Talk:Vernon O. Johnson

Comments

So, the article here needs a bit work, some related to the tags, some not. Here are the biggest issues I see:

• A lot of claims, particularly the more sensational aspects of Johnson's life, are not clearly cited based on my read. Here are some sections where I see issues:
  • Almost all of the Early Life section. I doubt the citation to the SB Independent supports anything outside of the Pearl Harbor statement. If there are no reliable sources that support this info, it needs to go. Not every bio needs an "early life" section, particularly if there is no independent coverage of it.
  • In Cadet School, After his first week, he was asked by his officers if he would spy on his fellow cadets to route out Communists, to which he replied... if this is only supported by personal letters, it's not reliable, particularly if it's about a correspondence he had during wartime. The letters are primary sources, which should be used to supplement reliable sources, not used as a replacement.
  • Flight school, combat, B17 crash - There should be more information on this Crash Report from archives.gov so someone could find it. I definitely can't based on what's there. His injuries do not appear to be sourced.
  • Post-war life - Again, needs citations. It is not important to write about the growth of his family / roads trips / inspirations if it's not covered in other sources.
  • Catalyst for the world trip to promote diplomatic accord this section should probably be removed, because it's not really about him and it's out of scope for a biographical article. The few sentences about Krushchev's visit and Johnson's interactions with Khrushchev should be merged the next section.
• My read of the article says to me that this was a guy known for his travels and attempts to change US foreign policy, with some info about his military service. The article really needs to be written to those topics because everything else lacks appropriate sourcing, even if it is true.
• While offline sources are OK, every effort should be made to find online materials for reasons of accessibility and so it's easier for folks to verify these materials. For news articles, you might consider checking Google News Archives or HighBeam. For books, check Google Books. Of course you won't find everything, but some effort should be made to see if these materials can be located online.
• You don't need 3+ citations after a claim to verify it. Find a way to spread these citations out, incorporate unique material from these articles, or consider dropping them if they are basically saying the same thing.
• The tone of the prose in the article feels a bit narrative to me. Sentences like Ninety miles from journey's end... and The deep-seated bigotry and anger stunned the man who believed in personal contact make me feel like I'm reading a piece of fiction, not an encyclopedia. His life needs to be reported, not sensationalized.

Those are the main points right now. Johnson does appear to meet the general notability criteria, but the article needs a bit of clean-up. I, JethroBT ^{drop me a line} 07:50, 8 January 2015 (UTC)

Reply to JethroBT

I missed this page; novice cluelessness. Mea Culpa. Thank you for all your detailed notes. I will attempt to address them. JendaAJ (talk) 01:46, 11 January 2015 (UTC)

@JendaAJ: Actually, in retrospect, I should have known to ping you in my initial comment above. Thanks for looking over my comments. I, JethroBT ^{drop me a line} 05:46, 11 January 2015 (UTC)

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