Talk:The Smeezingtons/GA2

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 21:48, 7 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Will leave some initial comments within 48 hours. I mainly focus on copyediting issues. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 21:48, 7 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

"including the ASCAP Pop Music Awards for Songwriters Ari Levine (from The Smeezingtons)" - somewhat confusing. Delete "from the Smeezingtons"?
"and the 2011 ASCAP Rhythm & Soul Music Awards for "Nothin' On You" as Top Rap Song" - the Top Rap Song?
Other than that the lead summarises the article well, complying per WP:LEAD and meeting the GA criteria

The issues raised have been adressed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:35, 10 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Formation and early works

"He said that upon moving to L.A" - abbreviations should begin with their full name (Los Angeles)
"He said that upon moving to L.A. he was " - syntax error
"In 2008, Lawrence was an under-appreciated Los Angeles artist, Mars a struggling singer-songwriter - why was he under-appreciated? Sounds like original research
"They ventured into the US market," - should be U.S. (assuming this article uses American Spelling)

Notable collaborations

"The Smeezingtons quickly landed the singles " - this shouldn't be in bold
Be careful of overlinking in this section. "...became another successful song for The Smeezingtons, reaching No. 1 in the United Kingdom" - United Kingdom is already linked in this section

These issues raised have been addressed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:44, 10 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Influences and style

"In an article by American Songwriter" - should be italicised

Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:53, 10 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

References

The tool server is currently down so I had to check the references manually. They all seem to be working and I couldn't find any that seemed unreliable, so this meets the GA criteria.

On hold

This is a well written article, worthy of becoming GA. The only things standing in the way of it becoming GA are those copyediting and syntax issues I had mentioned above. The references appear fine and everything else almost meets the GA criteria. I'll put this on hold for seven days until those issues have been addressed. Thanks, ☠ Jaguar ☠ 13:08, 9 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

After seeing the improvements made to this article I think it now meets the GA criteria. It is overall well written, engaging and comprehensive. Long story short it is now a GA. Well done! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 18:22, 11 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.