Talk:Raymond Berry/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 03:45, 24 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:

Some comments:

"To recognize his contributions as a player, Berry was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1973." Sounds odd to read, and think it would be better as "In recognition of his playing career," or something like that.

Done

"Berry, who did not miss a single game until his eighth year in the league, led the NFL in receptions and receiving yards three times and in receiving touchdowns twice, while Unitas won four NFL Most Valuable Player awards and set numerous passing records." Should have a citation for that.

Done

The second paragraph in the professional playing career section, which starts with "Berry was famous for his attention to detail and preparation...", would it be better to move it to the profile section, perhaps in its own subsection? It seems more appropriate for that area, as it goes over some important details on what made Berry a good player, but isn't so much about his playing career.

Done Agreed, I'm not sure how I didn't notice that. Perhaps I meant to move it at some point and forgot to.

"The Colts finished atop the Western Division with a record of 9–3, and faced the New York Giants in the NFL Championship Game." Citation

Done

"His regular season coaching record was 48–39 (.552) and he was 3–2 (.600) in the playoffs." Citation

Done

Couldn't find a source for this, so removed.

Not a lot really, just a couple citations to add. Otherwise looks good. Kaiser matias (talk) 03:45, 24 September 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Kaiser matias: Sorry, I've been away from Wikipedia for a while for reasons. I'll try to get to this ASAP. Lizard (talk) 14:37, 5 October 2017 (UTC)[reply]