Template:Did you know nominations/Ottoz family

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by BlueMoonset (talk) 23:27, 12 August 2012 (UTC)

Ottoz family

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• ... that the Olympiastadion was friendly to the Ottoz family, 3 members have broken national record: in Berlin 1936, Gabre Gabric in discus, in 1964 Eddy Ottoz on 110 m hs, in 1994 Laurent broke the record of his father with 13:42.

Created/expanded by Kasper2006 (talk). Self nom at 15:02, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

• First, the article Ottoz family is too short; it has only 646B of prose, below the 1500B minimum. Second, the hook needs to be cut down to 200 characters or less (it is currently 559 characters). Chris857 (talk) 16:54, 24 July 2012 (UTC)

•  Done The rule say "1,500 characters" not "1,500B" and the characters of the main article are 3,982. Now the hook is 197 characters. --Kasper2006 (talk) 00:47, 25 July 2012 (UTC)

• I'm going to have to turn this down. First of all, I *think* the "B" in Chris857's comment is there by accident; I don't know, though, how they arrived at 559 characters for the hook. But the hook is not below 200--it's 247 and it's not in the proper format since it is written as two sentences, one of which a question, and both grammatically challenged. That's easily tweaked, but the article itself is a bigger issue: it really consists of two lists (a list of members, only partly verified, and a table with some results of three family members) and a not well-written paragraph based on a single source from an unreliable site (in the end, it's from www.scuole.vda.it, a local portal in Aosta). This is what Chris meant with "646B of prose". The DYK rules stipulate that "articles must have a minimum of 1,500 characters of prose (ignoring infoboxes, categories, references, lists, and tables etc.)"--ignoring the list and table, this article has 647. Besides, it is in bad need of proper copyediting. Drmies (talk) 14:02, 25 July 2012 (UTC)

•  Done I set the hook in one sentence (without any question), now is 186 characters.
•  Done Now the main article is without any lists, I converted it in a section, now the article have more of 1,500 characters of prose.
•  Done I added all full citations (just the results are results), and now the article has a proper copyediting.
•  Done I expanded the 1st reference and added two new references in english language. --Kasper2006 (talk) 16:27, 25 July 2012 (UTC)

• Since most of the text is in fact text it's acceptable, in my opinion. I don't see what you did with the hook--it's still not even in the grammatical form of a question. I removed the "friendly" phrase from the article; that's not encyclopedic and it shouldn't be in the hook either. The lead is a bit odd--one family member is mentioned in the lead, and the actual "History" section begins with that guy's wife, which is not a good thing. The history section needs to be one continuous account, and the lead should be a bit longer than one single sentence. Finally (for now), the article still needs to be copyedited for grammar, esp. punctuation. Drmies (talk) 21:56, 26 July 2012 (UTC)