Talk:Stefan Dragutin/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 17:39, 3 November 2020 (UTC)
- "He was the eldest son of King Stefan Uroš I of Serbia and Helen of Anjou. He received the title of "young king" in recognition of his right to succeed his father after a peace treaty between Uroš I and Béla IV of Hungary, who was the grandfather of Dragutin's wife, Catherine, in 1268." There is rather a lot in this sentence. Can I suggest splitting it into two, or even three, sentences.
- Done. (?)
- "File:Stefan Dragutin, Arilje.jpg" has two different PD tags. It only needs one of them. If PD-old, add a US PD tag; if PD-Serbia, add a source.
- Done.
- "File:King Stefan Uroš I with his son Stefan Dragutin.jpg" needs a US PD tag.
- Done.
- "File:Dinar of King Stefan Dragutin.jpg" needs a PD tag for the coin.
- Done.
- What is the source of the information in "File:Srem04-en.png"?
- The file contains a list of sources. I could refer to further works to verify it. Is it necessary?
- Numerous works in "Sources" are not cited. They should be deleted or moved to "Further reading".
- Done.
- Seven works in "Further reading" seems excessive,. Are they all helpful/necessary. It seems to be stretching "a reasonable number of works".
- Done.
- Caption: "King Dragutin, (founder's portrait (fresco) in Saint Achillius Church, painted during his lifetime, around 1296". Why the outer set of parentheses?
- Done.
More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:39, 3 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you for starting the review. Borsoka (talk) 02:23, 4 November 2020 (UTC)
I have done a little copy editing. Let me know if there is anything you don't like or don't understand why I have done it.
- "forced him to abdicate in 1282." You sure about that date?
- No. :) Modified.
- "but he actually ruled his realm as an independent ruler". Suggest "he actually" → 'in practice he'.
- Done.
- "Milutin's mercenaries routed him in 1311 or 1312". Is enough known about this to be worth a red link?
- Sorry, I do not understand your above remark.
- You may recall Third Punic War ;-) . In the lead there is a reference to the Battle of Oroscopa. It is read because an article on it does not (yet) exist; but it is linked because there is enough information on it, IMO, for someone to create such an article, so it is pre-empively linked. I am enquiring whether there is sufficient information available that someone might, one day, create an article on the 1311/12 battle. If there is, it should be linked and will show in red - hence "red link".
- I also like red links, but I have not read a detailed narration about the battle. Borsoka (talk) 01:47, 13 November 2020 (UTC)
- You may recall Third Punic War ;-) . In the lead there is a reference to the Battle of Oroscopa. It is read because an article on it does not (yet) exist; but it is linked because there is enough information on it, IMO, for someone to create such an article, so it is pre-empively linked. I am enquiring whether there is sufficient information available that someone might, one day, create an article on the 1311/12 battle. If there is, it should be linked and will show in red - hence "red link".
- Done.
- "Dragutin continued to style himself as king in his royal charters and coins." 1. Describing them as "royal" is PoV under the circumstances, and I suggest deleting the word. 2. 'and on his coins'.
- Done.
- "St. Achillios Church". Is the o a typo?
- Modified.
- Setton is cited, but isn't in the sources.
- Restored.
- "defeated Dragutin's army before 13 October 1307". If this means what it says, then 'defeated Dragutin's army on an unknown date, sometime before 13 October 1307'.
- Done.
- The last paragraph. I am not sure that it is necessary to have cite 44 four times in a row. Consider removing hte first three.
- Done. Borsoka (talk) 04:32, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
Gog the Mild (talk) 21:22, 6 November 2020 (UTC)
I also note that there is a cite to "Setton 1976, p. 130." that does not link to any entry in bibliography. Renata (talk) 04:06, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you. The source restored. Borsoka (talk) 04:32, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
That all looks good. I have expanded on the red link point above, but that is not a GAN issue, so I am promoting. Nice work. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:23, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you for your comprehensive and thorough review, and also for promoting the article. Have a nice day. Borsoka (talk) 01:47, 13 November 2020 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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