Talk:Stewart Farrar/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Reassessment

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As part of Wikipedia:WikiProject Good articles' Project quality task force, all old good articles are being re-reviewed to ensure that they meet current good article criteria (as detailed at WP:WIAGA. I have determined that this article needs some upkeep to maintain its status, and I have some additional comments:

Most of my comments are similarly related to the GAR I opened at Janet Farrar (Talk:Janet Farrar/GA1).
- Mainly, there's some accessibility issues in that many terms—"Alexandrian Wicca", "elevated to the second degree", et al.—are not explained for those not familiar with witchcraft in general or alexandrian wicca in particular.
- Secondly, there's a lack of secondary sources that are outside the wiccan community; it is these sources that convey notability and would help add to the article's comprehensiveness.
"He served as an instructor in Anti-aircraft gunnery during World War II,[2] and wrote an instruction manual for a Bofors gun.[3]" seems to be original research, given the corresponding footnote.
"In 1969, Farrar was once again working as a journalist, employed by the weekly newspaper Reveille. It was an assignment from this paper that would introduce Farrar to Wicca.", “Your letters give off good vibrations of work and happiness. I feel that all our growing pains concerning publicity and personalities of the Wicca, are beginning to bear fruit. A few of us in the midst of many are beginning to establish the foundation (I mean the building itself) on the raw materials, to get the foundation stone in place”, "They remained in dialogue until Alex Sanders' death in the late 1980s.", "A biography on Stewart Farrar entitled Writer on a Broomstick was released in February 2008." are among the sentences that stand alone and aren't part of real paragraphs; they need to be merged, expanded or cut.
There are some prose/Manual of Style issues, including a lack of punctuation ("He was the first cousin of the poet James Farrar"), curly braces (such as the quote above about the foundation stone and whatnot), and a lead section that doesn't adequately summarize the article (WP:LEAD).
"For the six years following, Farrar worked for Associated British-Pathe and Associated British Corporation as a scriptwriter, and also did freelance work for the BBC. His writing for the BBC during the 1960s and 70's included the award-winning radio play "Watch the Wall my Darling", the children's television series "The Boy Merlin" and "Pity About the Abbey", a play for television which he co-wrote with poet John Betjeman." is unsourced, one of several clauses with no or unclear sourcing that needs to be rectified.

I am putting the article on hold for a week pending improvements. Keep me appraised of progress in this space. Thanks, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 00:51, 14 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

As no progress has been made on the above in the time allotted, I am delisting the article. It may be renominated at any time. If you have any questions or comments, direct them to my talk page. Cheers, Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs^(talk) 21:36, 22 November 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.