Talk:Ray Hall (basketball)

Ray Hall (basketball) has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: September 5, 2023. (Reviewed version).

A fact from Ray Hall (basketball) appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 22 April 2023 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that after Ray Hall threw an apple at Jo Jo White, White became Hall's sports agent?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2023/April. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Ray Hall (basketball).

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Post college

User:Rikster2, I know this guy played in the CBA for several years. He was an all-star and may have been one of the leading scorers. You mentioned you know how to research CBA careers.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 02:13, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
User:DaHuzyBru, I know this guy played at least briefly in Europe. That is your alley.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 02:13, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

There is no eurobasket profile for this guy, so I'm not much help sorry. DaHuzyBru (talk) 11:12, 4 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know nomination

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Bruxton (talk) 00:44, 9 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

(

Comment or view
Article history

)

... that after Ray Hall threw an apple at Jo Jo White, White became Hall's sports agent? Source: https://infoweb-newsbank-com.chipublib.idm.oclc.org/apps/news/document-view?p=NewsBank&t=&sort=YMD_date%3AA&page=1&fld-base-0=alltext&maxresults=20&val-base-0=%22Ray%20Hall%22%20basketball&docref=news/0ED3CD9EDBA85BD3
- Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/Thomas Charles Sorby
- Comment: 5th of 10 QPQs for this review.

Created by TonyTheTiger (talk). Self-nominated at 16:57, 6 April 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Ray Hall (basketball); consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Adequate sourcing: Neutral: Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:

Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
Cited: Interesting:

QPQ: Done.

Overall:

source is behind a paid wall, good faith assumed FuzzyMagma (talk) 13:58, 7 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ray Hall (basketball)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 05:47, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

I will (ideally) review this tomorrow (2 August UTC). ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 05:47, 1 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Just a quick heads-up that I've been told offwiki Luna doesn't have internet access for the next few days, but will be able to resume the reviews after. Vaticidalprophet 16:02, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Pass. This is the longest review I have ever done, and it is for an article that is just 1,000 words – oops. ツ LunaEatsTuna (💬)— 16:34, 5 September 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copyvio check

Earwig gives no concerns.

Prose

In § High school, recommend opening with his full name.
- OK--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:23, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"in the inner city" – do we know what city this refers to?
- Thx.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:26, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"At Canisius, Hall is the all-time Canisius" – rephrase to avoid using Canisius twice in close-succession. Also:
- fixed-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:28, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The following five few sentences all commence with He; they would look better alternating between he and Hall.
- Thx-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:31, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"most recent Canisius NBA draftee" – wikilink NBA.
- Linked NBA draft-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:33, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"4-year teammate Mike Smrek (2nd round, 1st pick) 1985 NBA draft" – I think this should be Mike Smrek's.
- Different fix.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:35, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"scoring records, he formerly held" – recommend using Hall here.
- Thx-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:37, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"(surpassed Al McClain, 1980–84 1861 and surpassed by Reggie Lewis, 1983–87 2709)" is a bit jargon-y; recommend rephrasing. I reckon this can be written and expanded upon a bit without the parentheses.
- OK.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:40, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"Hall scored 13 points" – I would use he here.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:41, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"posted a 32%" – percent per MOS:%.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:42, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"back to October 1986 training camp" – pretty sure this needs a the.
- Thx-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:44, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"and he signed with the team in October" – should this not be "that October"?
- Thx-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:45, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"that would visit" – recommend rephrasing as "that would" was just used. And:
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:47, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"Seoul, Korea" should be Seoul, South Korea.
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:47, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Wikilink MVP.
- Done-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:49, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"Later in August 1988," – should probably be "Later that August".
- OK-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:51, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
"abroad (in the 1988 PBA Reinforced Conference)" – the parentheses are not necessary.-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 20:53, 26 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

— Preceding unsigned comment added by LunaEatsTuna (talk • contribs) 22:42, August 20, 2023 (UTC)-TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 01:15, 22 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Refs

Spotcheck good to go on refs 4, 11, 12 and 28.

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.