• ... that Australian field hockey goalkeeper Tristan Clemons is developing research to find a cure for cancer?

• Reviewed: Smash (The Offspring album)

Created/expanded by LauraHale (talk), Riley Huntley (talk). Nominated by Riley Huntley (talk) at 19:57, 21 October 2012 (UTC)

• Date if creation is Ocotber 21, article is 1858 characters long, hook is 105, ninemsn ref seems fine for it, no copyvio/neutrality issues. Good to go. Lajbi ^{Holla @ me • CP} 15:55, 24 October 2012 (UTC)

• I have problems with the hook. Clemons isn't developing research to find a cure for cancer, he's directly researching nanoparticles and a way to deliver them for targeted medical (drug) therapies: cancer is one application (and naturally the one picked up by a newspaper), but central nervous system damage seems to be the central one being investigated based on the university source. Saying his research is "to find a cure for cancer" is stretching things; besides, it's even more intriguing to bring nanotechnologies or nanoparticles in, especially since his research is specifically on nanoparticles. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:51, 24 October 2012 (UTC)

• ALT1 ... that Australian field hockey goalkeeper Tristan Clemons is developing research to using nanotechnology that may lead to finding a cure for cancer?

Alternative proposed. --LauraHale (talk) 23:54, 25 October 2012 (UTC)

I did a little editing of the key sentence in the article, and have a different ALT to suggest that avoids the "developing research" wording:

• ALT2 ... that Australian field hockey goalkeeper Tristan Clemons is researching nanoparticles that could treat injuries and fight cancer? —BlueMoonset (talk) 00:39, 26 October 2012 (UTC)

ALT2 is perfect if you ask me. -- Cheers, Riley Huntley 14:49, 26 October 2012 (UTC)

• Independent reviewer needed to approve hook. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:11, 26 October 2012 (UTC)

• I also agree to ALT2. Lajbi ^{Holla @ me • CP} 15:52, 26 October 2012 (UTC)