Talk:William Egbert

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:William Egbert/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Nikkimaria (talk) 03:55, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this article for possible GA status. My review should be posted when it's morning where I am. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 03:55, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

I'm going to put this article on hold to allow time for the below issues to be addressed. Cheers, Nikkimaria (talk) 13:34, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Writing and formatting

• Don't use "also" so much, it makes phrasing sound repetitive. For example: "Egbert also played a key role in establishing a rural telephone service in his area.[4] He also held many community positions, such as the choir leader at a local Methodist church, and also served as a member of the school board"
• Lead says his occupation was physician and politician, but infobox only says physician - be consistent
• Lieutenant Governor or Lieutenant-Governor?
• Don't link the same term more than once

• University of Alberta? Calgary?

• Right.

• "Dunnville Public High Schools" - is this the name of a specific school? If not, should not be capitalized
• "In 1885, he studied medicine at Victoria University and received his Bachelor of Medicine, Doctor of Medicine and Master of Surgery degrees in 1889" - reword to make timing clearer

• Reword created a grammatical error but didn't really make it clearer

• "of which he served as it's president in 1921" - grammar
• Distinguish between its and it's
• "His introductory speech at the Alberta Legislature Building as a member of National Committee for the Celebration of the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation, commemorated the importance, and recognizied the achievements of the Fathers of Confederation" - edit for clarity and grammar
• "The same year saw the completion the the all-Canadian telephone service" - missing a word?
• Amongst -> Among
• "His son, also named William" - as you give his name earlier in the paragraph, the second part of this phrase is probably unnecessary
• "Their oldest daughter...His son...Their youngest daughter" - be consistent in pronoun use

• Not fixed

• Last remaining issue, but still not fixed.

• Add categories

Accuracy and verifiability

• "Egbert was an unsuccessful legislative candidate and party leader for the Liberal Party of Alberta" - bolded part not mentioned in article body text
• When author = publisher, only mention it once, not in both fields
• Is Shea a newspaper or magazine article? Missing information
• No MacLeod in Bibliography, no MacRae in References
• Get rid of the double period at the end of MacRae's entry

Broad

I don't know much about this guy, but I don't see anything obviously missing or over-emphasized

Neutrality

• "notably on the the 100th anniversary of Father Albert Lacombe's birth" - what makes this speech notable?

Stability

No issues noted

Images

• Can you move the Prince of Wales image slightly to avoid compressing the section header? Also, the date on the image description page contradicts the caption
• Not required, but it would be helpful to categorize the images

Will address these comments accordingly, thanks for the review. Connormah 15:51, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

I think I've got them all done - thanks again. Connormah 16:26, 25 August 2010 (UTC)