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Talk:Praying (song)/GA2

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 23:26, 14 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox
  • I think that it should be “originated” instead of “originates”.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I am a little confused by this part “who contacted Kesha and offered her the song”. If he offered her the complete song, why does she having writing credits on it? Did he just offer the beat/composition or was everything already done and then Kesha altered the lyrics later? I think some clarification could be useful.
 Done I tried to clarify this a bit. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • This may be a personal preference but I would avoid putting quotes in the lead. I would paraphrase the "hoping everyone, even someone who hurt you, can heal” quote and remove the reference, but keep both in the body of the article.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part “Kesha performed it live on multiple occasions, including during”, just saying “including”.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Rather than adding this part “to praise from critics” at the end of an already long sentence. I would make a short sentence to the style of “Critics praised Kesha’s live performances”.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Background and release
  • For the image, I would include the year in which it was taken in the caption.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Please include ALT text for the image.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For this part “to showcase the singer's vocal range and to represent her as a person”, you can remove the second “to”.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would simplify this part (deals with suicidal thoughts that she has had.) to (deals with her past suicidal thoughts).
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise great work here.
Composition and lyricial interpretation
  • I would change this part (the song sounds unlike contemporary music) to (the song does not sound like contemporary music).
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would add a link for “chorus”.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Just jumping in here—wouldn't most, if not all, readers know what a chorus is? I think this qualifies as overlinking. Ss112 03:40, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
It is up to interpretation on that part. It could really go either way. Aoba47 (talk) 04:03, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Otherwise wonderful work here.
Critical reception and accolades
  • The image of the Grammy is rather silly and I would remove it.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • This section seems very unorganized to me. It seems like a random listing of critics and their opinions of the song without any overall narrative being formed. I would recommend looking at the following resource to see how to make this section better (Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections). I will hold off on reviewing this section further until it is restructed to a more cohesive narrative.
 Done I believe this looks better and more organized now, so you can take a second look over it. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:41, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Commercial performance
  • No issues here
Music video
  • Is it really necessary to list three other videos that Akerlund has filmed? It seems rather unnecessary to me.
 Done Remove Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:16, 18 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add ALT text for the Salvation Mountain image and the Beyonce image.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:50, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • You can remove this part “like Jesus Christ” as it is clear from the “walking on water” part and link what you mean.
 Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:50, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • For the “Reception and analysis” subsection, I would replace some of the quotes with your own words. There are a lot of quotes here and the subsection borders on a quote farm at times.
 Done This should look better now. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:50, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I would paraphrase parts of the long quote from Ferrer in the last paragraph.
 Done I shortened it; I think this looks better now. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:50, 19 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Credits and personnel
  • This article needs a section like this. I would imagine there is more detailed information on the recording of this song, such as the recording studio and other bits of information.
 Done Added, as I luckily found a screenshot of the Rainbow liner notes for the song on the internet. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:41, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • I would recommend archiving your links to avoid link rot/decay/death. This is not required for the GAN though
 Done Added archive links with IABot. Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:41, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Final thoughts
  • Once all of my comments are addressed, I will do a second read-through of this. As this is a rather long article on a popular subject, I anticipated doing multiple read-throughs of it so do not feel discouraged. You have done excellent work here; there just needs to be some refinement. Aoba47 (talk) 00:40, 15 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Aoba47: I have implemented all your comments, so I think the article is ready for a second look. Best and thanks again; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:41, 20 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Verdict
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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