Talk:William Egbert/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nikkimaria (talk) 03:55, 25 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this article for possible GA status. My review should be posted when it's morning where I am. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 03:55, 25 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to put this article on hold to allow time for the below issues to be addressed. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 13:34, 25 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Don't use "also" so much, it makes phrasing sound repetitive. For example: "Egbert also played a key role in establishing a rural telephone service in his area.[4] He also held many community positions, such as the choir leader at a local Methodist church, and also served as a member of the school board"
Lead says his occupation was physician and politician, but infobox only says physician - be consistent
Lieutenant Governor or Lieutenant-Governor?
Don't link the same term more than once

"Dunnville Public High Schools" - is this the name of a specific school? If not, should not be capitalized
"In 1885, he studied medicine at Victoria University and received his Bachelor of Medicine, Doctor of Medicine and Master of Surgery degrees in 1889" - reword to make timing clearer

"of which he served as it's president in 1921" - grammar
Distinguish between its and it's
"His introductory speech at the Alberta Legislature Building as a member of National Committee for the Celebration of the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation, commemorated the importance, and recognizied the achievements of the Fathers of Confederation" - edit for clarity and grammar
"The same year saw the completion the the all-Canadian telephone service" - missing a word?
Amongst -> Among
"His son, also named William" - as you give his name earlier in the paragraph, the second part of this phrase is probably unnecessary
"Their oldest daughter...His son...Their youngest daughter" - be consistent in pronoun use

"Egbert was an unsuccessful legislative candidate and party leader for the Liberal Party of Alberta" - bolded part not mentioned in article body text
When author = publisher, only mention it once, not in both fields
Is Shea a newspaper or magazine article? Missing information
No MacLeod in Bibliography, no MacRae in References
Get rid of the double period at the end of MacRae's entry

I don't know much about this guy, but I don't see anything obviously missing or over-emphasized

"notably on the the 100th anniversary of Father Albert Lacombe's birth" - what makes this speech notable?

No issues noted

Can you move the Prince of Wales image slightly to avoid compressing the section header? Also, the date on the image description page contradicts the caption
Not required, but it would be helpful to categorize the images

Will address these comments accordingly, thanks for the review. Connor mah 15:51, 25 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've got them all done - thanks again. Connor mah 16:26, 25 August 2010 (UTC)[reply]