Talk:Sonic Blast/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: P*h3i (talk · contribs) 23:22, 15 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The following is a review of the English Wikipedia article Sonic Blast, as of revision 830141998 (by TheJoebro64, at 14:29 on 13 March 2018). All "suggested changes" are only suggestions; anyone is welcome to address their concerns or debate them in the "post-review comments". It's suggested that to find a listed error, copy the text (Ctrl/Cmd+C) in the Quote column and use the find function (Ctrl/Cmd+F) in the article.

Suggested changes

Infobox

No issues found. Factual basis confirmed.

Lead

Location	Quote	Error	Notes
Para. 1, line 1	... Blast (G Sonic in Japan) is ...	More applicable as footnote	This is debatable.
Para. 1, line 1	... platform game known ...	Lack of information	"game" → "video game", the lead never mentions the subject matter is a video game
Para. 1, line 3	... the animals run ...	Poor word choice	What is the relevancy of clarifying that they are animals? "Characters" or something like that could be better.
Para. 2, line 2	... been rereleased on ...	Misspelling	"rereleased" → "re-released"
Para. 2, line 2	... the Virtual Console. Despite ...	Clarification required	Which Virtual Console?
Para. 2, line 4	... an impressive technological achievement, most ...	Non-neutral phrasing	"achievement" → "advancement", or something alternative
		Lack of information in lead on Master System version	The lead only mentions the Game Gear version.
		Lack of information on releases	The lead should mention the months of the game's releases in their respective regions.

Gameplay

Location	Quote	Error	Notes
Para. 1, lines 5 & 6	... boost when the player taps the jump button in midair. Knuckles ...	Irrelevant information	Controls don't matter in the gameplay section, especially if no other info on controls is present.
Para. 1, line 7	... in midair. The ..	Misspelling	"midair" → "mid-air"
Para. 1, lines 7 & 8	The player travels through fifteen levels (called "acts") across five zones.	Use of VG jargon	"Zones" counts as WP:JARGON.
Para. 2, line 2	... not recollected quickly ...	Misspelling	"recollected" → "re-collected"
Para. 2, line 5	... rings, speed shoes, shields, ...	Use of VG jargon	"speed shoes" counts as WP:JARGON
Para. 2, line 6	... the player hits a signpost ...	Re-phrase required	"the player must hit a signpost" would be better
Para. 2, line 7	Footnote	Questionable use of footnote	Would this be better as just part of the Gameplay section? What is the function of the use of a footnote here?
Para. 3, line 1	... Similar to Sonic ...	Incorrect word usage	"Similarly" or "Similar in fashion" is better here
Para. 3, line 3	... grant the animals extra ...	Poor word choice	What is the relevancy of clarifying that they are animals? "Characters" or something like that could be better.

Development and release

Location	Quote	Error	Notes
Para. 1, lines 2 & 3	Poor readability	Ryushin Hamada was the game's director, Toshiaki Araki and Yoshiaki Makishima were the programmers, and Fumikazu Sugawara and Taro Murayama were the designers.	Should be "The game was directed by Hamada, programmed by Makishima", etc.
Para. 4, line 1	Misspelling	... been rereleased in ...	"rereleased" → "re-released"

Reception and legacy

Location	Quote	Error	Notes
Para. 3, line 6	Debatable quote choice	... 2D romp with the nippy blue mammal". Digitally ...	Would it be better to leave out "nippy blue mammal"? It could cause reader confusion ... perhaps just "any other 2D [Sonic game]"?

Images

Sonic Blast cover art.jpg: Okay rationale, name & quality.
Sonic Blast Screenshot.png: Okay rationale, name & quality.
Game-Gear-Handheld.jpg: Exceptional rationale, name & quality.

References

Number	Identifier	Issue	Notes
1	GamePro magazine entry	Does not adequately support its reference (a)	The magazine calling it "2D Blast" is a weak link. It should be easy to find a stronger one, and one that supports that it's sidescrolling.
2	Game manual	Lack of hyperlink	A link to the manual would be good for readers to verify
2	Game manual	Lack of region clarification	The reference should state "U.S. instruction manual" or something similar
3	Nintendo World Report review	Does not adequately support its reference (b)	As far as I can see, the only mention of multiple zones is that the reviewer didn't like Marine Zone.
7	Japanese Virtual Console page	Author parameter invalid	No author should be listed for this page
18	Ação Games article	Poor supplement	Isn't required anyway, plenty of sources citing Tectoy relation

Note: The use of a primary source (the game manual) is acceptable here as it is used in supplement with an array of other sources

Final opinion

First revision

1a: Complies mostly; has a few easily fixable or non-important exceptions.
1b: Complies fully.
2a: Complies fully.
2b: Complies mostly; has a few easily fixable or non-important exceptions.
2c: Complies fully.
2d: Complies fully.
3a: Complies fully.
3b: Complies fully.
4: Complies fully.
5: Complies fully.
6a: Complies fully.
6b: Complies fully.

Thus, I will put the GAN on hold until the minor issues presented are fixed, specifically those relating to the lead. The hold time is specifically 7 days. If all issues are fixed within seven days, then Sonic 3D Blast will become a good article . If not, then the article will fail the GAN and will be able to be re-nominated at a later date. If there are any disputes with suggested changes, please write them in the Post-review comments section and we can discuss them and possibly make the GAN open to required second opinion . This 7-day period also acts as a period of time for anyone unbiased to add their own review in the comments.

~ P*h3i (📨) 11:39, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Second revision

1a: Complies fully.
1b: Complies fully.
2a: Complies fully.
2b: Complies fully.
2c: Complies fully.
2d: Complies fully.
3a: Complies fully.
3b: Complies fully.
4: Complies fully.
5: Complies fully.
6a: Complies fully.
6b: Complies fully.

This means the article is now a good article. Congratulations.

~ P*h3i (📨) 23:02, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Pre-review comments

Will get onto this soon. ~ P*h3i (📨) 23:22, 15 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Post-review comments

The review is now complete. If you have any concerns with this revision of the review, please note them here. After either the issues are fixed or debated, a second revision of the review or request for secondary comment will be made. Thanks. ~ P*h3i (📨) 11:39, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@P*h3i: Thanks for reviewing another one of my GANs. I've implemented most of your suggestions, but wanted to clear up some things:

All platform games are video games, so saying it's a video game is somewhat redundant since the reader will already know this. The page itself is simply called platform game.
"Rerelease" and "recollect" are grammatically correct. Standard style is to omit the hyphen in "re-" words unless it creates an ambiguous meaning (e.g. recover vs. re-cover).
The opening sentence says it's a 1996 video game, so I think that's enough to tell readers when it was released. Exact release dates are better summarized in the infobox and the article itself.
The Master System version is mentioned in the lead: and has been rereleased on the Master System...
I think "achievement" is neutral, since it's being used as the opinion of reviewers, not as a statement of fact.
"Midair" is also grammatically correct.
I think the footnote is fine as it is; it just says the possible pictures the signpost can land on. That'd be sort of crufty to list in prose.
Ação Games isn't there for the Tectoy info, it's to verify that the game was released in Brazil in December 1997.

JOE BRO 64 19:49, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@TheJoebro64: Ok, most of this is all acceptable. I had to be extra nitpicky because it's such a well-written article. Is there some kind of guideline that states the hyphen thing? Didn't know about that. Also, neither Jeuxvideo.com or Digitally Downloaded actually ever mention the word "achievement", so it isn't neutral as the references supporting the statement don't actually say that. Also, I thought "midair" instead of "mid-air" was kind of a colloquialism or shortening, that's why it's in a dictionary? Oxford and Cambridge both say hyphen is better, while Dictionary.com and Merriam-Webster say differently, so..? These things are so minor that it doesn't really matter all that much, but it'd be nice to reach full consensus about all issues before we finish the review. ~ P*h3i (📨) 22:11, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@P*h3i: I've removed the "achievement" part and reworded it. Reading WP:HYPHEN, I've added a hyphen to "re-collect" since it can mean something else without a hyphen. Most GAs and FAs (examples: Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels, Sonic CD, and Yoshi's Island) don't use a hyphen in "rerelease" since there is no other meaning to it. I'd take the same stance with "midair" too; I don't think it needs a hyphen since it only has one meaning. JOE BRO 64 22:52, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I suppose this means consensus on all issues. ~ P*h3i (📨) 23:00, 19 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]