Talk:Stronger (Britney Spears song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Basilisk4u (talk · contribs) 01:12, 30 October 2011 (UTC)

Hi! I will be reviewing this article for GA. More than two months is too long to wait for a review. Please bear with me as I may be a bit busy for the next few days. Cheers! Basilisk4u (talk) 01:12, 30 October 2011 (UTC)

Hey, the article is looking pretty good, nice work! I just have a few concerns that should be addressed. I am starting with the prose and I will break it down into sections. Basilisk4u (talk) 16:27, 30 October 2011 (UTC)

Notes

Lead

• "After meeting up with producers Max Martin and Rami in Sweden, the singer started to record several songs for the album" - The "started" to record is not necessary, unless these sessions were not completed in Sweden.
  • Also, the Rami link goes to a disambig page. I think that his full name, Rami Yacoub, should be in the article, unless Rami is his official stage name that people would know him better by.

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:28, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

• "It received positive reviews from music critics, who considered the song as innovative" ---> "who described the song as innovative." I think that would be better. Also, innovative in what way? Musically? Lyrically? Clarify that.

• Clarified in some way — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:28, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

• "An accompanying music video was directed by Joseph Kahn, who considered it as a departure from Spears' previous music videos." Same here, briefly clarify how this was a departure from her other music videos.

• Also — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:28, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

• "The concept was entirely created by Spears herself, who wanted to do a dance sequence on a chair, drive in a car and break-up witha boyfriend on it." This sentence is a bit strange. I actually don't think these details are needed in the lead, probably just mentioning that she created the concept is good enough. Also, break-up is a noun, while the verb is without the hyphen.

• Done/Removed — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 09:28, 3 November 2011 (UTC)

• This is just a curiosity, but has she really only performed the song in two of her concert tours? I would think that being such a popular song she would play it at every concert.

Okay, that is all for the lead :)

Background and composition

• "In 1999, Spears started to work on her second studio album" --> began work

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "After meeting up with Max Martin and Rami Yacoub in Sweden, the singer started to record several songs for the album" I think it should just be "recorded several songs" since she seemed to have finished songs while in Sweden

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "features a heavy innovative dance beat" - Again, innovative in what way? And when the source says it is innovative it should be in quotes.

• I removed it, because couldn't think it of what kind of innovation is. The source says the same as its written. — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "Music critics noticed the song as Spears' declaration of independence, which is perceived in self-empowerment lines such as 'I'm not your property' and 'I don't need nobody', despite not being written by the singer, while they speculated that the song is directed to the singer's record label and her management." This sentence is a bit long. Perhaps break it into two sentences, and I don't think the part about Spears not writing the song is necessary here.

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "David Browne of Entertainment Weekly compared "Stronger" to Rolling Stones' "The Last Time" (1965)." What aspect of the song did Browne compare it to?

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Critical response

• Stephanie McGrath of Jam! considered the song "the best dance track" of Oops!, while commenting "is it every bit as good as *Nsync's "Bye, Bye, Bye" or The Backstreet Boys' "The One"." ---> "deeming the song "every bit as good as..."

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• The part in the quote about "Don't Go Knockin on My Door" is not needed, just remove that part

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "David Veitch of Calgary Sun considered "Stronger" as 'another boom-bastic upbeat track'" --> considered "Stronger" to be

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "A review of NME" --> A review by the NME staff

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Chart performance

• The United States performance should be discussed first, as it is her home country

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "from the United Kingdom, falling to number eleven in the following." In the following what? haha

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "for selling over 125,000 units of the single." This exact wording is used three times in the paragraph, try and mix it up a bit

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Music video

• "Kahn revealed that the first thing that came to his mind about the concept was a chair sequence in Janet Jackson's music video for her single "The Pleasure Principle"" --> Kahn revealed that upon hearing Spears' chair idea, he was immediately reminded of Janet Jackson's music video for her single "The Pleasure Principle""

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• Make sure all uses of Britney are made into Spears instead

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Live performances and covers

"Then, a giant metal orb was lowered onstage and lifted again to reveal Spears standing behind it, wearing glittery jeans and an orange halter top, while opening the show with a dance-oriented performance of the song." Try to make this into two sentences

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• "On the episode, McHale's character Artie has a hallucination of "Stronger" in which he is also a member of the football team, during a dental visit." --> "In the episode, McHale's character Artie has a hallucination of himself singing "Stronger" during a dental visit."

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

Sourcing

• Is #3 a book? If so, the book should be put into a Bibliography section and the page number should be in the regular source, see John Frusciante for an example

  It doesn't have to be like that. Look at "Rehab (Rihanna song)". It also contains a book reference. I have nominated it for FA two times, and nobody ever complained about it.

Okay, no problem

• MTV News is published by Viacom, put that in all MTV News citations

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• Put Billboard for the work in reference #5

• Done — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• I'm not sure if #9 and #10 are reliable

• Number 9 it's definitely reliable. For 10 I am not sure. — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

• What is source #19?

• It's about the Australian certification. — Tomica1111 • Question Existing? 14:10, 5 November 2011 (UTC)

I will now put this review on hold for seven days. Address these concerns, and you've got yourself a Good Article! :)

Comments

I'm going to fix these issues soon! I'm currently busy at school and I'm also taking care of another review. Thanks in advance. :) - Saulo ^{Talk to Me} 21:47, 31 October 2011 (UTC)

Wow, I am very impressed with your fast response! I have now passed the article. Congrats and thanks for all your hard work! Basilisk4u (talk) 16:55, 5 November 2011 (UTC)