Talk:Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:04, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
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I will review this soon; hopefully your response will be as timely as usual! --K. Peake 08:04, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Infobox looks good!
- Thank you! Giacobbe talk 13:13, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
Remove the release sentence because the song did not have a separate release from the albumDone"It was written by" → "The song was written by"Done"different pieces together" → "different pieces of music together"DoneThere is too much info listed for the lead about what the style contains; probably cut out parts like pianos and synths but you can keep the influencesDoneThe themes are not properly sourced in the body; they should be mentioned in the comp section as well as or instead of receptionDone"The song's intro samples" → "The song samples"DoneRemove release years of the songsDone"Reviewers praised the song's lyrics, its use of the Temptations sample" → "Contemporary reviewers praised the song's lyrics, its sampling of the Temptations"Done"number 14 in New Zealand," should be changed to mention the New Zealand Hot Singles Chart because otherwise it is misleading what you are referring toDoneWikilink music videoDoneWikilink teddy bearDone
Background
[edit]Retitle to Background and developmentDoneTarget retro to Retro style on the quote textDone- First para looks good!
- Thank you! Giacobbe talk 13:27, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
"a piano piece that" → "a piano arrangement that" with the wikilinkDone"unsure of how to" → "being unsure of how to"DoneTarget demo to Demo (music)Done"of his album." does this refer to the other person's album or Healy's? If the former, then keep as is and if the latter, then change to "of Notes on a Conditional Form."Done"and so they merged them" → "thus they merged them"DoneTarget pop to Pop musicDone[11][12][1] should be put in numerical orderDone"specifically their sophomore album," → "specifically the latter of the four's sophomore album"Done"the band wanted to" → "the 1975 wanted to"Done
Composition
[edit]"and funk-influenced" → "and a funk-influenced" on the audio sample textDone""Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)" is a mid-tempo" → "The song is a mid-tempo" and this should be swapped with the following sentence because genres belong firstDone"Musically, it is an" → "Musically, "Tonight (I Wish I Was Your Boy)" is an"DoneWikilink upstrokes per MOS:LINK2SECTDone"deemed it a "a" → "deemed it "a"DoneTarget high-pitched to Pitch (music)Done"modified through a" → "that is modified through a"Done"noted was reminiscent of Kanye West." → "noted as reminiscent of West."Done"away with me"." → "away with me."" because those are full lyrics quotedDone"It then drops" → "The song then drops"Done"a rigged game"." → "a rigged game.""Done- Are you sure the Genius source can be used for reprising of the sample?
- "The sped-up sample appears on the intro [...] The latter two lines are also used in the chorus." Giacobbe talk 13:36, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
"fucked it royally"." → "fucked it royally.""Done
Reception
[edit]"of the Temptations" → "of the Temptations'" on the img textDone DoneThe section should be ordered by thematic elements as accurately as possible, so best songs of 2020 rankings should be grouped together directly after the NME and PF weekly listsDone"commending the mixture" → "with Troy Smith commending the mixture"DoneAttribute the Spin review to Brenton BlanchetDone"calling it the" → "calling the track the" to avoid confusionDone"was the best non-single" → "is the best non-single"Done"are singing about."" → "are singing about"." per MOS:QUOTEDoneAttribute the highlighting from Insider to Callie AhlgrimDone"a standout from the album," → "a standout from Notes on a Conditional Form,"Done"included it on" → "included the song on"DoneTarget hook to Hook (music)Done"in album's central run, saying:" → "in the album's central run, saying that"Done"never sounded better."" → "never sounded better"."Done"lauded the lyrics" → "lauded the line"Done"for its simplicity and" → "for the simplicity and"Done"was clean, gentle and" → "is clean, gentle and"Done"number 14 in New Zealand" → "number 14 on the New Zealand Hot Singles chart" per earlier commentDone
Music video
[edit]- Soon, but you can go over my initial concerns in the meantime
- @Kyle Peake: Sounds good. Giacobbe talk 14:07, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe Great that you have responded so quickly and nice to see the cross out style being utilised! I will leave further comments below. --K. Peake 15:47, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Thanks! I find it's just easier to keep track of what I've addressed. Giacobbe talk 16:28, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
Remove comma after art exhibition, but this part is unsourcedDone"The video begins with" → "It begins with"Done- The source mentions the teddy bear being depressed but not the video beginning in the bedroom, unless translate isn't working properly for me
- @Kyle Peake: Ref 47 was just used to source him being depressed, the bedroom part is found in ref 48. Didn't know if I should've added it to that line or if it would be WP:OVERCITE. Giacobbe talk 16:28, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe It is only cited once in the para so you can have it after the sentence in question, but this is about the YT ref isn't it because they've been reordered and the other one does not mention it beginning there? --K. Peake 16:35, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: I think there may be some confusion happening. To replace the Exespose ref, I had to replace it with 2 other sources, so I think it threw them out of order. Ref 47 (Rolling Stone) (which is cited directly after the sentence) mentions the teddy bear being depressed. The following ref (located at the end of the paragraph), 48, says: "a bear in his little bedroom that sings of an unnamed pain". Giacobbe talk 16:50, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe The text mentions the video beginning in the bedroom, which is not sourced unless you use YT I mean. --K. Peake 17:00, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- Oh, I see. No worries, I'll cite it again. Giacobbe talk 17:04, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
"to be longing, anxiety and" → "as being lost between anxiety and"DoneTarget 2D animations to Traditional animationDoneThe quote about "situating the voice in the song that seemed to be stuck in a moment, thinking of another time and even another timeline" can be added, but maybe paraphrase to avoid potential copyvio issuesDone"said: "[the] teddy bear who, like" → "said that the teddy bear "like" because who is redundant hereDone"of his computer."" → "of his computer"." per MOS:QUOTEDone
Credits and personnel
[edit]Maybe mention the keyboards in comp if the personnel section credits them?Done
Charts
[edit]Make the positions sortable, as there are four hereDone
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks too high at 46.8%; cut down the amount of lyrics quoting definitely to fix this, plus the Uproxx issue should be fixed if you edit that bear quote
- @Kyle Peake: Down to 42. Only two small lines in the song are quoted (one from the sample and one from the song itself). Genius took Healy's quote from the Apple Music interview, making it appear higher than it actually is. Giacobbe talk 17:14, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- @Kyle Peake: Ran the tool, some of them do not want to archive though. Have you encountered this before? Giacobbe talk 17:18, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
Target Complex to Complex (magazine) on ref 15 per MOS:LINK2SECTDoneTarget Insider to Insider (website) on ref 19 per aboveDoneRemove or replace ref 20 per WP:RSSMDone- I was considering this issue for ref 23 too, but WP:RSSM says reputable student media can be reliable sometimes and this is one of three fully independent student newspapers in the UK, plus has received numerous awards so I think it is a decent source
Remove target on Insider for ref 39DoneRemove target on Rolling Stone Italy for ref 46Done
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but I have faith in you getting this one done today since it's only a few sections and you've already done most! --K. Peake 15:44, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe This article looks very good for such a short time since my review comments; regarding the issue with archiving, I have encountered that before and it is acceptable as long as the majority of refs are archived; remember, GA standard is not as high as FA where something like this would have to be 100% completed. On the subject of the copyright level, the 42% is fine and this context and good job cutting down the lyrics! You have two more issues remaining though; remove the target on samples in the second para of the lead and remove the comma after sophomore album in the body. --K. Peake 17:25, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake Done and done! Giacobbe talk 17:28, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe ✓ Pass now, amazing job per usual and no issues as far as I can see! --K. Peake 17:40, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- Kyle Peake Thank you for reviewing! Always a pleasure. Giacobbe talk 17:43, 22 February 2021 (UTC)
- (CA)Giacobbe As it is on my part to review the articles; I will probably be involved with you again soon due to the GAN backlog drive coming up next month! --K. Peake 17:47, 22 February 2021 (UTC)