Template:Did you know nominations/Amsterdam Sex Crimes Case
- The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by PanydThe muffin is not subtle 19:32, 1 May 2012 (UTC)
Amsterdam Sex Crimes Case
[edit]- ... that in the Amsterdam Sex Crimes Case, Mickelsons was charged with sexual abuse of 67 children, one of which was less than 1 month old?
Created/expanded by L.tak (talk). Self nom at 17:41, 17 April 2012 (UTC)
Not sure this the appropriate title as it is too generic and capitals are not needed (or used per per MOS (wikistyle). Some phrasing is still too awkwardly translated, and some keys terms are not linked. Will transfer this template to article talk page so author can consider these points, and possibly find title or term being used in the NL.Djflem (talk) 16:25, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Agree about the capitals, but I am think this is the most decent title. In Dutch it is unambiguously "Amsterdamse zedenzaak". Although there are clearly more zedenzaken, the impact of this one seems to be the reason for this case is simply (almost exclusively) is referred to as "Amsterdamse zedenzaak". A "zedenmisdrijf" is routinely translated "sex crime", and as it were here multiple crimes, I assumed Amsterdam sex crimes case would be ok... Other suggestions are welcome though... As for the akward translations at times: I agree and am not sure if I am competent in improving, but if you specify them, I will give it a try! L.tak (talk) 17:24, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
- ALT1: ...
that in an ongoing Amsterdam sex crimes case the defendant has been charged with sexual abuse of 67 children, one of which was less than 1 month old?Djflem (talk) 18:20, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
- no problems with that hook; can imagine here an instead of the is used to refer to the case... L.tak (talk) 19:32, 21 April 2012 (UTC)
- ALT2: ... that in an Amsterdam sex crimes case the defendant was charged with sexual abuse of 67 children, one of which was less than 1 month old? Djflem (talk) 07:42, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
Hook, date, length, refs check out. As mentioned, title is consistent term and presentation in media in NLDjflem (talk) 07:52, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
- A bit late maybe but... I actually liked the "ongoing" in the previous ALT1-hook as it boosts relevance a bit. As the case case is with the judges until May (and note, as NL doesn't have a jury system, that means that there is no decision on guilt/non-guilt nor decision the lenght/type of sentence; both will be delivered at the same time), can't we say it is still ongoing? L.tak (talk) 12:17, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
I think it's not a good idea to have a child called a "which" rather than a "whom". To avoid confusion, I've renumbered the second "ALT1" as "ALT2"—alt numbers should not be reused. Here's an ALT3 that addresses the "which" problem, restores "ongoing", and makes another minor change to the final phrase, and an ALT4, which takes a different approach to the first two clauses, since the defendant has admitted the sexual abuse:
- ALT3: ... that in an ongoing Amsterdam sex crimes case the defendant has been charged with sexual abuse of 67 children, one of whom was less than a month old?
- ALT4: ... that in an Amsterdam sex crimes case awaiting final judgment, the defendant has admitted sexual abuse of 67 children, one of whom was less than a month old? —BlueMoonset (talk) 13:01, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
- A bit late maybe but... I actually liked the "ongoing" in the previous ALT1-hook as it boosts relevance a bit. As the case case is with the judges until May (and note, as NL doesn't have a jury system, that means that there is no decision on guilt/non-guilt nor decision the lenght/type of sentence; both will be delivered at the same time), can't we say it is still ongoing? L.tak (talk) 12:17, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
- Since defendant actually admitted to incidents involving 83 children but the parents of some decided not to pursue legal action and since the judgement has not yet been given, suggest:
- ALT5: ... that in an Amsterdam sex crimes case awaiting final judgment, the defendant has been charged with sexual abuse of 67 children, one of whom was less than a month old?
...my preference: ALT 6 is based on ALT 4 (which I think is most relevant), but with the updated number of children he confessed to have abused. I have sourced it in the article... L.tak (talk) 16:19, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
- ALT6: ... that in an Amsterdam sex crimes case awaiting final judgment, the defendant has admitted sexual abuse of 83 children, one of whom was less than a month old? L.tak (talk) 16:48, 26 April 2012 (UTC)
checks out Djflem (talk) 18:06, 30 April 2012 (UTC)