Talk:The Stag Convergence

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Stag Convergence/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 03:45, 30 May 2012 (UTC)

• Image: The image needs a better rationale on the image page. Right now its just a group of characters (who aren't described) standing around
• Lede: "In the episode, the guys…" Maybe use a term that's less colloquial, like main characters, etc.
• Lede: Put who play Howard and Bernadette in parenthesis after their names, same with the rest, like Rajesh
• Lede: "Commentators noted that there were only a few laughs here and there." -> "Commentators noted that the episode was not as heavy on jokes, compared to other episodes in the series."
• Plot: Put the actors who played the characters in parenthesis after their names appear for the first time
• Plot: "Sheldon is musing while eating lunch and asks which life-form humans should merge with. Raj wants to join a swan to have a long graceful neck he always wanted. Leonard suggests a horse for the height and genital size. Howard likes the idea of becoming a "kanga-Jew" that can dunk basketballs. Sheldon prefers lichens and fungi so that he can watch concerts from the top of trees while enjoying the sunshine. They also ask about Howard's bachelor party. Howard mentioned that he promised Bernadette no strippers. Raj and Sheldon want to take a wine tasting train trip through Napa Valley." -> "While discussing which life-form humans should merge with, Sheldon, Raj, and Leonard ask Howard about his bachelor party. Howard tells the group that he promised Bernadette no strippers, but Raj and Sheldon want to take a wine tasting train trip through Napa Valley instead."
• Plot: "While Penny was walking up the stairs with Leonard she told him that she didn't worry about him at the party since he never did anything crazy. Penny asks Leonard what the craziest thing he had ever done with a women is and that when they had sex in the ocean it wouldn't count. Amy is filming the girls making wedding party gifts and asking Bernadette what their first married sex position going to be. Penny tells Amy to start asking other bridal party questions which take all the fun out of it for Amy." -> "While Penny is walking up the stairs with Leonard she tells him that she will not worry about him at the party since he has never done anything crazy. Leonard tells her that the craziest thing he has ever done is have sex in the ocean. Meanwhile, Amy is filming the girls making wedding party gifts. She asks Bernadette what their first married sex position is going to be. Penny tells Amy to start asking other bridal party questions, however, this beings to take the fun out of the situation for Amy."
• Plot: "She is wondering how she can marry a man that she doesn't seem to know." -> "She beings to wonder how she can marry a man that she does not seem to know."
• Plot: "…and can't get…" Change 'can't' to 'cannot'
• Plot: "…he also doesn't like…" Change 'doesn't' to 'does not'
• Production: "The story and concept of the episode was written by series creator Bill Prady, Steve Holland and Eric Kaplan, with teleplay by series creator Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro, Jim Reynolds. It was directed by Peter Chakos. Guest stars included Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, John Ross Bowie as Barry Kripke and Wil Wheaton as himself." -> "The story and concept for "The Stag Convergence" were written by series co-creator Bill Prady, and writers Steve Holland and Eric Kaplan. The teleplay for the episode was written by series co-creator Chuck Lorre and writers Steven Molaro and Jim Reynolds. The episode was directed by Peter Chakos. Guest stars included Kevin Sussman as Stuart Bloom, John Ross Bowie as Barry Kripke, and Wil Wheaton as himself."
• Ratings: Move Ref 2 to the end of the sentence
• Ratings: "It acquired a 4.1 rating in the 18–49 demographic, according to Nielsen ratings, meaning that it was seen by 0.9% of all 18 to 49-year-olds." -> "It received a 4.1 rating/13% share among adults between the ages of 18 and 49. This means that it was seen by 4.1% of all 18- to 49-year-olds, and 13% of all 18- to 49-year-olds watching television at the time of the broadcast."
• Ratings: Add a citation for the last sentence of the ratings section
• Reception: There's a lot of issues with double periods, such as "…immediately.)'." or "…their characters.'." Fix these
• Reception: "…toward the women characters".[5] While there are three…" Remove the close parenthesis and ref, this is in the middle of a sentence
• Reception: "Carla Day of TV Fanatic gave a higher praise in her review." -> "Carla Day of TV Fanatic gave a more positive review."
• Reception: "Jill Mader of Inside Pulse also gave more praise for the episode." -> "Jill Mader of Inside Pulse also gave the episode a more positive review."
• Reception: Italicized the The Big Bang Theory in the Mader quote
• References: Refs 3, 5, 6, and 7 need authors
• References: Refs 1, 3, 4, and 7 need publishing dates
• References: The A.V. Club should be linked and italicized
• References: "TVGuide.com" should be TV Guide
• References: "TV.IGN.COM" should just by IGN and not italicized

On hold for seven days.--Gen. Quon (talk) 19:51, 31 May 2012 (UTC)

Only a couple days, and still some work to go.--Gen. Quon (talk) 16:53, 5 June 2012 (UTC)

I have addressed most of these issues. TBrandley • talk • contributions 15:07, 6 June 2012 (UTC)

Alright, I tweaked it a bit, and I think it's good to go now. Pass.-Gen. Quon (talk) 16:02, 6 June 2012 (UTC)

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