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Talk:Siege of Almería (1309)/GA1

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 16:30, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will take this review on over the next couple of days. Best, Eddie891 Talk Work 16:30, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

No copyvio... Eddie891 Talk Work 16:41, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
... no DAB links... Eddie891 Talk Work 16:41, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
... regular links are fine Eddie891 Talk Work 16:42, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
cite #25 (Manzano Rodríguez 1992, p. 348.) doesn't point anywhere Eddie891 Talk Work 16:42, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Oops. Fixed. HaEr48 (talk) 16:50, 8 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
  • Lede could probably be split into two paragraphs
    Split. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "jointly with a similar campaign by their neighbour Castile" er, I'm not positive I understand this phrasing, could you try and clarify? (was it a joint campaign or just a similar one?)
    Tried to clarify: "was the initial Aragonese target in a joint Aragonese-Castilian campaign aimed at conquering Granada". Would this work? The idea is both were campaigning to conquer Granada, but only Aragon was involved at Almeria. I'm open to other suggestions too. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    Works for me Eddie891 Talk Work 18:14, 13 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • " had prepared for the siege by strengthening" not really needed?
    Done. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and caused trouble in Granadan territories" could you specify?
    Specified. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Emirate of Granada was the last remaining Muslim state on the Iberian peninsula." might consider beginning with "In 1309" or "By 1309" to give the reader an easy anchor
    Specified "since the mid-thirteenth century". HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Granada was allied with another Christian kingdom, Aragon" couldn't hurt to add where Aragon is in relation to Granada?
    They're not directly bordering each other, but both are in the Iberian peninsula. Would "neighboring Christian kingdom" be misleading? Else, I don't know how to describe it briefly. Any suggestions?HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    Eh, perhaps just 'nearby' since they aren't directly bordering... Eddie891 Talk Work 18:14, 13 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who began to make plans" maybe add an "who all began to make plans"?
    Done. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The pope granted James II two thirds of the decima" is there a link you can put in?
    For decima? unfortunately, no. Decima has a disambiguation page, and tithe is not this. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Emirate of Granada not only had to defend Almería on its eastern front." perhaps "... had to defend Ameria on multiple fronts"?
    Done (had to defend itself). HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "to be clearly exaggerated" is the 'clearly' needed?
    Done. HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "resisted by pouring boiling oil and other flammables" mildly unclear who they poured it on?
    Done (the assailant). HaEr48 (talk) 13:55, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and forcing the assault to be aborted" this wouldn't really be one of the ways they resisted, more the result of the assault?
    Rewrote sentence. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
  • "claiming to kill 22,000 inhabitants" perhaps add a date and add a "claiming that they"?
    Reworded, but no date was given in the source unfortunately. HaEr48 (talk) 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    Actually, deleted this part because, rereading the article it seems 22,000 refers to the number of rocks instead of killed inhabitants. HaEr48 (talk) 15:27, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "dressed as Muslims" this may be really stupid of me, but how could they dress as a Muslim?
    Sorry that was unclear. The source says they dressed in burnouses in order to seem to be Muslim - I presume that was the style of Muslims at that time/place. HaEr48 (talk) 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "came out of the ambushes too soon" how does one come out of an ambush?
    "ambushes" here means "concealed positions". Changed to clarify. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
  • "Most of them managed to reenter the city via the side entrance that happened to be made ready to open the day before, but some were left behind...they managed to reenter the city." perhaps you could remove the repetition of 'managed to reenter the city'?
    Done. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
  • "but served as a skillful diplomat in negotations with James II." is it really neutral to call him 'skillfull'?
    Removed. HaEr48 (talk) 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "were tempered by the loss of to Castile"?
    Oops, added "the lost of Gibraltar"

Very nice article, some minor comments, feel free to discuss/ ask for clarification on any/all things. These comments are rather subjective, so I won't feel offended if you don't like any/all of them. Source review to follow... Eddie891 Talk Work 01:01, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Eddie891: Thank you for the helpful comments. I've replied, mostly applying your suggestion/feedback and also asking some queries. Let me know what you think. 14:11, 12 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Didn't check all the sources, but they seem to be high quality, and generally support the text, so I'm satisfied. Let me know if I just didn't see something-- I have been known to suffer from temporary not-reading-the-whole-page-ness. Eddie891 Talk Work 18:50, 13 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Eddie891: Thank you for the review. I've responded above. HaEr48 (talk) 19:36, 13 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]
HaEr48,This article is now well written, referenced, comprehensive, free from copyvio, and otherwise meets the GA criteria. I'm happy to pass. Nice work!
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