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Talk:Shallow (Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper song)/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Kingsif (talk · contribs) 02:48, 22 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'll review this - comments should be added here soon Kingsif (talk) 02:48, 22 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Style

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  • Lead good length for article
  • Lead generally written well, made minor edit for clarity
  • Background and release section could use some tightening on what is in the fictional film, that Cooper is also the director, and then the real filming of the sequence at the Greek
    • The mention of the internet meme use could be incorporated better since the article doesn't otherwise have a Culture section for it to go in
  • Writing and recording section good (again, one tweak)
  • In Composition, the sentences "Cooper sings the line "Tell me something, girl" to open the first verse with restraint. Gaga joins from the second verse belting in a "sturdy voice"." feel like they could be phrased better. Maybe 'Cooper opens the first verse by singing "Tell me something, girl" in a restrained voice; Gaga joins from the second verse, belting with what is described by Pitchfork as a "sturdy voice".'
  • Saying "The song moves gradually toward the final chorus with a vocal run" makes it seem like the whole song up to the final chorus is a building vocal run. Some expansion before the
  • The Composition and lyrical interpretation section (especially last 2 paragraphs) are weaker than the rest of the writing. Sentences and getting information across can definitely be constructed better.
    • Also, structurally it could be better sectioned off - parts about composition and performance and lyrics are all currently mixed together in the second paragraph.
  • In Critical reception, the word "boffo" needs a wiktionary link - it's slang and unique to the US, and understanding the sentence relies on knowing the word when many won't.
  • When parts rewritten, a comma check may be useful for this article.
  • Critical reception section well structured
  • Some of the information at the start (first paragraph) of the Charts section seems to be disorganized - there's a lot of numbers and I don't quite know which chart-topping and position stats refer to which of the two charts initially mentioned (the info about Streaming Songs chart is ok). Maybe separating by chart could help the confusion.
    • Question on why chart performance and the actual charts are not together?
  • Again, this (Chart performance) section is weaker, probably because it's just trying to handle a lot of numbers and needs some breaking up of the stats and some extra prose to make it clearer and less like a really long list of numbers.
  • Accolades is good and both high enough up the article and not excessive enough to warrant a table
  • Some bits of clean-up elsewhere but otherwise good
  • Could probably wikilink the first instance of Eurovision to Eurovision Song Contest for those who don't know what that is.
  • Needs work Some parts weaker than others in terms of writing
I tried, take a second look. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:12, 29 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Coverage

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If IB didn't add it it's because he couldn't find it. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:49, 29 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • Does the sentence "Nate Jones of New York magazine noted the track was the basis for the romantic relationship that develops between Jackson and Ally in the film. "'Shallow' is the moment Ally and Jack both realize how great they can be when their talents intertwine, and the rest of the movie explores what happens when they start to fray," he added." in Critical reception actually need to be included - this isn't a review, it's just a clear statement about it that has already been made in the article.
  • This section otherwise good
  • May be too much in the Chart performance section, especially with a lot of this reflected in the Charts table below
  • Accolades good, especially with link to main article
  • Live performances could maybe have a mention of 'after the initial recording, the song has been included in several live performances', e.g.
  • If not mentioned, it's good
  • Attention Only a few things to look at

 Done take a look one more time. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:49, 29 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Illustration

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Neutrality

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Stability

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  • A whole section was removed on Sep 15. It was sourced and may be relevant, so I don't see why except to avoid covering the plagiarism claim - it has a brief section on the talk page where I feel its inclusion should be discussed before finalizing this review (I'll put it on hold until discussion's over, for a reasonable period, unless the discussion isn't started in the next week)
Where should I add that? It's not a matter of discussion it has several relable sources and coverage. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:31, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I'd put it after Critical reception, before Chart performance. Good to see someone taking this up, thanks :) Kingsif (talk) 16:17, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

 Done please take a look. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:13, 29 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Verifiability

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Overall

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I will do by best.MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:35, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
MarioSoulTruthFan, Thank you. ---Another Believer (Talk) 15:44, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I've added you as a co-nominator since you're taking over in IB's absence. Thanks again. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:51, 28 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Cartoon network freak, SNUGGUMS, and DAP388: Pinging you 3 as active editors and members of WikiProject Lady Gaga. Care to help see this GA nomination through in IndianBio's absence? ---Another Believer (Talk) 18:56, 27 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, but I doubt it given my current off-wiki obligations :/. SNUGGUMS (talk / edits) 20:34, 27 September 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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