Talk:Swifton Center

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Swifton Center/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: AmericanAir88 (talk · contribs) 23:04, 7 September 2019 (UTC)

I decided to take this review on as a result of your dedication and commitment. Same as last time, I split issues up into Major and basic. Major are GA criteria based which could be grounds for quick failure or discussion. Basic is usually copy editing and other issues to satisfy the GA criteria. AmericanAir88^(talk) 23:04, 7 September 2019 (UTC)

Major issues

• No Copy-violations. 0% which is impressive.
• No dead links
• No Tags

Passes major issues with flying colors. AmericanAir88^(talk) 00:35, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

Issues

• "The mall had undergone a severe decline in tenancy by the early 1980s"

Why?

• "Despite initial success, the renovated mall underwent another severe decline in tenancy by the mid-1990s."

Why?

• I think both of the "why"s are addressed later in the article already. The first decline was due to deferred maintenance and a lack of escalation clause; the second by the closure of Elder-Beerman and J. J. Newberry. These points are built on later in the paragraph.

• [Plans for... South end] sentence is run-on
• Features of the center included parking for up to 3,000 cars and a tunnel for delivery trucks, and building costs were estimated at $12 million

Sentence needs improvement

• "Swifton Center opened for business on October 24, 1956. The central mall corridor was lined with protective canopies, and featured a "park-like" design with several redwood benches."

Anything else that made it "park-like". Also the news article calls it a city in a city instead of parklike if that means anything.

• [The Rollman... each department] needs improvement with commas and flow.

• Tightened up the aforementioned copy editing and removed "park-like" since it wasn't elaborated on in the source.

• "by a 66-year-old female stunt diver"

Any name for the diver?

• Added name.

• Sock hop should get wikilinked

• Added link.

• "Major tenants besides Mabley & Carew, G. C. Murphy, Kroger, and Walgreens included Lerner New York, Baker Shoes, and Hancock Fabrics." > "New Major tenants included Lerner New York, Baker Shoes, and Hancock Fabrics."

• Copy edited.

• Were vacancies a result of no renovations?

• Clarified.

• "hired a consulting firm"

Who?

• The cited article doese not name the firm.

• "since many of the former mall tenants had relocated across the street "

Any notable tenants that did?

• Added.

• "Grand reopning"

Spelling

• Fixed.

• Did the mall really go that fast to MidPointe Crossing? That last paragraph seems a bit rushed and needs some elaboration.

• There was very little coverage of the Jordan Crossing years. I tried to flesh that out as best as I could. All but one or two hits in the archive from about 2007-09 are just ads for businesses.

AmericanAir88^(talk) 00:47, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

• @AmericanAir88: I think I've addressed all your issues. Ten Pound Hammer • ^{(What did I screw up now?)} 01:21, 10 September 2019 (UTC)

Comments

• @TenPoundHammer: Excellent article as always. Very impressed with your work and the article registering a 0% copy-violation. Issues are above. AmericanAir88^(talk) 00:48, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

• @AmericanAir88: I'll work on addressing your issues tomorrow night. I had a really long day and need some rest. Ten Pound Hammer • ^{(What did I screw up now?)} 02:15, 9 September 2019 (UTC)

• @AmericanAir88: Placed this in the wrong spot. I think I addressed all your issues. Ten Pound Hammer • ^{(What did I screw up now?)} 22:53, 10 September 2019 (UTC)

@TenPoundHammer: Indeed you did. ✓ Pass AmericanAir88^(talk) 01:36, 11 September 2019 (UTC)