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Talk:Zesh Rehman/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Hi! I will be reviewing this article. Check back for further comments. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 09:54, 22 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Quick fail criteria

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  1. Has reliable sources
  2. Is written neutrally
  3. No valid cleanup tags
  4. Is relatively stable with no edit wars
  5. Not specifically concerned with a rapidly unfolding current event with a definite endpoint

Full review

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GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
  • Criterion 2a
    • Source for 5 starts for Norwich?
     Done Soccerbase Spiderone (talk) 17:11, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Source for "Rehman went on to reach a mini milestone of playing in over 100 career games during this season"?
     Done removed it Spiderone (talk) 10:12, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Source for "On 31 December he returned to QPR, having made three league appearances."?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 17:11, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • Source for "whose new amabassador Omar Khan helped to engineer the move."?
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:12, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • The first paragraph in the International career section is covered by reference 29 [1], but the only information I find in this reference about Rehman is "Zesh Rehman was drafted in at right back and added considerable presence to a back four that has been breached only once from open play in the last eight games. They certainly kept it tight when needed on Saturday, repelling Grimsby’s brief flurries of pressure with well-placed blocks.


Rehman’s height also proved an effective weapon from corners. Twice he went close to a goal on his home debut, with one header scrambled unconvincingly off the line by Jean-Paul Kalala."

None of this covers the information in the aforementioned paragraph, although some of it is covered in reference 12 [2] Add this reference in where applicable.

Yes it is Spiderone (talk) 11:51, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It's not a reference. It's a note Spiderone (talk) 16:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Hmmm, I've nevber seen that done before. Could you separate it from the References section? How to is deteailed at WP:REFNOTE, and it would be a lot less confusing. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 06:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's an official anti-racism site Spiderone (talk) 16:02, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Again, that's fine. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 06:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Criterion 2c
    • "plus injuries and suspension problems in the squad allowed him to get his opportunity in the first team during the packed Christmas period of the season." - really reads like original research here - either source it or remove it.
     Done removed Spiderone (talk) 11:56, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • "This helped him gain the confidence of the fans and the manager with some solid and consistent displays for QPR" - again either source it or remove it.
     Done removed Spiderone (talk) 11:56, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Criterion 6
    • While containing no images is not a reason to fail the article, I was wondering if you have searched flickr for a free image? If none is available, don't worry about it, but it would be nice to have an image in the article.
I had a look on Flickr but none of them were free. It's a shame.
  • Final comments
    • While this looks like a lot, this is a well-written article, it just needs a little work. Most of the issues I have listed are minor ones that should be easy to fix.
    • Feel free request clarification on nay thing; you can leave comments on my talk page or here, as I have this page watchlisted.
    • Please either strike each comment when the problem has been fixed or post a note saying each item is completed to make it easier for me.
    • I am placing this article on hold to allow you to fix the problems listed. If no attempts are made to correct the problems, I will fail the article is seven days. If I see progress is being made, I will extend the hold period to allow you to finish.

Thanks, ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:50, 23 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Looking good so far. Excellent job. I've identified a further one or two problems above, but they're relatively minor. Keep going! ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 06:46, 24 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
This is truly excellent work! I'm very impressed. Ok, I shall next be doing a final read-through of the article, just to check everything is in order. Any problems found I expect to be relatively minor and easy to fix. When they're fixed, I shall pass the article. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 01:17, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final read-through

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Early life
  • "Zesh Rehman was born on 14 October 1983 in Birmingham, while in Birmingham he played for his local Sunday league team - Kingshurst" --> "Rehman was born on 14 October 1983 in Birmingham. As a child in Birmingham he played for his local Sunday league team, Kingshurst."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 09:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Starting out at Fulham
International career
  • "However, becoming the first British Asian to don an England senior football shirt seemed too far away, due to lack of first team opportunities at Fulham." --> "Becoming the first British Asian to don an England senior football shirt seemed too far away, however, due to lack of first team opportunities at Fulham." - The word "however" shoud not be used to start sentences.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 09:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Because of his Pakistani parentage and possessing dual Pakistani and British nationality, he also qualified to represent Pakistan. Eventually Rehman opted to represent Pakistan as he considered it to be a more realistic option" --> Due to his Pakistani parentage, and because he possessed dual Pakistani and British nationality, Rehman also qualified to represent Pakistan, and he eventually opted to play for them, as he considered it to be a more realistic option".
     Done Spiderone (talk) 09:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "wanted him to fight for an England place more" --> "wanted him to fight more for an England place"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 09:32, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Rehman pointed to Michael Chopra then with Cardiff City who had been" --> "Rehman pointed to Michael Chopra, then with Cardiff City, who had been" - grammar.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:20, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "yet David Nugent who was then at fellow Championship club Preston North End was picked" --> "yet David Nugent, who was then at fellow Championship club Preston North End, was picked"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:20, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Personal life
  • "designed to provide support and facilitate the development of grassroots" --> change this to either "designed to support and facilitate the development of grassroots" or "designed to provide support for and facilitate the development of grassroots"
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:25, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The last few sentences of the first paragraph need to be changed around a little I think.
    • "has attended meetings with the PFA" should be moved up to the "He has also worked with the Professional Footballers' Association (PFA) to try and increase the number of British Asians taking up a career in professional football." sentence, and added onto the end, i.e. --> "He has also worked with the Professional Footballers' Association (PFA) to try and increase the number of British Asians taking up a career in professional football, and has attended meetings with the PFA in order to achieve this goal."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
    • You're then left with "He has also been involved with the Show Racism The Red Card campaign and he has taken part in Chelsea F.C.'s "Search for an Asian Star" campaign."
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The final sentence of the second paragraph (the one about the Islam Expo) should be moved to the end of the first paragraph. Related info like him promoting the Asian Football Network, fighting racism, and building bridges between Britain's Muslim communities and the rest of society should be kept together in the same paragraph.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:25, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • After that sentence^^ has been moved up, combine the second and third paragraphs, which all talk about his appearances in the media.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:31, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He has a brother called Rizwan who played for Brentford but quit football early due to an injury" --> "He has a brother, called Rizwan, who played football for Brentford, but was forced to quit early due to an injury". - Just clarifying what he plays and minor grammar issues.
     Done Spiderone (talk) 10:44, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Apart from this, which are all relatively minor, the article is in good condition, and I am than willing to pass it once these issues have been resolved. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 02:53, 25 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent job. This article is now a GA. Congratulations, and thanks for all your hard work. ♥Nici♥Vampire♥Heart♥ 03:51, 26 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, it means a lot Spiderone (talk) 09:24, 26 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
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