Template:Did you know nominations/On Her Shoulders (film)

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 18:54, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

On Her Shoulders

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Murad in 2015

• ... that the documentary film On Her Shoulders shows Nadia Murad (pictured) escaping sexual slavery from the Islamic State? Source: [1]

• Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/ALEX BOWMAN

Created/expanded by CAPTAIN MEDUSA (talk). Self-nominated at 11:47, 16 June 2019 (UTC).

• @CAPTAIN MEDUSA: This article is new enough and long enough. The image cannot be used because it does not appear in the article, the article is neutral and I detected no copyright or plagiarism issues. I cannot see the hook facts in the article. No QPQ has yet been done. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:37, 4 July 2019 (UTC)
• Cwmhiraeth, completed the issues raised above.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 18:31, 4 July 2019 (UTC)

• @CAPTAIN MEDUSA: The QPQ is done and the image is now in the article, but there is no mention of "sexual slavery" in the article so the hook needs rewording (or the article changing). Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:16, 5 July 2019 (UTC)

Cwmhiraeth, the article now mentions sexual slavery.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 10:21, 6 July 2019 (UTC)

• Thank you. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:47, 6 July 2019 (UTC)

• Hi, I came by to promote this, but the article is a bit vague on details. Please add something about what the film is about to the lead. I deleted the Synopsis because it simply quoted the source at length; please write a synopsis in your own words. The following sentence also needs some grammatical help: Nadia Murad aged 19, was captured as prisoner by Islamic State in Iraq. Then she was captured in 2014, and taken to Mosul where she was held as sexual slave. (Add a few "a's" please. It's also not clear if the first and second sentences are referring to the same kidnapping.) I'm wondering if the fair use image is necessary since you have a freely-licensed image on the same page. Yoninah (talk) 18:59, 28 July 2019 (UTC)

• Yoninah, Hello, I've fixed these issues. ___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 11:54, 10 August 2019 (UTC)

• Thank you. I edited the article for grammar and also formatted the references properly. Please add a Production section to bring this up to start-class. Yoninah (talk) 14:55, 11 August 2019 (UTC)

Yoninah, I've expanded the Production section.___CAPTAIN MEDUSAtalk 15:59, 12 August 2019 (UTC)

• @CAPTAIN MEDUSA: Thank you. I went over your sources and did a lot of clean-up; you misquoted some details and also used the same language as the source in some places. It looks very good now.
• But the hook fact is not in the article. Also, how can the film, made two years after her escape, show her escape? I understand you want to work in the "sex slave" part for DYK, but to me the most interesting fact is that the director lied to her production company about what she was doing. You could always identify Murad in the hook as "a woman who was held as a sex slave by ISIL", but something else needs to be done with the hook. Yoninah (talk) 20:14, 15 August 2019 (UTC)

• Drive-by comment: I wonder if her Nobel Prize is worth mentioning in the hook. Vanamonde (Talk) 15:42, 22 August 2019 (UTC)

ALT1: ... that director Alexandria Bombach had to lie to the production company of On Her Shoulders, while directing a feature film of a woman who was held as a sex slave by ISIL (pictured) to "do justice to her story"? — Preceding unsigned comment added by CAPTAIN MEDUSA (talk • contribs) 09:10, 23 August 2019 (UTC)

• Regrettably, ALT1 is 203 prose characters, longer than the 200 maximum, so I've struck it. CAPTAIN MEDUSA, you'll want to propose a new hook or a shortened version of ALT1. Sorry for the bad news. BlueMoonset (talk) 06:07, 25 August 2019 (UTC)

I removed "film" before "director" to avoid repetition, and restored the hook as it's now below the length limit. -Zanhe (talk) 22:43, 25 August 2019 (UTC)

This is what I meant:

• ALT2: ... that a 2018 documentary depicts Nadia Murad (pictured), who escaped sexual slavery from the Islamic State, alerting politicians and journalists to the atrocities being committed in her native Iraq? Yoninah (talk) 23:49, 25 August 2019 (UTC)

• Approving ALT2. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:53, 3 September 2019 (UTC)