Talk:Ruby Buckton/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Matthew RD 22:17, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I shall be reviewing this article sometime later. -- Matthew RD 22:17, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This is how the article fares against the GA criteria;

Well written: See notes below
Factually accurate and verifiable:
Broadness in coverage:
Neutral:
Stable: No edit conflicts, Passed
Images: One non-free image (so she's the one I keep seeing on those Channel 5 promotions while looking at TV.com), tags check out, Passed

Like I did with the review of Gilly Roach, I will be going through the article section by section. -- Matthew RD 18:57, 29 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Character development

Charecterisation

"The serial's official website describe Ruby stating: "She appears very free-spirited...". Change to "The serial's official website describes Ruby as "very free-spirited...". Done
I'm having trouble loading [1], but other than that, the link does not appear to be dead according to this, it's probably just because I have rubbish Internet connection, though this webpage seems to cover it also, so I suppose that's fine. Done
"Breeds herself describes Ruby, stating:" to "Describing her character, portraying actress Rebecca Breeds stated:" Done
"Breeds has also described Ruby's hatred of being underestimated stating:" to "Breeds also described Ruby's hatred to being underestimated:" Done
"She is not often careful in situations and is unaware of consequences and what's coming up in the future" to "She is often not careful in situations and is unaware of the consequences and what is coming up in the future." Done
"Breeds said she can sympathise that she irrational and silly due to the fact she is young." Breeds said that she can sympathise that she is irrational and silly because of the fact she is young." Done

Relationship

"Ruby has a relationships", she has a relationship, no need to pluralise. Done
"Breeds said that Ruby and Xavier relationship..." to "Breeds said that Ruby and Xavier's relationship..." Done
"of the storyline Breeds states" that should be a start of a sentence. Done
"After Romeo sleeps with Ruby, Mitchell said he immediately regrets it." Who? The character of actor? Done

Maternal issues

"Breeds said it was a "big exploration" and "a journey" for Ruby, with Anderson agreeing" End it in a full stop Done
"and Charlie is concerned about her moving from one guy to the next too quickly.")" Remove the bracket, I see no opening one earlier in the sentence. Done
"tries to advice Ruby through her troubles." Wouldn't it be better to say he tries to "advise" him? Done

=School girl crush

"She said Ruby is ignorant to fact..." to "She said Ruby is ignorant to the fact..." Done
"True to Ruby's persona she doesn't preconceive..." per MOS style, say "does not" rather than "doesn't" Done
"Ruby feels she has too..." just one "o" is needed Done
""a bit cleaner and a "bit more inexperienced"". I take it the "a bit cleaner" statement needs to end in a quote mark also Done
"This was due to the fact it was meant to be that she'd never sung before." again, don't use apostrophies if they aren't quote, so it is "she had" Done

Storylines

"realises it isn't going to work out", "is not" going to work out. Done
"Her friends Jai Fernandez (Jordan Rodrigues) and Annie who are in a relationship make her" Change to "Her friends Jai Fernandez (Jordan Rodrigues) and Annie, who are in a relationship, make her" Done
Who plays Matthew Lyons? Done
"When she finds out it's him," When she finds out "it is" him... Also, what do you mean by that sentence? Does Ruby believe he's "the one" (perfect partner)? Or is it something else? Done
"She then realises he was telling the truth and he won't forgive her and gets revenge." He "would not" forgive her Done
"She later bonds with Brendan and Xavier is happy and they resume their relationship." Change to "She later bonds with Brendan; Xavier is happy and they resume their relationship. Done
"she has convinced herself it wasn't consented". Change wasn't to "was not" Done
"She later organises a rally to stop the refugees being deported." Remove "the" (I take it you mean all refugees to Austrilia in general?) Done

Reception

I feel perhaps you should split the paragraph, it seems way too long and I'm not comfortable with a paragraph this size. Done
Link [21] is dead. Done

References

Not essential, but it could do with being in columns. Done

Well, this is my review Rain, I will place it on hold until they have been addressed. Thank you and good luck. -- Matthew RD 23:52, 30 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - Thankyou for the review. I fixed everything you brought up there. I'm so glad I always archive refs just incase this happens, so thats both links back up. " column reflist was a better idea. I need to watch out for all the "wasn't" and "Isn't" uses in future.Rain the 1 ^BAM 00:59, 31 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for dealing with my comments so quickly, I will pass the article. Well done. -- Matthew RD 01:08, 31 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]