Talk:Skirmish near Brooklyn, Kansas/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 21:35, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I'll take a look at this one shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 21:35, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

Prelim

• No duplicated links
• No edit wars
• Earwig reports no copyvio
• No images to check. Suggest at least one portrait of one of the commanders involved be added
  • I've added an image of Quantrill

Lede and infobox

• Union Army link needs to be moved to first mention
  • Done
• List the union units on different lines in the infobox, as of now it reads like the militia were part of the 9th
  • Done
• Why not mention that the cavalry are from the 9th in the main text? Seems strange to only note and reference it in the infobox

Background

• "while some of Missouri's residents supported slavery." are you able to quantify the amount of slavery supporters?
• "The Kansans were known as Jayhawkers" this sounds like all Kansans were called this, but I assume you're particularly referencing the guerrillas, as you do next for the bushwhackers?
  • Clarified
• "Both sides committed atrocities." very vague. Can you expand on what kind of atrocities these were/why they committed them/for what caused they were committed? A little too much is left to inference here
  • Clarified
• "In August" of what year?
  • Added
• "having kidnapped and later murdered locals guide his men to the city of Lawrence." think I get what this sentence is meant to say, but it needs rewording badly
  • Done
• "and entered Kansas" I realise you go into detail in the next paragraph, but briefly specify here why they did so?
• "who was hated in Missouri"...for his views? his actions?
  • He was a notorious Jayhawker
• "The historian Albert E. Castel states" sounds more like an argument than a statement of fact to me
  • Reworded
• "In the ensuing Lawrence Massacre" when?
  • Added

Skirmish

• Move Union army link to first mention
  • Done
• "Fort Scott Road" if this doesn't have an article I don't see the use in specifying it over saying "moving along the roads towards Baldwin until it reached..."
  • Done
• "the route he had taken into Kansas" specify at some point what/where this route was?
• "He also ordered Brooklyn burned." before reading the sources I had no idea this meant the town was completely destroyed! This should be emphasised more
  • Clarified
• "The town's saloon was not destroyed." I assume this means something, but I'm unsure what that is exactly!
  • Unclear (source just makes a vague implication of alcoholism), so I've rephrased it to that all buildings except for the saloon were burned down
• You state that Lane's men reached Quantrill while he was still at/near Brooklyn, but I've already read about Quantrill deciding to begin his escape towards the south-east. Either the chronology is a little funky here or this needs clarifying
• "A force of about 200..." three uses of "force" in one sentence is a bit much here!
• " Shots were fired..." this sounds very brief and bloodless like this - was that the case? If possible I think more detail would be useful here
  • Per Castel 1999, it was bloodless. Added
• Stipulate what date these actions are happening on, it's not clear that it's on the same day as the massacre
  • I've tried to clarify that this is going on the same day as the massacre
• "George M. Todd..." who? Introduce the man before he makes his charge!
  • Glossed
• "losses on both sides" are there no exact figures?
  • Not that I've seen.
• I think it would be useful to say earlier on that Quantrill's men were mounted
• NPS source says that the cavalry were still chasing Quantrill on 28 August?

Aftermath

• "Union forces attempted" are these the same group of militia/cavalry or a different group of Union soldiers?
• Link militiamen
  • Done
• "avoided a force of 150 Missouri militiamen" can you expand on how they did this?
• "depopulated 10,000 civilians from parts of four counties in western Missouri." to what end?

References

• References look good, although is the National Park Service really the best source for information on the 9th Cavalry?
  • I believe that this NPS source is a republishing of the public domain Dyer's Compendium here. Dyer is considered to be pretty good for who fought where. Hog Farm _Talk 21:29, 15 December 2021 (UTC)

@Hog Farm That's all I have for now, and apologies it took me so long to get around to this! Will await your responses. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:20, 13 December 2021 (UTC)

@Pickersgill-Cunliffe: - I'm going to need to withdraw this and request a formal b-class assessment, I guess. I was running with Google books previews of Castel 1999 and Schultz, but can't see all of the needed pages now. Once the local university library reopens from Christmas break, I can access Nichols's Guerrilla Warfare in Civil War Missouri, 1863. The county library has copies of Schultz and Leslie's The Devil Knows How to Ride, but they are both currently unavailable (Quantrill is a folk hero in Missouri to some extent and gets read about a lot). I guess the hope for me is to get access to the additional sources at some point in January and then renominate; I don't see any point in keeping this open if it'll be awhile before I can get the sources I need. Hog Farm _Talk 07:10, 18 December 2021 (UTC)

Alright, will do as you ask. Hope you find luck in obtaining those sources! Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 11:50, 18 December 2021 (UTC)