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Talk:The Boat Race 1895/GA1

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Reviewer: Montanabw (talk · contribs) 00:05, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. See below
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. See below
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment.

Comments: Mostly I see some need to flesh a few things out or clarify what is being said- style issues, essentially.

  1. Lead way too short. One sentence on the actual race, plus some generic filler.
    Lead expanded a touch, is it adequate? The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Recommend {{frac}} templates where relevant, i.e. {{frac|2|1|4}} = 2+1⁄4
    I'm going to have to decline this, I may use a special character if you prefer, e.g. ¼, but I'm not sure how accessible that is. The {{frac}} template produces such ghastly results, I couldn't possibly accommodate it... The Rambling Man (talk) 12:41, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  3. "The rivalry is a major point of honour between the two universities, as of 2014 it is followed throughout the United Kingdom and broadcast worldwide." IMHO, a semicolon between the clauses or two separate sentences would be better structure.
    Yes, I have done this. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:41, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  4. "Oxford went into the race as reigning champions, having beaten Cambridge by three-and-a-half lengths in the previous year's race, and held the overall lead, with 28 victories to Cambridge's 22.[7]" Remind us that this was 1895, and clarify that overall lead was at that time.
    I think the addition of "the 1895 race" makes it clear enough that the tally was representative of that at the time. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:41, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  5. Second paragraph of Background section appears to be a single run on sentence from He--. (smile) You might want to flesh that out a bit. Also explain "trial eights" or link to it, that's a rowing term the uninitiated (which still includes myself) don't quite know... implied it's like a junior varsity team, but do clarify. Also, the angle that the Oxford coach was from Cambridge is one of the amusing and unique things about this race and should be something you add to the lead (which requires some bulking out anyway)
    I've rephrased and added a little to the lead about R. C. Lehmann. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
    Gah, forgot about the trial eights. It's not junior varsity, it's like the downselection process, two crews containing the "best" 16 rowers and 2 coxes race each other and the final Blue boat is selected following the race. Linked to the main BR article where this is touched upon. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:09, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  6. I'm a little confused about James Brook Close - you way he was a "non-rowing president" but then mention that he rowed in previous years twenty years prior, so would all Presidents be non-rowing? Except later you note the other team's President was apparently one of the rowing team, so I'm confused.
    No, most Presidents would have been undergraduates at the university and most (notwithstanding my comment below) would have rowed. It was unusual for James Brook Close to have been elected as President, I've added stuff from the only source I have which covers it in any detail, sadly I can't cite my previous sentence, but it is relatively obvious from the 160 articles that the president usually rows. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  7. Is the President of the club always also the captain of the team? - and how can this person be non-rowing sometimes? How do they compare vis a vis being a coach?
    The University Boat Club President is elected by the captains of the various college boat clubs. Sometimes, a president is either injured or ill or even decides that he himself is not good enough to row in the Boat Race, so he recuses and becomes a "non-rowing president". Captains and Presidents may act as coaches as well, but that's rare because generally they're in the boat so they can't easily see what's going on. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:41, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  8. What was the significance of being "called away" if Close wasn't rowing anyway? - sounds like for a long time?? Does "called away" have a specific meaning in these schools or in rowing - is it a Britishism? To me, "called away" means a very short-term thing, literally the time it might take to answer a phone call) ... maybe rephrase for clarity there.
    Well hopefully the addition I've made will make it clear that Close had been brought in to stem the dissent. And the source doesn't cover for how long he was gone, but do remember that he would have had to take a boat to get there. And back. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  9. "Both crews suffered variously..." Maybe open that paragraph with this phrase, then go on to discuss all the things that happened.
    I've reorganised, what do you think? The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

OK, that's all I can nitpick on this one. Links all check out as do refs. Proceed to fix! Montanabw(talk) 00:33, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Montanabw, much appreciated. The Rambling Man (talk) 13:00, 9 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
@Montanabw: any chance you'd be revising this? Thanks again. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:16, 14 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Green tickY Sorry! Been off-wiki for most of the last week or so (just busy IRL, nothing of cosmic significance.) Your changes work for me. I'd still like a little more comprehensive lead, but that's just me talking, not the GA criteria. Good to go! Montanabw(talk) 23:12, 14 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

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