Talk:Sue Bailey Thurman/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 14:54, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll have this to you tomorrow at the latest JAGUAR 14:54, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Jaguar. I must say I looked in google books on her to try to find something else and like SusunW's previous article found very little. Again she and others who contributed have done an impeccable research job and made this really comprehensive I think.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:27, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

"Thurman played an active role in establishing international student organizations to help prevent foreign students feeling isolated while studying abroad, organized one of the first international scholarship programs for African-American women" - this sentence reads choppy. Are these two things connected? Is a missing "and" needed here?

Organizing was meant, I've split the sentence though.♦ Dr. Blofeld 16:54, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"After her death in 1996, she donated the couple's vast archives to numerous universities" - doesn't sound right, it makes it sound like she is donating a different couple's archives!

Left?♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:00, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

See comments below on last point. SusunW (talk) 17:14, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"discussing race relations and evaluating the parallels between the situation with Indians and the British on the one hand and African Americans and white Americans on the other" - 'hands' sounds a bit informal, would sound better as discussing race relations whilst simultaneously evaluating the parallels between the situation with Indians and the British and between African Americans and white Americans

Tweaked.

" During their meeting with Rabindranath Tagore in Santiniketan she spoke about "The History of Negro Music"," - why is this capitalised? Is it a title of a work?

Decapitalised, but if it is actually a work Susan can readd it!

It was the title of her paper. changed it to read she presented a paper "The History of Negro Music" SusunW (talk) 17:07, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Banfield was a goddaughter of Thurman, the mother of Sondra Elise Banfield Dailey, Gilbert Leslie Banfield, Jr., Karen Evans, Adrienne Banfield-Jones and grandmother of Jada Pinkett Smith" - are most of these names notable to include?

Perhaps not but it's OK I think.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:00, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The official African-American delegation included W.E.B" - what is WEB? Unless I missed something before, I didn't see this in the article?

Susun? W.E.B. Dubois is a person, a very famous person who founded the NAACP and is cited in the article several times and linked to his page.SusunW (talk) 17:04, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Among the papers of MLK" - similar thing here, I'm not sure what MLK stands for

Susun? MLK is Martin Luther King. I have no idea how to address that. The acronym is extremely common and used more often that even his name, even the holiday is referred to as MLK. I guess we could just spell out his name again, but seems redundant. SusunW (talk) 17:04, 29 August 2015 (UTC) (Just to make sure I typed MLK in both Google and Wikipedia and both return Martin Luther King). SusunW (talk) 17:17, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Nothing about Thurman's donation of her archives in the Legacy section

Well it says "Sue and Howard Thurman's largest collection of documents is housed at Boston University". Perhaps Susun could add a sentence about donating the resources first though.

Done. I changed it to read After her death in 1996, she and Howard's vast archives were donated SusunW (talk) 17:14, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Is that right? It says that the materials were burned to several universities Tenorcnj (talk) 20:12, 14 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References

No dead links

On hold

This is an excellent article, well done on all the work put into this! Once all of the above are clarified then this should be good to go. I've had time to check the sources and they all appear OK and well used within the context. JAGUAR 16:10, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Cheers Jaguar, I'll let SusunW respond while I fix the sfn stuff on the other article!♦ Dr. Blofeld 16:22, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

All done Jaguar I think.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:18, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for addressing them! This one should be good to go, well done

JAGUAR 17:31, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

You are very fast. Thank you so much Jaguar SusunW (talk) 17:48, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]