Talk:Port of Morrow (album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 22:13, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I'm MarioSoulTruthFan and I'll be reviewing your article in the end of the week. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 22:13, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Needs alt.

Is that a llama I see standing on that mountain?

I think so.

• Address citation needed tag.
• No genre??
• How do you know when was recorded? Reference?

I'm going to ask the nominator if the liner notes have these covered or not.

Lead

• "Co-produced by Greg Kurstin and frontman James Mercer, the album was released March 20, 2012 on Aural Apothecary and Columbia Records" → The album was released March 20, 2012, on Aural Apothecary and Columbia Records and was co-produced by Greg Kurstin and frontman James Mercer.
• "The Shins' first studio album in five years, following the release of 2007's Wincing the Night Away, the band's fourth effort followed major lineup changes in the group:" → The Shins' first studio album in five years, following the release of 2007's Wincing the Night Away, followed major lineup changes in the group as
• "Mercer penned lyrics based around his newfound fatherhood and the love for his family, as well as nostalgic memories of his childhood in Germany and his rough adolescent transition to the United States". → Mercer penned lyrics based around his newfound fatherhood, the love for his family, as well as nostalgic memories of his childhood in Germany and his rough adolescent transition to the United States.
• "and other studio contributors including Janet Weiss and Nik Freitas". → and other studio contributors, including Janet Weiss and Nik Freitas.
• "received largely favorable reviews from contemporary critics. Several critics deemed it among the band's best, while others felt it disjointed following the departure of its principal members." → received largely favorable reviews from contemporary critics, with some deeming it among the band's best, while others felt it disjointed following the departure of its principal members.
• contemporary critics → link to music journalism
• Lead single "Simple Song" charted within the top ten on the alternative charts → The lead single "Simple Song" charted within the top ten on the alternative charts (which alternative charts? + link lead single)
• "Upon release, independent record stores were exclusively given a bonus acoustic EP bundled with the record". → should be mentioned in the body of the article
• Isn't there a second single to be mentioned here?

Background

• Move the picture to the left.
• You copied the first two sentences of the paragraph of this section from the source, you paraphrased it a bit to disguise but not enough → Re-write.
• engaged in conversation and held deep relationships → you should use quotes when you copy from the sources.
• "Sandoval instead told" → Sandoval, instead, told
• noting that → remove
• Mercer would later → later when?
• "had started to feel heavy," → comma after quote.
• fans of the band began to speculate that the band was perhaps over → fans began to speculate that the band was perhaps over.
• such tracks as "The Rifle's Spiral" → with such it seems you are about to elaborate a list
• Mercer later explained, referencing Neutral Milk Hotel and Lilys as examples, → it was in the same interview, remove "later"
• which led to him feeling → which led him to feel

Recording and production

• Change the name of the section to "Artwork and recording".
• Merge both sections.
• Merge both paragraphs on this section.

Music

Composition

• "vintage-inspired sounds inspired" → vintage-inspired sounds influenced
• "Mercer and producer Greg Kurstin's upbringing in Germany in the 1970s". → What do you mean with this sentence?
• "The German imagery found on Port of Morrow was inspired by avant-garde pop, artists such as Faust and Can, as well as Brian Eno's production work" → The German imagery found on Port of Morrow was inspired by "avant-garde pop" artists such as Faust and Can, as well as Brian Eno's production work.
• I cant' find reference to Can and Brian Eno on the reference you provided, is very likely missing a reference here.
• straightforward lyrics." → full stop after quote!
• "are highly layered, which an extension of Mercer's desire to make the songs" ...→ are highly layered, which acts as an extension of Mercer's desire to make the songs...

Lyrics

• "Bait and Switch" was written about a situation in which a man is taken for granted in a relationship he falls into by a woman → doesn't sound right, re-word
• "and is written" → ad was written
• "Port of Morrow: "I looked it up online the other night because people are asking me now over here, so I looked it up. It’s this industrial port and very boring."" → remove the ":" and replace it by "," in the end put the full stop after the ".

Artwork

• stated, "After... → stated that "after...
• "After working with James Mercer on Broken Bells, he came to me about this Shins album. He sent references of old Eastern European book covers with skulls and psychedelic faces. So I explored three different rounds of creative. Each time getting closer to what he was looking for. In the final round, I scanned a cross cut of a rock which formed that mountain and put this spirit made of feathers on top. He immediately loved it, but thought it needed a Hopi-inspired mask because he grew up in New Mexico. So he sent me all this great inspiration and it slowly evolved into that cover. If you look closely we’ve filled that smoke coming down the mountain with naked ladies at James’ request. [...] It’s pure Hopi psychedelic spookiness." → use your own words interpolated with the quote.

Reception

• Link music critics to music journalism
• Full stops after end of quotes (all the first and second paragraph), same for the commas.
• Mojo? Isn't supposed to be BBC Music?
• Slant Magazine → Slant or change Paste → Paste magazine in the first sentence, your call.
• Since Slant Magazine is a magazine, should have Slant Magazine.
• "and Slant Magazine felt Port of Morrow less important than the band's other works" → re-word this
• felt → perceived (change only one of the "felt")
• but still fun: → remove :
• The album was ranked #48 on Stereogum's list of top 50 albums of 2012 → The album was ranked forty-eight on Stereogum's list of top 50 albums of 2012.

Track listing

• Lacks reference, directing to album notes.
• The reference there should be on the title "Bonus Tracks", and the tile of the per said reference should not be the publisher.

Singles

• Should be before reception.
• Needs references to back the date and expansion clearly.
• Apparently there were two singles but you only mention one.

Charts

Weekly charts

• All of them need references, not only the first.
• Remove United States Billboard (Digital Albums) and United States Billboard (Tastemaker Albums), they are component charts.
• Change United States to US

Year-end charts

• United States Billboard 200 → US Billboard 200
• See above.

Personnel

• Fine

References

• Reference number 8 and 11 seem to be dead, replace them by their archive version.
• References from 26-40 need to be according like the rest of them instead of the URL.
• The majority of the references have publisher and not work, it should be the other way around. However, you can leave the publisher and just add the work.

Overall GA review

• Reference number 10 has a minimal copy violation, please re-word some of the sentence, in order to unfulfilling that requirement.
• @Saginaw-hitchhiker: the article has some good information but it's a bit distorted and I made some amends, however after you address everything I want you to submit it to GOCE. On hold for seven days to fix the points I raised. After everything is addressed "ping" me. Good luck. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 14:03, 24 June 2016 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Before you fail this since none of the issues have been addressed, mind if I swoop in to fix it up? dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 02:18, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

@DannyMusicEditor: sure, I was actually going to warn the nominator, but yes, the sooner the better. I wouldn't like to see my work go to waste as well. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:56, 1 July 2016 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Talked to the nominator. Looks like an article he nommed and planned to work on, but never got around to it because of other projects. I am therefore requesting it be failed. I have received the nominator's permission. It needs a whole section on its release and I don't think that's feasible within the review. dannymusiceditor ^{Speak up!} 20:15, 11 July 2016 (UTC)