Talk:Zero Escape: Virtue's Last Reward/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 14:48, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this on. If I'm not back in three days, poke me on my talk page. --ProtoDrake (talk) 14:48, 22 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, will do. Thanks for taking up the review so quickly

Here's what I noticed.

"also known as simply Virtue's Last Reward in Europe" - This seems a little clunky, but I'll leave it up to you as to whether you feel it needs changing.
- Done I moved this to a footnote.--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"The script was written by Uchikoshi, who was also severed as the lead writer for 999." - Aside from giving me a good laugh and being strangely apt in the context of Virtue's Last Reward, I think "who also served as the lead writer" would be better.
- Done Oh my god, that's too funny.--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Virtue's Last Reward is a visual novel adventure video game in which the player assumes the role of Sigma." - Some minor elaboration on who or what Sigma is would be handy here.
- I just called him a man. Is this what you had in mind (just "Sigma" does indeed not communicate that it's a person), or do you want it to be more specific?--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - That's just fine. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:43, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
"pair of individuals they're against" - Use of a contraction here. I would put "pair of individuals they are pitted against" or something like that.
- Done--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"player controlled Sigma" - Maybe you need to put a hyphen between "player" and "controlled", as it briefly looks like you've switched from past to present tense before the reader gets to the rest of the sentence. This is purely optional.
- Done--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Development of the game began shortly after the release of 999, mainly due to 999‍‍ '‍s positive reception in Japan and North America." - I think you should put a date to when 999 was released, just to give better chronological context to that sentence.
- Done--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

If you are worried about the YouTube references not being archived, it's possible to archive them on WebCite: this keeps the videos working on the archived pages. I'm not sure about the finer details on how this works, but it is possible to archive them at least. You might also be able to archive the Official Website pages using WebCite if Wayback doesn't work for them.
- Do I just archive the Youtube page like I would with any other website? And no, WebCite doesn't work for the official website, I've tried.--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  - @IDV: Yeah, just go through the usual procedure of archiving something on WebCite. I think you can ask PresN or go through WebCite's archiving instructions if you don't know how. I know, but I'm so bad at explaining things like that. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:43, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done--IDV^talk 10:57, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That's everything. I'll do a second pass when everything I've mentioned has been sorted. Till then, I'll put this article on hold --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:51, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@ProtoDrake: I've taken care of most of this, I think. I've left comments under each point where I have something to add or ask about.--IDV^talk 10:19, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@ProtoDrake: All right, I've archived the Youtube reference.--IDV^talk 10:57, 26 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Right ho. I think this article is suitable to become a Good Article