Talk:You Are the One (Argentine TV series)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 03:26, 22 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

This has been waiting too long for a review, so I'll take a shot at it. Wizardman 03:26, 22 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

The lead should be expanded.
"and ending January 9, 2007, and during its broadcast averaged 26.9 points overall rating." and ended; the last part is confusing as worded.
The second reference is a deadlink, and for that matter isn't needed, it can just be removed.
"The telenovela was produced by Pol-ka over a premise of Adrián Suar." Should be reworded. Did Suar create the concept or the show itself? Later sentences seem to make it sound like either.
"As it is customary in the production, he formulated it nearly six months before the premiere" The first part doesn't seem necessary, and it worded a bit oddly.
"This was a "rich man, owner of a company with unspecified business and former Formula 1 racer falls in love with a poor girl looking for work in his emporium"." Quote is unsourced.
"The scripts were requested to Ernesto Korovsky and Sebastian Parrotta," huh? Did the two request a script, or did Suar request to send them a script?
"The relationship between the two had surpassed the professional level, so Facundo Arana had spontaneously offered a guest appearance on the Russian series A ritmo de tango starred by Natalia Oreiro" Can just say Arana, also I'm confused as to what this has to do with the article.
"As in the aforementioned Muñeca Brava," avoid self-referencing the article
"The character of Natalia Oreiro," could be simplified and just say "Oreiro's character". Same with Arana in the next paragraph.
"The story begins with a fight of the female boxer Esperanza Muñoz," reword. The voice throughout this article is off actually, making this difficult to read.
"Despite the success, the telenovela tried several risks in the creative and production fields, most times with successful results." If it was successful, then despite's a bad word choice.
The last airings paragraph needs a cite.
"With an average 26,8 points of rating Sos mi vida ended as the most watched fiction in the television of Argentina so far;" sentence needs rewording, format feels backwards here.
The article needs a top-to-bottom copyedit.

I only skimmed after the Premise due to my difficulty actually getting through that section. Solely due to the length of time this has waited for a review I won't fail the article immediately, but I suggest you allow me to do so so that you can take the time and address everything, since I was surprised as how rough the prose was, right now it's not close to GA standards. Wizardman 04:33, 22 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Re-reading it over again, I am going to fail it per the above. It'll need some time to get near GA status. Wizardman 01:03, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]