Talk:Yao Ming/GA

preliminary GA Review

In the "early life/pre-CBA career" section, the presentation of information is a bit awkward and cumbersome. For example, the sentences "he developed a sickness...left ear" and "he was predicted to grow to a height of..." don't really fit in with their context. The latter sentence should be moved up, where the article talks about his height, while the former sentence may just be better off deleted (?). Keep this in mind regarding the prose throughout the article.
The Shaq meeting on September 17, maybe provide a full, linked date?
Some parts of the prose, particularly toward the later sections, are one-line paragraphs. If possible (especially in the persona life section), try to expand these one-liners so that the flow of the prose is not interrupted.
Would it be possible to included more information within the "reference" entries? A lot of the entries consist of titles and access dates. Perhaps include publication information and date of publication?

--Malachirality (talk) 20:49, 19 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Done. I've reworded both the early life section and the later sections. I've wikilinked the date, and I've added "publisher", "date" and "author" where applicable. Noble Story (talk) 00:19, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Sort of impressed with this article, but it could use improvement. I like the information on Yao given in the article and I feel his NBA career was documented sufficiently. Article shows at times a lack of organization though. Yao's parents should be mentioned in his personal life in my opinion and often times throughout the article dates are not chronologically in order and jump around too much, when often times in reality they should be ordered or grouped together.

--Tlayden (talk) 06:59, 26 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I understand what you mean about his parents; I'm still working on the "Off the court" section. But could you give me an example of date that "are not chronologically in order"? Thanks. Noble Story (talk) 08:10, 26 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Also, I've checked here and there are currently 4 broken links in this article. iMatthew 20 08 10:38, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've fixed the two broken links (the other two aren't actually broken, as you can see. Noble Story (talk) 15:12, 9 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

My GA Review for this article

The requirements for a Good Article are as follows:

1. It is well written.

There were some minor grammar issues, which I have fixed (easier to fix myself than pinpoint each one—hope you don't mind).
Appears to comply with manual of style
While citations are not always needed in leads, I might include a citation for the fact that Ming "is currently the tallest player in the NBA," since the fact might be dated and controversial.
- Done.
I feel the following sentence is irrelevant and should be deleted: "Two games later against the Dallas Mavericks, Yao scored 30 points and took 16 rebounds, both career highs up to that point."
- Done.
Please fix the following statement so there is not an abrupt change from All-Stars to Rockets: "In the 2008 NBA All-Star Game, Yao was once again voted to start at center for the Western Conference.[70] After a poor start, the Rockets went on a streak of 22 consecutive wins."
- Done. (I think).
Should the following statement read "tournaments" plural? : "Yao's final averages were 25.3 points, the most in the tournaments"
- Done.
Please report 6.75 million yuan in U.S. dollars as well for consistency
- Done.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

This statement needs a citation, and if its an autobiography then there will not be another author unless it's just a forward or something. Please look into this and correct. : "In 2004, Yao published an autobiography, entitled "Yao: A Life in Two Worlds", that written by Ric Bucher."
- Done.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

Yes, great job.

4. Does the article maintain Neutrality?

For the most part, the article maintains neutrality.

5. It is stable. In this respect, it:

The article is stable with no recent edit wars. Appears there has been a lot of good collaboration on the article lately.

6. It is illustrated, where possible and appropriate, by images.[4] In this respect:

The article has five images incorporated that abide by terms of the GNU Free Documentation license

In conclusion, I will put the nomination "on hold" for 1 week until the above issues are addressed. Thank you. --Eustress (talk) 23:33, 16 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for correcting the grammar mistakes (I didn't realize there were so many). I think I have corrected all your concerns. Noble Story (talk) 03:56, 17 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I'm passing the edit the article for GA now. You all have done a great job...this article is quite comprehensive and has a lot of great details. Best regards --Eustress (talk) 13:15, 17 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot for your review, and for passing it. Noble Story (talk) 13:27, 17 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]