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Talk:Second Battle of Newtonia/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 01:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Will review, shortly. Eddie891 Talk Work 01:52, 7 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments
  • "the two main objectives" Given that you don't specify what the two main objectives were, maybe just "main objectives"?
    • Done
  • "drove in his skirmishers" What does 'drove in' mean here?
    • Does "drove back" make more sense here?
  • "did begin pursuit until October 30" think something's missing here?
    • Two words missing and a wrong tense
  • "it continued until the Arkansas River was reached" can you rephrase to eliminate 'was reached'? Maybe 'they reached the AR'?
    • Done
  • "Price has lost" perhaps just "had lost" or even "lost"
    • Went with had. Typo
  • "1864 United States Presidential Election" we generally capitalize it "presidential election" afaik
    • Done. Wasn't quite sure which was right.
  • "who promoted ending the war" -> "favored ending the war"?
    • Done
  • "General Edmund Kirby Smith, commander of the Trans-Mississippi Department," I don't consider it immediately clear what side Smith is on
    • Added that he was Confederate.
  • "effect as the proposed transfer of troops" and what was that?
    • Clarified
  • "aid McClellan's chance of defeating Lincoln" add "in the election"?
    • Added
  • "ting Lincoln; on September 19" Suggest splitting instead of semicolon-ing here
    • Split
  • "Jefferson City, a secondary target" II think you can re-link here
    • Added, although I wouldn't be surprised if someone blindly wielding AWB will nix it by year's end.
  • "to strong to attack in early October" wrong too, I think, and it's unclear if you mean "too strong to attack in October" or "in october they decided taht it was too strong to attack"
    • Yeah, it's the wrong too, I'm terrible with to/too and their/there/they're. And yep, its unclear later, so I've added a few more words to clarify.
  • "By October 23, Union Major General Samuel R. Curtis and the Army of the Border caught" I think you need to either cut the by (and replace with On) or add "had caught up"
    • Went with on to lead off, as it conveys a more exact meaning that using by
  • withdraw after being "badly cut up" who are you quoting here
    • Good thing you brought this up. In looking in the sources to determine who the quote is from, I found that I had a few page numbers wrong. Quoting Curtis, attributed.
  • "November 8 at the Arkansas." Is this right?
    • Yes. Is there a phrasing issue here that makes it read weird? I can rephrase this if need be.
      • my bad...

That's a first pass. Comments are suggestions as always, open to discusssion. Very nice work. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:47, 10 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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