Talk:The Lazy Song/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 21:55, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

I'm going to take this article's GAN, although I must warn you it is filled with somewhat serious issues.

Links

Disambiguation links

* Digital Download redirects to Digital download. Please correct it.

External links

*Correct these links.

• • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Prose

Lead

• The first paragraph is unstructured and goes into overdetail. Rewrite it like ""The Lazy Song" is a song recorded by American singer-songwriter Bruno Mars for his debut studio album Doo-Wops & Hooligans (2010). It was serviced to contemporary hit radios in the United States as the album's third single by Atlantic and Elektra Records." Do not include UK release information. Also, address in the first paragraph the writers and producers and the motif of laziness.
• The second paragraph should have the producers and writers information removed along with the development as I've requested that information to go to the first paragraph. Also, just a tip: didn't feel, not felt. With that being said, merge this paragraph with the first.
• Don't write "borrows from roots reggae", it's merely copying from the Composition section. Write something like "Musically, [the song] is styled in roots reggae" or "is a roots reggae song".
  • Still grammatically incorrect. Musically, "The Lazy Song" is styled in (linked) roots reggae (linked), while lyrically, it is an anthem to laziness. ← how it should be; "hangover hymn" isn't proved by any source. What is close is "hymn to sloth".
    • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:50, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

*You mix the lyrical information with the critical reception. Do not do this. Leave the lyrical content in the first paragraph and move Critical reception to the second paragraph.

• Incorrect use of punctuation: ".;" – not acceptable. Do not mix them.
• After evaluating the Composition section, there's only Lewis Corner addressing the song's lyrics though he doesn't really talk about the general point of the song. You'll have to find a source in the Composition section as I've pointed out below and then substitute the information here too.
• US Billboard magazine's Hot 100 → US Billboard Hot 100; link Billboard Hot 100 all in one.
• The information about the charts is cluttered and does not flow. How about: "It reached number four on the US Billboard Hot 100, while it topped the charts in Denmark and charted on most international markets within the top five."?
• "Cameron Duddy and Bruno Mars" → remove Bruno. Also, add some short information about what occurs in the video.
  • Fooling around is casual language, not applicable here. Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
    • How about 'jest around' or 'play around'? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• "digital single of 2011" → (...) singles. Make sure to add this information in the Chart performance section with the reference, but remove the ref. here.
• The Spotify information could be in the Critical reception section maybe (once I point out the issues in that section I'll give you some tips on how it should be).
  • Done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Production and recording

• To be in sync with the content of the section, rename it "Development and production".
• "In an interview with SOS fellow Smeezington, Ari Levine explained how they came up with the song "was a very tough song to write (...)"" → the quote here doesn't make much sense. Make it: "[...] Ari Levine explained how they came up with the song: "[It] was a very tough song to write [...]".
• ’ → ' (same goes for K'naan)
• SOS → Sound on Sound and add a comma aswell.
  • Remove the comma after 'fellow Smeezington'. Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:40, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

*Mixed has the letter M incorrectly capitalized.

• "assistant mixing" → assistants for mix
  • Corrected. Except for K'naan I don't understand what you want me to corrected in there, could you explaining it.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:20, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
    • K'naan also has the different apostrophe. Prism △ 00:24, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
      • Fixed. Thanks MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:59, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Composition

• Remove Jawaiian as it is not justified by any source.
  • Corrected.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:52, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

*'moderate reggae beat' - change beat to groove so it isn't directly copied from the source.

• Move the Lewis Corner sentence to after the digital sheet stuff.
• "According to the digital sheet music published by Sony/ATV Music Publishing, key of B major" – doesn't make sense
• ""The Layz Song" opens with a chords from an acoustic guitar section and scratching, later a keyboard melody is added, being three minutes and fifteen seconds long." – 'layz' is a typo; the sentence is not supported by any reference. The length part is okay as long as you add an iTunes reference, the rest not, as it is supported by the sheet music reference which is based on a piano version of the song. (!)
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:15, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
• "The single version of the song features whistling, which is not present on the album version." – this isn't supported by any source either. (!)
  • Fixed.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:52, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

*"Lyrically, the song makes reference to MTV, the P90X home fitness DVDs, and the Cali Swag District song "Teach Me How to Dougie"." – this is supported by a source, though the reference is not reliable and they don't really write that, so it's basically the same as going to a MetroLyrics page and writing what you think the song is about. Find a reliable source that actually talks about the theme of the song. Fixed, except for the album version and whistling version, still trying to find a reliable source for that.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 00:17, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

• Do you consider this a reliable source? http://smashgods.com/2011/09/04/singin-the-songs-of-summer-2011/ MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 01:42, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
  • Not really.
    • Also find this one. http://www.firstnews.co.uk/bored/bruno-mars-the-lazy-song-i7078 I think it's even more unreliable. Onl y if you own the copy of the album or the song smaple that was uploaded doesn't feature the whistle, can I use that as a source? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:22, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
      • Just add the Firstnews one. Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
        • Done.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:46, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Release

*Warner → the Warner Music Group

• Remix → remix
• "Later on, May 27, 2011 the same CD single released in UK was also released on Germany." – improper placement of first comma; 'the same CD single released in UK' → 'the CD single'
  • Fixed the release part. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:39, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
    • Add a comma after the last 2011. Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
      • Done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:37, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Reception and accolades

• Rename the section to Critical reception.
• 'The Lazy Song' → "The Lazy Song"
• critics → [[Music journalism|contemporary music critics]]
• Aren't roots reggae and reggae pretty much the same thing? I was going to propose you to move the reggae music-influenced sentence to Composition, but then again, you already have there that it's influenced by roots reggae. If so, you can remove this.
• Remove About.com information. See WP:SPS.
• AOL Radio Blog isn't reliable, I think. Neither is DJBooth. Either remove them or show me a WP:RS/N discussion that says they're reliable.
• "Leah Greenblatt, considered" – remove the comma
• Create a sub-section named "Accolades".
• If you're going to address the MP3 Music Awards, substitute the MetroLyrics reference with a more reliable one.
• " It also received a nomination for "Choice Summer: Song" at the 2011" → It also received a nomination for the "Choice Summer Song" award at the 2011 Teen Choice Awards.
• "In 2012 the song" → "In 2012, the song"
• This part of the section doesn't flow. How about: " In 2012 the song was nominated for "International Song of the Year" at the NRJ Music Awards.[24] In the same year, the single won Most Performed Song at ASCAP Pop Music Awards.[25]" → "In 2012, the song was nominated at the NRJ Music Awards and ASCAP Pop Music Awards for, respectively, the International Song of the Year and Most Performed Song, having won the latter."
  • All fixed but the MP3 music awards. I can't find a source. I only find sources for the winners nto the nominees. Can I use one of those? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 18:05, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
    • Keep the MetroLyrics reference then. Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Chart performance

• ""The Lazy Song" entered the US Billboard Hot 100 chart at number 82 on October 23, 2010, spending a total of 27 weeks on the chart and peaking at number 4." → the source presented does not support the first part, just the peak
  • It does on the right side, you scrol down to the song and you see a time clock put thre the mouse and it says next to that clock that spent 27 weeks.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:56, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
    • It doesn't say it entered at number 82... Prism △ 00:24, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
      • Fixed.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 01:12, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
        • You didn't fix this though, you removed the part of the 27 weeks which was verified by the source and kept what wasn't... Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
          • My bad, already corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:35, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

*The Digital Spy reference does not support any of the claims about CD single and etc? No. It's just a review. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:56, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

• • Then it shouldn't be supporting that statement. You also have to find an RS for that sentence too. Prism △ 00:24, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Couldn't find so I erase that info. Everything else has been fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 01:25, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Music video

• Development and synopsis
  • Almost everything of the first paragraph is a violation of standard Wikipedia guidelines. It was directly copied from the Billboard source.
  • "The Lazy Song" official video was nominated at the 2011 for Best Choreography. → "The Lazy Song"'s [...]; what cerimony was it nominated for?
    • Corrected, I worked out the wiki violation on the first paragraph, please take a look. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:13, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

Live performances

• Rename the section to Live performances, not with the capitalized P.
• Remove the image as he isn't really performing the song.
• 'Soulful' should be between quotation marks.
• "On October 22, 2010 [...]" – add a comma immediately after 2010.
• 'Final' → 'Finale'
• "On July 28" → "On July 28 of that year"
  • Fixed the live performances. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:44, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

Reference style

(Notice that this has been posted before you removed or added references after I've asked you to, so the FN numbers may change a bit).

• FN2 – USA Today should be in |work= parameter, so it is italicized (it is a publication).
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN3 – missing label (|publisher= parameter)
  • Which one is this? I can't find it. Thank you. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN5 – The New York Times should be wikilinked.
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN6 – MusicNotes (not Music Notes) should be in |publisher= parameter so it isn't italicized.
  • Done. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN9 – Same as FN6 for AllAccess (not All Access).
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• Amazon references shouldn't be italicized!
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• iTunes Store references should have the initials of the country after iTunes Store (example: iTunes Store (US)) and the publisher which is [[Apple Inc.|Apple]]
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:05, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN16 – Allmusic → AllMusic (wikilink it), should have a publisher which is Rovi Corporation (also, wikilink it).
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:05, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN21 – The Guardian should be wikilinked; should have publisher which is Guardian Media Group (wikilink it).
  • Fiexd. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:05, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN23 – Remove work and publisher parameters and substitute by |publisher=[[PopCrush]]
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:05, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• I forgot to point out in the appropriate section that Celebrity-Gossip is not reliable. At all. Find another source.
  • I replaced it by a new link, it's in French. It's that a problem? The only link I found in English was http://www.omgsamantha.com/2012-nrj-music-awards-arrivals-winners/ not reliable, I believe. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:04, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• Unstable access date formats. Pick one, you can't use Month Day, Year in one and then Day Month Year in other, or even DAY-MONTH-YEAR in other. Pick one according to Bruno Mars' nationality and use the date his country uses.
  • All fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:43, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN48 has Ugo.com typed twice, italicized and not? Remove the italicized word. Also, the non-italicized word should have just Ugo.
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:43, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN50 is unreliable.
  • Replaced. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:10, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN51 has myx italicized, where it should not be.
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:51, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN56 should have only Neon Limelight.
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:18, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN59 and FN53 are inappropriately used. Use reliable independent sources, not YouTube.
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN57 has CBS Radio italicized where it should not be.
  • Corrected. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:51, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN89 and 90 shouldn't have Billboard and Prometheus Global Media wikilinked as they already were.
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:20, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

• FN51 and FN52 shouldn't have MTV or MTV News italicized.
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN50 should be replaced with Ugo Entertainment (the publisher).
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN49 should not have Idolator italicized.
  • Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 23:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
• FN56 shouldn't have Billboard wikilinked and should have publisher (Prometheus Global Media).
  • Done.23:32, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Prism △ 22:39, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

Review history

• 1 March 2014: Analysis and commentary of all sections; analysis of reference style and reliability. Prism △ 22:34, 1 March 2014 (UTC)
  • Could you withdrawn or strach/line the topics already corrected? It would make my work a lot easier and easier to see what's missing. Thank You. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:54, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
    • As everything is done and the article is a lot better now, I'm passing it. However, I probably would not recommend an FAC anytime soon. Congratulations! Prism △ 13:48, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
      • Thank You for your patience, I hope we can work sometime in the future, again. For that upgrate it would need more information, maybe in the future. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:18, 4 March 2014 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.