Talk:William of Villehardouin/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 07:55, 22 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Will review this over the following days. Constantine ✍ 07:55, 22 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lede

~~victory near Thebes I assume the Battle of Karydi is meant here? Karydi is not near Thebes though, but a mountain north of Megara, close to Pateras.~~

Done (I preferred to say Attica).

~~Link Achaean fiefs to Lordship of Argos and Nauplia, a decisive defeat to Battle of Pelagonia, and seized Constantinople to Reconquest of Constantinople~~

Done.

Background

emerged on the western and eastern borderlands of the Byzantine Empire respectively have rephrased this slightly, but for the benefit of our readers, I would suggest a more precise phrasing: 'emerged in western Greece and western Anatolia respectively' or similar.

I would prefer the present wording. Epirus included Albanian territories as well.

they reconquered Anatolia not quite accurate, as it implies all of Anatolia, which they definitely did not; and most of the Byzantine territories were not conquered by the Franks either way. I would suggest just leaving it out.

Done.

~~'triarchs' is not a Hebrew word, in fact it is English.~~

Yes, it is clearly not a Hebrew word. I wanted to indicate its Greek origin.

The rest of the article to come later today. Constantine ✍ 07:50, 4 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Expansion and crusade

Have made some copyedits for style and clarity.

Thank you for them.

~~The date of the capture of Monemvasia is disputed. I suggest consulting Guillaume Saint-Guillain, The Conquest of Monemvasia by the Franks.~~

I explained it in a note.

~~Add a link to the Genoese occupation of Rhodes.~~

Done.

War of the Euboeote Succession

~~Per above, 'triarchs' is an English word and does not need italics. But for consistency I recommend using 'triarch' and 'triarchy' throughout, or the Italian terms.~~

Done.

Since there exists a main article for the topic, much of the information in the second paragraph is redundant or can be summarized.
Longnon appears to be relying on the 'traditional' narrative according to Hopf. I recommend relying only on Setton. I am in the process of correcting/updating the main article accordingly, including Loenertz as a source.

Defeat and captivity

~~the citation needed tag at a source of dubious reliability needs to be resolved~~

Done.

William not only swore fealty to Michael VIII, but also received the high title of megas domestikos. I would recommend consulting Geanakoplos' work on the issue of William's negotiations with the Byzantine emperor.

I do not have access to Geanakoplos's work.

@Borsoka: Please check your email. Constantine ✍ 19:30, 18 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Conflicts with the Byzantines

Again, for this section at least I would expect to see Geanakoplos used. Lognon as well.

I do not have access to Geanakoplos's work. Borsoka (talk) 05:56, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I assume that William defeated the Greeks at Nikli refers to the Battle of Makryplagi?

Family

William was also noted as a trouvère ("poet/composer"), and the Manuscrit du Roi, containing two of his own compositions, was written in Achaea during his reign this does not really belong in this section, and requires a reference.

Done. Borsoka (talk) 06:46, 11 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's it for now, will do another read-through when the above points are dealt with. Constantine ✍ 12:56, 4 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the thorough review and also for your suggestion. I am on holiday now, so I have no access to my library. I can start addressing the issues you raised above in the weekend. Borsoka (talk) 03:02, 7 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Borsoka: no worries, take your time and enjoy your vacation! Constantine ✍ 07:40, 8 June 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Cplakidas: sorry, I have not received your email. I am thinking of withdrawing the nomination and complete the article after I seized Geanakoplos's work. It seems to be a book of high quantity and its subjects is within my area of interest. Borsoka (talk) 04:45, 13 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Borsoka: I used the email user function, possibly the email is outdated. Please send me a current address on my email. As to the nomination, as you wish, but I have no problem with waiting a bit longer. Constantine ✍ 15:39, 13 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]