Talk:Teaneck, New Jersey/GA1
GA Reassessment
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I'll be reassessing this article's Good Article status as part of the GA sweep. This is an effort to make sure that all older GA's are up to snuff. Mm40 (talk) 12:38, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- OK, this is sufficient. Mm40 (talk) 13:59, 10 October 2009 (UTC)
Readthrough
[edit]Lead
- In the lead sentence, the second "is" is redundant. Also, after taking that "is" out, in the comma needed?
- Not needed, but if you're really bored, you can go through and unlink all the dates. Also, particularly in the lead, some dates are linked while others are not. Make this consistent. (again not needed)
- "…followed the results of a…" is that "results" or "result"?
- "On May 3, 1921 and on June 1, 1926…" the second "on" is redundant.
- The first sentence of the fourth paragraph is a bit messed up.
- The second sentence of the third paragraph is a bit long, and "site" is used twice in the second half of the sentence.
- In the last sentence of the lead, Jew and African American are linked, but Hispanic and Asian aren't. I would unlink the first two.
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 00:26, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
History
- Link Oratam and Overpeck Creek (which is linked in the next section).
- Clarify, did Oratam lead all Lenape's or only the Lenape's in the area?
- Why did the troubles stop persisting in 1655?
- George Washington is linked in the lead, it doesn't need to be linked in "The Revolutionary War period".
- "…Washington's famous withdrawal…" famous is definitely WP:WEASEL
- New Bridge Landing is linked both in the lead and "The Revolutionary War period"
- Remove "The" from section headings
- Does "…,and Teaneck was right in the middle of it" really need to be there?
- "…were aroused at mid-century…" the middle of which century?
- For the last sentence of "The Revolutionary War period", how about this: "They traveled daily to New York City, thus becoming Teaneck's first suburban commuters." The current version seems a bit wordy.
- "…central part being a tract crisscrossed by roads…" I think "tract" is a bit ambiguous/redundant.
- "…put through the New Jersey General Assembly on February 18, 1895 and in the…" take out "in"
- Some instances of "African American" are hyphenated while others aren't; make this consistent.
- "…in the Northeast corner…" Lowercase "Northeast".
- "…near the Bryant School…" take out "the".
- Too many "and"s in the "Historic homes" section.
- Link all of the "Historic homes"; even if they don't have articles, NRHP places are notable and the articles will be created eventually. Mm40 (talk) 21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 00:52, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Geography
- No where in the article is in mentioned where Teaneck is (north, south).
- "…of which, 6.05 square miles (15.67 km2) of it is land and 0.20 square miles (0.52 km2) of it (3.20%) is water." I think both "of it"s can be taken out. I'll leave it up to you where to put the water percentage.
- Directions shouldn't be capitalized unless they are part of place names (i. e. West Orange is west of Orange).
- "municipally owned" should be hyphenated.
- "…such as Chicago…" can be removed, I think people will understand what inland means.
- New York City is linked twice in the "Climate" paragraph. Mm40 (talk) 22:05, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 16:29, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Demographics
- Why's a picture of the post office in this section? I would suggest moving it.
- The number of households in mentioned twice.
- "…and an additional 4.3% listed United States of America." I think that's "listed American". Mm40 (talk) 22:05, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Post office image was moved; The number of households is listed tqice to show how the number breaks down and is a standard loaded for population data nationwide. Alansohn (talk) 16:39, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Economy
- There's no article for "Streetscape project", so you may want to elaborate a bit.
- Link Class A office space. Mm40 (talk) 00:17, 28 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 22:02, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Government
- "From its founding…" I think "Following" would be more accurate than "From", because from might imply that the system is still in use.
- "…the Council was expanded…" "was" is redundant (I think).
- The 37th district link does not go to a section, only the article.
- The last sentence of "Federal, state and county representation" needs an "and".
- "…72% of the vote here…" don't use "here", also in the next sentence.
- Link property tax.
- "…result of long term labor agreements." I think "long term" should be hyphenated.
- The last paragraph of "Taxation" was already mentioned. Mm40 (talk) 00:17, 28 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 23:21, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
MoS
[edit]As an MoS nerd, I'm going to go over the article for more obscure MoS aspects (WP:DASH) after this review. Mm40 (talk) 21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- I think the lead can be improved. I'd put the last paragraph, about history, as the second paragraph. Also, what's now the second paragraph can be made longer. Perhaps add an overview of historic/important sites, anything notable about arts and culture, etc. Mm40 (talk) 12:51, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- Much better now, thank you. Mm40 (talk) 21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- "…Washington's famous withdrawal…" famous is definitely WP:WEASEL.
- …into a spectacular Victorian mansion" again, weaseling.
- The second paragraph of "Development after World War II" is full of weasels. Mm40 (talk) 21:07, 27 September 2009 (UTC)
- All items listed in this section have been addressed. Alansohn (talk) 23:21, 30 September 2009 (UTC)
Other
[edit]After me telling you on your talk page to fix dead links, most are done. There is still one, Teaneck Community Calender, which isn't working. After this is fixed and I check over images, I'll close this review. Cheers, Mm40 (talk) 11:31, 1 October 2009 (UTC)
No image issues, last things: there is one {{fact}} and a couple of unreferenced paragraphs in the "History" section. As per procedure, I'm giving you seven days to fix these. Mm40 (talk) 11:40, 1 October 2009 (UTC)
I've updated the education section statistics to reflect the 2008-09 school year. —Preceding unsigned comment added by LenMinNJ (talk • contribs) 13:25, 5 October 2010 (UTC)