Talk:Thomas Metcalfe (Kentucky politician)/GA1

GA Review

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Initial Comment

I will be reviewing this article in the next couple of days. MarquisCostello (talk) 18:18, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Some Comments

I actually had more time than i thought, so i have had a look at the article. Here are some initial comments:

In the lead section, there is this sentence:

Metcalfe defeated William T. Barry in the gubernatorial election of 1828. His predecessor, Joseph Desha was so stunned by his party's loss that he threatened not to vacate the governor's mansion.

I think you need to make it clear here that the 'his' in 'His predecessor' refers to W.T.Barry.

Actually, "his" refers to Metcalfe, as in "his predecessor as governor". But that just goes to make your point. I've clarified it now. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There is this sentence under the house of representatives section:

He opposed the Second Bank of the United States, but favored extension of credit to purchasers of public land.

I think this sentence could be clarified by adding what aspect of the bank Metcalfe was opposing (was it its size, leadership etc...).

Good question. Powell's Kentucky Governors and The Kentucky Encyclopedia both say "He opposed banks", apparently meaning all of them, which is kind of odd. At the moment, I can't even find where I got that he opposed the Second Bank of the United States specifically; apparently, he opposed banks in general. Maybe he was an advocate of burying your cash in the back yard! LOL It's frustrating, I know, but there aren't many reliable sources for several of Kentucky's governors, Metcalfe being one. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That is rather frustrating, never mind. Maybe something to add sometime in the future. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Do you have a date for the naming of Metcalfe county in his honour?

Yes. Metcalfe County was formed in 1860. I've added this. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the article on hold for now while you have a look at these points. I may post some other comments later. Regards, MarquisCostello (talk) 20:39, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Further Comments

I have had a change of plan and have had another look through. Here are some more comments:

Lead

It might be appropriate to add citations for the most important details in the lead section, even though these also appear later.

Not to be too obtuse, but which ones do you suggest? Many reviews ago, someone told me that the only thing that should be cited in the lead was direct quotations. Since the lead should not introduce new information, the cites in the body should cover the lead. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have looked at the guidelines for lead sections (WP:LEADCITE) and it directs that quotations and controversial material/material likely to be challenged should be referenced. Not all the lead really needs to be referenced in this case, but i might consider citing sources for 'He was also the first governor of Kentucky who was not a member of the Democratic-Republican Party' and for the numbers for the election result. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I have cited the election results, but the part about him being the first non-Democratic-Republican party governor may be a little harder to cite. A quick scan of my major sources this morning shows that none of them makes this claim explicitly. It is based on my own observation and research of the previous governors. All eight governors before Metcalfe (Shelby served twice) are at least GA level, and List of governors of Kentucky is FL; by observing these, it can be determined that Metcalfe was the first non-Democratic-Republican. I could perhaps cite it to this search result from NGA, although it calls the party Jeffersonian Republican except in the case of John Adair. Strange. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 13:19, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

If you look at William B. Allen's A History of Kentucky (pp. 92), it says that Metcalfe was the standard-bearer for the National Republican Party (read this wiki link for further details). Although I would refrain from calling Mr. Allen a liar (lol), I would look for other sources to verify this as well, since that would dispel any doubts if they are raised.--Pericles of Athens^Talk 03:25, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It is not Metcalfe's party affiliation that is in question here. It is the fact that he was the first non-Democratic-Republican to hold the governorship of Kentucky. From my research on Kentucky governors, I know this to be true. In fact, there wasn't much of a two-party system at all in Kentucky until the National Republicans came into being. Nationally, there was a Federalist party, but they were so hated in the state that they never really had any political presence. There were also the "Old Court" and "New Court" parties during the Old Court-New Court controversy in the mid-1820s, but they would more appropriately be called factions (or something similar) because they were built around the single issue of debt relief, which had pretty much petered out by the end of that decade. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 03:51, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ah! I see. If you just include some citations which point out the Democratic-Republican affiliations of the previous governors, then that should be sufficient even if you can't find a source which explicitly states that he was the first to be a National Republican (plus, there were only so many governors before him!).--Pericles of Athens^Talk 03:57, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I've included one behemoth cite from Powell, who does a one-page summary of each governor with a picture on the opposing page. Each one's party affiliation is at the top of the page. He uses the term "Jeffersonian Republican", but I'm pretty sure that's synonymous with Democratic-Republican. The cite looks a little awkward, but I think it should suffice. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 13:03, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's fine. MarquisCostello (talk) 14:20, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I don't think it looks awkward at all; I've seen much worse in regards to citations (by worse, I mean lengthy)! Besides, it's a good thing to be as meticulous and concise as possible on Wiki; it lends you greater credibility. Cheers.--Pericles of Athens^Talk 21:10, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'His political career began with several terms in the Kentucky House of Representatives.'

Do you know how many terms he served? If so, this would be better to include.

Yes. The Kentucky Encyclopedia says he served in the lower house from 1812 to 1816. Since those are one-year terms, he served four terms. I've changed the sentence to reflect that.

That is significantly clearer. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'In 1818, he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives.'

In order to prevent the reader losing track of the overview, mentioning his age at this point might be beneficial.

OK, I've changed the year to his age instead (based on the assumption that the elections were after his birthday that year, which I think is likely considering he was born in March). Trying to include both the year and his age seems to make for an awkward sentence, and the fact that "Sixteenth Congress" is linked makes it easy for a reader who is curious to find out about the year. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I may be missing something here, but in the version i am looking at the sentence has not changed. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Lack of attention to detail on my part. You were referencing the sentence in the lead (which is why this is under "Lead", duh.) Previously, I changed it in the body of the article. Fixed now. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 13:19, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Early Life

'settling near Russell's Cave in Fayette County, Kentucky.'

As you have already mentioned they relocated to Kentucky in the same sentence, i think you could take the Kentucky out of this bit. Alternatively, you can keep this and remove the earlier reference to Kentucky in the sentence.

Done. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'About 1806, Metcalfe married Nancy Mason of Fairfax, Virginia.'

About 1806? Does the cited source not confirm the date as 1806 exactly?

No. Actually, both Powell's Kentucky Governors and The Kentucky Encyclopedia say "about 1806". Perhaps the marriage records were lost. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, best to leave it as it is then. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Political Career

Metcalfe's political career began in 1812 when he was elected to represent Nicholas County in the Kentucky House of Representatives. His service was interrupted by the War of 1812. In 1813, he raised a company of volunteers and commanded them at the Battle of Fort Meigs. While he was away at war, the voters of his district re-elected him to the Kentucky House; only thirteen votes were cast against him.'

A mention of the number of terms served or him serving several terms in this part is essential. The date of his last term if available would help to put this period in the context of his career.

Agreed. A rather egregious and uncharacteristic omission on my part. Fixed now. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

In each of paragraphs two and three of the House of Representatives section, are the citations for the detail of the entire paragraph?

Yes, these are the only two sources I could find that related these anecdotes. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'Metcalfe resigned his seat in the House on June 1, 1828 in order to run for governor of Kentucky.'

The last part of this sentence could be reworded to something like 'run for the position of governor of Kentucky' or 'run for the governorship of Kentucky' in order to improve it slightly.

Done. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'Metcalfe's election marked the first time the governorship had been won by a candidate'

I would add the date of Metcalfe's election in this bit as a reference point for the reader.

I've added the year. If I remember correctly, the election spanned three days (as a matter of course) at this time in Kentucky history, but I don't have the exact dates. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The year will do just fine. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'However, only one Democratic-Republican would hold the office between Metcalfe's term and the election of Lazarus W. Powell in 1851.'

Just as a check, it should be Democratic-Republican and not 'non Democratic-Republican' in this sentence?

Yes, Metcalfe's election began a string of gubernatorial victories for the National Republican/Whig party in Kentucky that spanned 1828 to 1851, and was interrupted only by the brief term of John Breathitt, who died in office. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, just checking as an error of that nature is something i have done many times in the past. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'At the governor's recommendation, the legislature approved additional aid for education, and the creation of district schools'

For clarity, you might want to add which legislature is being referred to.

Done. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Later Life and Death

'Following his term as governor, Metcalfe represented Nicholas and Bracken Counties the Kentucky Senate from 1834 to 1838.'

Add an 'in' after 'Counties'.

Oopsie. I need my own personal copyeditor! :) Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

One error in an article is nothing to be ashamed of! MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

'In 1836, he served as a presidential elector. He presided over the Kentucky Whig Convention in Harrodsburg on August 26, 1839.'

Merging these two sentences together makes the prose easier to read.

Done. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any more available information concerning his retirement available, just to expand the last section slightly?

None that I have found.

Powell's Kentucky Governors says "In 1849, he retired to "Forest Retreat", his home in Nicholas County, where he engaged in farming until he died of cholera in 1855."
The Kentucky Encyclopedia says "[After his senatorial service], he lived quietly at Forest Retreat, his Nicholas County farm, until his death of cholera on August 18, 1855."
Harrison's Kentucky's Governors says "Shortly after [his senatorial service], he retired to Forest Retreat. He died there of cholera on August 18, 1855, and was buried in the family graveyard."

Apparently, the dude had a nice, quiet retirement (except for the whole cholera thing!) We should all be so lucky. LOL Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for that, maybe a section that could be expanded later. But the political career section is the most important, and seems to take up most of his life anyway. MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, i believe that will be all my comments, so i'll keep the article on hold while you have a look at them. Regards, MarquisCostello (talk) 21:27, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review. I've done my best to address your concerns. Let me know if more is needed. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 22:28, 22 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Additional Comment

Good edits, they have helped improve the article. Please see my comments on some of your responses above (N.B: i have made comments in the 'some comments' and 'further comments' sections). Regards, MarquisCostello (talk) 00:09, 23 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I just read the article as well. I fixed a couple citation errors and found only one grammatical mistake (a present tense phrase that should have been past tense). Other than that, it looks like Marquis has already gone over the bulk of issues needing polishing. As for a source that explicitly states the party affiliation of Thomas Metcalfe, I will try to search for that to help out a bit.--Pericles of Athens^Talk 03:17, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I just found a source that says Metcalfe was the standard-bearer for the National Republican Party when he ran for governor; look above where this issue is raised.--Pericles of Athens^Talk 03:26, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See response above. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 03:51, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Final Comments

Thanks to Acdixon and Pericles of Athens for the work on this article, and i'll pass it now. Well done! MarquisCostello (talk) 14:20, 24 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]