Talk:Shut Down (Blackpink song)/GA1

GA Review

Passed. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 03:41, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MPGuy2824 (talk · contribs) 02:57, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this within a week. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 02:57, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Am putting the review on hold until the close paraphrasing can be explained. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 09:49, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Drive-by comment (as backlog drive coord checking from the drive page): it looks like that site is copying from Wikipedia, rather than the other way around. The background section on our part was written before the release of the song (checking with mw:Who Wrote That?), while that article went up the day of the song's release. The structure is also a dead giveaway of Wikipedia mirrors, given it exactly mimics our article's structure. Their other articles also look to be Wikipedia mirrors. Vaticidalprophet 10:14, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, thanks. Continuing the review then. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 10:19, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Obviously this has taken longer than a week, but since it is my first GA review, I wanted to be extra thorough. In any case, i think we are in the final stages of this. Let's get it done. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 09:30, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

General Notes

There are a lot of CS1 errors in the refs. Please fix them.
If the single has an image of its own, it should be added to the infobox. Otherwise an image of the group, just under the infobox might be good.
There is a quite a bit of jargon in the article, which either should be explained, wikilinked or replaced. e.g. drippy, clap back. -MPGuy2824 (talk)

@MPGuy2824 Hi, there weren't a lot of CS1 errors, only two of which I fixed.

I also fixed the jargon you've mentioned, and lastly, there's no official cover of the single.

I'm not sure of what you meant by "Otherwise an image of the group, just under the infobox might be good." Do you mean to add the image straight way to the lead section? Lililolol (talk) 12:35, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I meant an image of the members of the group just after the infobox. But, i'll check tomorrow to see how it is done for other GA/FA song pages. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 12:38, 15 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

If there was an official image for the single, you could have added it to the infobox. Adding an image of the members of the group after the infobox isn't there in all GA page, so its up to you. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:04, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Follow the instructions at Category:CS1 maint: url-status if you want to see the CS1 warnings. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 11:02, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Text

Background

The second and third sentences are quotes from the agency about the album's lead single, i.e. not this song. Can be removed, in my opinion.
promotional posters of each of the members were released - change to "promotional posters of the song featuring each of the members were released". -MPGuy2824 (talk) 10:56, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@MPGuy2824
- Actually, the agency's quotes are about this song, the lead single
- Done
Lililolol (talk) 19:40, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Actually, the agency's quotes are about this song, the lead single. According to Born Pink#Track listing, the first song on the album is Pink Venom. This is also supported by the reference. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 06:27, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@MPGuy2824 The source called this song the second single, as you can see in the article that reported the agency quotes Lililolol (talk) 13:59, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

"'Shut Down' is a word that means the closure of a certain space." Probably not needed
Might be interesting to add an audio sample of the Paganini composition, if available. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 10:56, 16 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- I guess the sample is available online, but i don't know how to upload it to wikipedia
Lililolol (talk) 19:42, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Lililolol Hello! I have uploaded and added an audio sample of the chorus. For future reference, you can follow WP:SAMPLE. I removed Paganini's image per WP:SANDWICH, but perhaps it can be added elsewhere in the article. ⇒ Luminous Person (talk) 00:00, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
This works too. You can hear the violin instead of just imagining some classical violin piece. Thanks. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:10, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Commercial performance

The group also became the fourth act to debut atop the Global 200, Global Excl. U.S. and Billboard 200 charts simultaneously with "Shut Down" and its parent album Born Pink, joining BTS, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift as the only acts to achieve this feat. This is quite clunky. Maybe split it into smaller chunks.
With this, Blackpink became the first girl group to have multiple top tens and tied Psy for the second-most top tens by a Korean act, and also became the first Korean act to have a non-compilation album yield multiple top tens on the chart. Change to "With this, Blackpink became the first girl group to have multiple top tens, and tied with Psy for the second-most top tens by a Korean act. They also became the first Korean act to have a non-compilation album yield multiple top tens on the chart." I split it into two sentences and changed "tied Psy" to "tied with Psy". -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Idk, any suggestions?
- Done
Lililolol (talk) 19:47, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
See if "The group also became the fourth act to debut atop the Global 200, Global Excl. U.S. and Billboard 200 charts simultaneously with "Shut Down" and its parent album, Born Pink. BTS, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift are the only other acts that have achieved this feat." works for you. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 06:57, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Done Lililolol (talk) 13:56, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

Lisa stands on a deck against - wikilink deck
Lisa wields a sword with the word "Blackpink" written on it - could be etched as well, might as well remove the word "written"
Jisoo trips and falls in front of paparazzi filming her every move in "Ddu-Du Ddu-Du" but confidently Add a comma before the word "but" -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- Done
- Done
Lililolol (talk) 19:49, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Dance performance video

indicating of the music video concept and added a sense of immersion. - reword please
Later, the girls was joined by correct to "were joined" -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 17 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- Done
Lililolol (talk) 19:47, 21 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Accolades

There is a note attached to "Best Arranger – Overseas". You can add a "notelist" template right after this table, to keep the note near its context.
Date (10 total) in the second table : The "(10 total)" isn't needed. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:26, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- Done
Lililolol (talk) 13:17, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances and promotion

First sentence - needs commas. Replace with "On September 16, 2022, the group held a livestream on their official YouTube channel, one hour before the release of Born Pink, on a large stage themed after the concept of "Shut Down"."
On September 19, 2022 - The year isn't necessary.
first time on a domestic music program - Replace "domestic" with "Korean" or "South Korean".
Blackpink's Born Pink World Tour starting in October 2022. replace with "Blackpink's Born Pink World Tour, which started in October 2022.
as the headlining act - pluralize "act".
The song was used by the La Poem, that were teammate by Yoo Se-yoon in the South Korean reality show Webtoon Singer, which featured K-pop artists' performances combining webtoons with extended reality technology in The God of High School. Too complex. I don't even understand what's meant to be conveyed.
The series premiered on streaming service TVING on February 17, 2023[61] and released in the 5th episodes on March 17, 2023. Probably not needed if it is talking about the "God of High School" series. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:26, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Done
- Done
- Done
- Done
- How?
- Done; I rewrite it
- Done; unnecessary details, so I removed them
Lililolol (talk) 13:50, 23 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Pluralizing act: Blackpink performed "Shut Down" during their sets as the headlining act of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California and BST Hyde Park in London. Try 'Blackpink performed "Shut Down" during their headlining sets at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California, and BST Hyde Park in London.'-MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:03, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Done Lililolol (talk) 11:37, 24 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead section

It was written by its producer 24 alongside Teddy, Danny Chung, and Vince. Change to "It was written by its producer 24, along with Teddy, Danny Chung, and Vince." -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:52, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Done Lililolol (talk) 17:13, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

References

Am checking a few at random, not all:

[1] seems to be a 404. Please fix.
[2] couldn't access this.
you can check for some other issues using this link. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:52, 25 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed the links you mentioned. The rest are working fine, but just a few fall under "Indeterminate" which seems good to me. Lililolol (talk) 17:13, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

[3] says: "Weibo does not exist or has no permission to view it!", in Chinese, which i assume means a 404. Please fix. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 03:23, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I tried to search for other references for this, but was unsuccessful. I've removed this row from the table completely. Feel free to re-add the row once you find a reliable reference. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 03:39, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Review template

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.