Talk:Ziggy Stardust (song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 20:26, 15 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

I have some doubts regarding the official artwork as it was obtained from rateyourmusic, consider an unreliable source

Yeah it's been there for a while. I've seen a few artworks from places like Discogs and their articles have gone to GA/FA. If you want I could upload a new version from there or since it's for the relatively unnotable live version I could just get rid of it.

Maybe the latter option. Discogs is diferent some covers are well known and labels have publish them all over the place, so they are easy to find. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:33, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Removed the image – zmbro _(talk) 16:07, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Lead

and recorded → remove
Co-produced by Ken Scott, Bowie recorded → Produced by Bowie and co-produced by Ken Scott, it was recorded

I don't agree with this. Saying produced twice like that is very redundant and it makes it seem like Bowie was the main and Scott was an additional, which is not correct. The whole album's production was between the two. Changed to "Co-produced by Bowie and Ken Scott, he recorded it" instead

It does sound better, the way you had it it made Scott look like the co-producer and Bowie as the producer. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

his backing → Bowie's backing

Not done as it flows better with 'his'

as well as the Legendary Stardust Cowboy → the reference backing this is not working on its archive and the original is dead

Replaced with a non-dead ref in body

The song has since been included on lists of Bowie's greatest songs, and by some as one of the greatest songs of all time. → The song has been included on lists of the greatest songs of all time.

That implies that it's not considered one of his greatest, which it is. I think it's fine the way it is.

I understood it was included on his greatest hits, my bad. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The song is also one → The track is also one

Done

Composition

Hunky Dory → release year
The Man Who Sold the World → same as previous
offer the same tribute. → what tribute? The guitar also slides away?

Yeah that's how Doggett words it. Changed to "sliding away in the same vein" is that better?

Yes. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:35, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Lyrics

came partly from the Legendary Stardust Cowboy, and partly, → needs broaden vocabulary

Changed to "The Ziggy Stardust name was partially influenced by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy, and partly, as..." That better?

No, it's basically the same. I think you shold re-write the whole sentence. It doesn't flow well. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I just realized that it's basically repeating what was said the previous sentence with "other influences...". Also, the source provided only says the "z" thing so I made the sentence just about that. – zmbro _(talk) 15:47, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"while this track" → which track?
in that the story of Jesus ended in death → the story of Jesus ended in death

Done

Release and reception

between "Hang On to Yourself" and "Suffragette City" → unecessary information

This same info is present in "Moonage Daydream" and "Station to Station" which are both GAs so why can't it be here?

What's the point of being there? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Removed – zmbro _(talk) 16:03, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

peaking at number 75 on the Billboard Japan Hot 100 and at number 17 on the US Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart. → sources an why not include the portuguese chart?

They weren't included because they were using the singlechart template. Replaced those with actual refs and added those there + Portugal

Revert, you should always use the singlechart template when available, then add "refname="JapanHot100", for example, in front of the country in the template. Why did you even do that? I thought you just forgot it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Actually wasn't aware you could use ref names in those templates. Changed back. My bad. – zmbro _(talk) 16:03, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

He described → Raggett described
Ned Raggett of AllMusic... "total classic". → source only in the end, its the same review don't need the same source three times

Yeah I really wasn't sure if I needed to source every time. Fixed.

which was written by one of the influencers of Ziggy Stardust, Marc Bolan → not on given source

Pegg mentions it so added that. Also rearranged that part to make it clear that UCR only says it was written by Bolan.

Done

Live versions and legacy

Where is the legacy? It is just best of Bowie releases. The legacy is on the section above where it was included in several best of all-time lists

Retitled to "Live versions and subsequent releases"

Bowie recorded the song for the BBC radio programme Sounds of the 70s: Bob Harris on 11 and 18 January 1972. On 16 May 1972, he played the song on Sounds of the 70s: John Peel broadcast on 23 May 1972. → not on the AllMusic source

You're right. Pegg has all the dates so added him.

Ziggy Stardust Tour, → running years?

Added

Done

Personnel

Use {{spaced ndash}}
Mixing, enginnering, mastering?

Done

Charts

Fine

Bauhaus version

"Bela Lugosi's Dead" → release year in between brackets
Archive of reference 60 is not working
You don't need to have the reference twice in a row, only last sentence
"I'm Waiting for the Man". → release year
"Trident...was where Bowie did a lot of his early albums, and when we got back to the office, we played "Ziggy" to the girl on the desk, a real Bowie freak. We told her we'd found it on an unmarked tape, that it was a rare Bowie outtake, and she was completely taken in. Which was the whole point." → this is giving the article a copyright violation, use your own words

Just removed. Unneeded

No chart entry for them?

I originally did but figured it wasn't needed since it was only one. Replaced personnel with it – don't have a source for personnel

Done

Track listings

Use {{spaced ndash}}

Done

Personnel

Use {{spaced ndash}}
Source?

Done as there is no source for the personnel

References

davidbowie.com → David Bowie official
review.co.uk. archived source doesn't work nor does the original (dead)
Source 26, I'm not sure it is reliable seems more of a fan compilation of album covers and the author "Ruud Altenburg" is nowhere to be seen

I agree. Pegg already verifies the sentence so just removed it

Pauldunoyer.com. → Paul Du Noyer
AllMusic → publisher
Far Out → Far Out Magazine
https://www.roundhouse.org.uk/ → Roundhouse + wikilink to Roundhouse (venue)
Some writers are formated with last and first parameter, while others are formated with author...be consistent

That's me forgetting to check. Fixed.

New comment reference 19 no author? Paul Du Noyer?

Fixed. – zmbro _(talk) 16:06, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done

External links

The lyrics can be edited so per Template:MetroLyrics song, they should be removed

Gotcha. Also just realized they're for the Bauhaus version so removed

Done

Overall

You can now address the comments. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:56, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MarioSoulTruthFan Thanks for the review. – zmbro _(talk) 19:44, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zmbro: You welcome. Just need to fix a couple more stuff. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:05, 16 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MarioSoulTruthFan All done. Thanks again. – zmbro _(talk) 16:07, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Zmbro: good job, I just want you to ses the edits I made yesterday and let me know if you are ok with those. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:33, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

MarioSoulTruthFan Yep looks good. Thanks again! – zmbro _(talk) 17:37, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]