Talk:Yusuf Sayfa/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 22:42, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

So with that IP triggered review page out of the way, I'll have a look soon. My paternal family is from the Tripoli/Akkar area, so it will be especially interesting for me. FunkMonk (talk) 22:42, 7 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@FunkMonk: I hope you enjoy the read then ;) And thanks for sorting out that mess and taking this review up. Looking forward to your comments and suggestions. Al Ameer (talk) 02:28, 9 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

At first glance, some cities appear to be duplinked, you can highlight them with this script:[1]

Done.

"The establishment of Turkmen and Kurdish military colonies around Tripoli started during Mamluk rule" You could state somewhere when it changed to Ottoman rule?

Done.

Qurqumaz ibn Yunis just links to Ma'n dynasty, which is linked right after him, so seems redundant.

Fixed the link, it now directs to the relevant section of the Ma'n article. If it's still considered redundant, I'll remove it.

"powerful chieftain in Syria" Link Ottoman Syria or something like that?

Done. On a related note, I was not sure whether to use the term Syria (as enough readers may confuse for modern Syria) or the Levant. Thoughts?

Hmmm, I think it's fine as is as long as you somehow make clear that we are talking about Syria as a region early on. Maybe say that it was an Ottoman region divided into administrative subdivisions or something. Or maybe "was a subdivision of Damascus Eyalet spanning the Syrian coastlands" could be something like "was a subdivision of Damascus Eyalet spanning the coastlands of the Ottoman region of Syria/"? FunkMonk (talk) 11:57, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The relevance of the Tripoli Citadel image isn't made clear in its current location, could context maybe be established in the caption?

Done, I think. Al Ameer (talk) 21:50, 10 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"In 1585 an Ottoman expedition was launched against the local chieftains in Syria, including Yusuf." Why? I know there is a linked article, but could be good with a brief explanation here.

Let me know if what I added suffices. Al Ameer (talk) 02:26, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good. FunkMonk (talk) 11:57, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The term iltizam doesn't seem to be linked or explained in the article.

Done, clarified that a multazim is a holder of iltizam (tax farm) and there’s already some explanation about tax farming in the region.

Link Shia Muslim?

Done.

Link Baalbek?

Done.

"near the Dog River" Why use an English name here?

Changed to "Nahr al-Kalb river". For this and the below points about the forts, I was not sure whether it was best to use the local name or the English name.

Since the names below are well-known in the west, I think they could be mainly used. But I'm not sure Dog River is as common? Also, there are more instances of the term left if you want to replace them. FunkMonk (talk) 11:57, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Agreed, and done for remaining instances of "Dog River". Al Ameer (talk) 19:36, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Yusuf escaped to the Krak des Chevaliers" Would it perhaps be more appropriate to use a contemporary local name for the structure here? Or at least mention it?
Likewise with Beaufort Castle?

Again, for this article and related articles that I have been working on, I was not sure which names would be best. I would think Krak des Chevaliers and Beaufort work better as "common names" for English readers, but maybe the difference is marginal. How about using "Hisn al-Akrad" and "Shaqif Arnun", but on first mention for each I note in parentheses that they refer to the Krak des Chevaliers and Beaufort? Al Ameer (talk) 21:50, 10 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I think the western names are common enough that you could just mention their local names in parenthesis after first mention? FunkMonk (talk) 11:57, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, done.

"and demanded that he make peace sealed by a marriage alliance between their families" So were anyone married?

@FunkMonk: Yes, added it. Al Ameer (talk) 02:26, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"who alternaively" Missing t?

Fixed.

"hanging his body at the Kras des Chevaliers" Krak?

Fixed.

Considering how much you've already written about Fakhr al-Din II, I wonder if he'll get the GAN treatment too?

@FunkMonk: Absolutely. There's a lot more work to be done on that draft, and I plan on FAC ultimately. --Al Ameer (talk) 19:36, 11 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's it, will promote, looking forward to related articles! FunkMonk (talk) 01:28, 12 November 2020 (UTC)[reply]